fat jokes

[Anonymous]

I’ve been trying to lose weight for a couple of years but it’s not working.

I was standing at the kitchen island and my belly was touching it. DH was on the other side of the island and noticed that something dripped and that the counter needed to be wiped clean.

DH said “Can you walk around this way?” like I should wipe it with my shirt.

Then he said “What? You’re touching it anyway” while deliberately sticking his belly out like mine.

Would anyone else feel hurt by that? We have young kids so I can’t just leave. Just wondering if other DHs say things like this?

[Anonymous]

Is this his routine behavior?

[Anonymous]

Not routine behaviors. He sounds like a tool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this his routine behavior?

Not this bad usually, but yes he’s said stuff like this before.

And about other things too. Even before I gained weight he was implying that I wouldn’t be able to achieve a couple of my goals (which he denies now).

Just curious how typical this type of thing is and how other women deal with it. He thinks I’m being too sensitive.

[Anonymous]

No the joke was stupid and not acceptable.

The better thing is for him to say you are big and then help you achieve your goals.

However have you made it your number 2 goal (behind your kids) to get fit?
Are you getting proper sleep, eating healthy, working out 2x a day?
Has your husband talked to you about what he can do to help/support the above?

[Anonymous]

Your husband definitely owes you a full + sincere apology.

Jerk‼️🤨

[Anonymous]

Not okay.

[Anonymous]

Not nice.

I would find a time when all is quiet (ie kids are asleep) and say to him “I know you think you’re just joking, but when you comment about my body, it hurts my feelings. I need you to keep your jokes to yourself.” And if he pushes back, well—now is the time to start preparing for divorce. Better slow than never. Get your finances in order, start saving, research lawyers. Even if it doesn’t happen for a couple years you’ll feel more empowered getting ready.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been trying to lose weight for a couple of years but it’s not working.

I was standing at the kitchen island and my belly was touching it. DH was on the other side of the island and noticed that something dripped and that the counter needed to be wiped clean.

DH said “Can you walk around this way?” like I should wipe it with my shirt.

Then he said “What? You’re touching it anyway” while deliberately sticking his belly out like mine.

Would anyone else feel hurt by that? We have young kids so I can’t just leave. Just wondering if other DHs say things like this?

It really depends on how he's treated you throughout your relationship. Dh and I have been together 20+ years and I have been every size from way too thin (after illness) to overweight. Because he jokes a lot and because I know he loves and cares for me, I probably would have laughed at the counter comment. Only you know how your dh intended it.

[Anonymous]

My H made a comment about my weight and I said, I know you think you’re joking but it’s rude. You look like your 4 months pregnant and I’m sure you wouldn’t find jokes like “when are you due” funny.

He stopped. Then he tried to lose weight and couldn’t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been trying to lose weight for a couple of years but it’s not working.

I was standing at the kitchen island and my belly was touching it. DH was on the other side of the island and noticed that something dripped and that the counter needed to be wiped clean.

DH said “Can you walk around this way?” like I should wipe it with my shirt.

Then he said “What? You’re touching it anyway” while deliberately sticking his belly out like mine.

Would anyone else feel hurt by that? We have young kids so I can’t just leave. Just wondering if other DHs say things like this?

Tell him its unacceptable.

[Anonymous]

Sensitive crowd. I find that actually pretty funny.

[Anonymous]

OP, what did you try to lose weight that did not work? It is actually pretty straightforward. You need a calorie deficit and ideally some extra activity if you can fit it in. And I am not saying you should do it for your husband. Do it for yourself. You will feel much better. The reason you find that comment so hurtful is because you are not happy with how you look either. Change it. It is possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been trying to lose weight for a couple of years but it’s not working.

I was standing at the kitchen island and my belly was touching it. DH was on the other side of the island and noticed that something dripped and that the counter needed to be wiped clean.

DH said “Can you walk around this way?” like I should wipe it with my shirt.

Then he said “What? You’re touching it anyway” while deliberately sticking his belly out like mine.

Would anyone else feel hurt by that? We have young kids so I can’t just leave. Just wondering if other DHs say things like this?

It really depends on how he's treated you throughout your relationship. Dh and I have been together 20+ years and I have been every size from way too thin (after illness) to overweight. Because he jokes a lot and because I know he loves and cares for me, I probably would have laughed at the counter comment. Only you know how your dh intended it.

I agree with this. It depends on your relationship. My husband and I will joke about almost anything. That's a main reason why we are together. And it works for us. But of course there are always things that are too sensitive or not funny. I think the main thing is how does he react if you tell him it's not funny and does he keep doing it.

[Anonymous]

Pretty insensitive if he knows you are trying to lose weight. I guess we need to stop ragging my husband about his 6-months-pregnant belly