Relative wants to get on senior's bank account

[Anonymous]

I'm POA for a senior who has some dementia. This senior had me on the bank account and not another person. They didn't want the other person involved. When that person tried to get on the account before, the senior avoided doing it.

Now the other person is demanding to be put on the bank account. Senior is more spacey and forgetful now...

Should I be worried?

If yes, is there anything I can do?

I don't think the person will steal from the senior. My suspicion is that it's more a matter of wounded pride not to be the POA, so they want to insert themselves into the situation. They themselves have some cognitive impairment and make some unwise decisions and seem to have trouble controlling their emotions (they yell and blow up over small challenges of daily life).

[Anonymous]

Seems like everything is going according to plan, then. Why do anything, except make sure the status quo stays that way?

[Anonymous]

I mean yes, they could withdraw the money immediately. It also has potential inheritance implications and many bsnk accounts have rights of survivorship, meaning that when the person with dementia dies, the person will automatically be considered the owner of the account.

[Anonymous]

Seems your doing the thing that the senior wanted. Don’t get involved. It’s not your account. Just keep record of all your transactions.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely DO NOT put them on!!!

[Anonymous]

Definitely don't put them on it, but see if you can get them involved in helping the senior in other ways that involve making decisions - maybe which grocery store to use or where to buy new clothing from, etc. Things that have much lower stakes.

[Anonymous]

Don't put them on, the senior put you as POA to continue their wishes, which was not having this person on the account. So do as they wish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't put them on, the senior put you as POA to continue their wishes, which was not having this person on the account. So do as they wish.

The thing is the senior is in charge yet forgetful. They could be persuaded or forget they don’t want this. If the person bullies them into it, the senior may do it. In that case, I don’t see how I can stop it.

I hope it all works out. It’s upsetting, and I feel a little sick.

—OP

[Anonymous]

You need to take over the finances fully and say no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't put them on, the senior put you as POA to continue their wishes, which was not having this person on the account. So do as they wish.

The thing is the senior is in charge yet forgetful. They could be persuaded or forget they don’t want this. If the person bullies them into it, the senior may do it. In that case, I don’t see how I can stop it.

I hope it all works out. It’s upsetting, and I feel a little sick.

—OP

I have POA for my elderly mom and am on as a joint owner for her day to day account so I can help her pay her bills. Honestly in this case I think I’d close the account in question and open a new one where the senior is an authorized user but it’s not their account. Since you’re joint on the account I don’t think there would be any tax implications, as it’s joint money.

I’m not sure about your relationship with the senior but I moved the bulk of my moms assets to a financial firm when she started to show signs of pre-dementia. This firm requires all withdrawal requests to be made by phone or email. My mom is ripe for a scam and this way the majority of her money isn’t easily accessible to her. And any time she makes a financial decision I follow up our conversation by email and tell my brother (who will be the other beneficiary of her estate) of what she’s requested. She sometimes forgets decisions she’s made. It’s hard when they get old but I totally get your concerns.

[Anonymous]

Of course you don’t put them on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course you don’t put them on.

Of course OP isn’t asking if they should put the other person on. What they’re asking about is whether they should be worried by their insistence. Are there other ways this person could access money or get on the account? But thanks for your help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm POA for a senior who has some dementia. This senior had me on the bank account and not another person. They didn't want the other person involved. When that person tried to get on the account before, the senior avoided doing it.

Now the other person is demanding to be put on the bank account. Senior is more spacey and forgetful now...

Should I be worried?

If yes, is there anything I can do?

I don't think the person will steal from the senior. My suspicion is that it's more a matter of wounded pride not to be the POA, so they want to insert themselves into the situation. They themselves have some cognitive impairment and make some unwise decisions and seem to have trouble controlling their emotions (they yell and blow up over small challenges of daily life).

In general, I don't think you should be worried, but what is your relationship to the senior and what is the other person's relationship? The other person could go to court and try to get the POA assigned to them I suppose, but it seems like a lot of effort.

As far as the other person withdrawing money or something, take the same precautions you would to protect your own bank account.

[Anonymous]

If you are a co-owner of the account, I would talk to the bank about whether you can “lock” the account so that an additional owner can’t be added without your permission.

As someone else mentioned, adding an additional owner would give them a right of survivorship and they would own half of the account upon the death of the senior.

[Anonymous]

I know it is uncomfortable but what you need to do is send a clear email

Dear Uncle John,

As you know I am the POA for grandma. I am on her accounts with her. She will NOT be adding anyone else on to her accounts. Please do not ask her. If you have Any questions about her finances please let me know


Sally


And I would also call the bank like a PP suggested and see if you can lock her accounts somehow.