Concerns with reducing women to long hair, polished nails, dresses…?

[Anonymous]

[Please watch the Instagram clip below.]

I wish her the absolute best in life. She’s obviously a sweet, sensitive person….but, man I hate when we perpetuate stereotypes about women (like we don’t play sports and that we all have long hair and wear dresses).

You can be a boy with long hair, painted nails; you damn sure can be a girl who plays sports and wears nothing but jeans.

I really worry we’re enforcing old fashioned gender roles on people…ironically.

https://www.instagram.com/tv/CVTajUXDcN5/?utm_medium=copy_link

[Anonymous]

Yea… I’m not worried at all. She wants to wear those clothes. I’m a woman and I don’t. Her wearing a dress and heals no more threatens my identify as a woman who does not like all those things than my cis-gender females who dress and act like her.

We all like to express ourself outwardly in a certain way.

She may also change the way she expresses herself over time.

My niece who grew up in NYC who expressed herself with a ton of makeup/dresses/heals etc, moved to Colorado now she wears no make up and white water rafts and mountain bikes weekly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yea… I’m not worried at all. She wants to wear those clothes. I’m a woman and I don’t. Her wearing a dress and heals no more threatens my identify as a woman who does not like all those things than my cis-gender females who dress and act like her.

We all like to express ourself outwardly in a certain way.

She may also change the way she expresses herself over time.

My niece who grew up in NYC who expressed herself with a ton of makeup/dresses/heals etc, moved to Colorado now she wears no make up and white water rafts and mountain bikes weekly.

+1. Some cis girls like long hair and dresses and makeup. Some don't. Some trans girls like those things and some don't. Not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

This might clear some things up:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender

[Anonymous]

Yeah, doesn't bother me unless she tried to impose those expectations on other women, which I don't think she is at all.

I'm a cis woman and I've gone through phases where long hair, dresses, and nails were important to me, and phases where they weren't. I've definitely grappled with how I perform my gender throughout my life. Everyone does, and I think everyone should have the leeway to experiment as they choose.

For me a central issue is that things associated with femininity not be seen as less than. For instance, I think some parents fight against their female children getting into similar things -- dresses and pink and princesses. I get where that resistance comes from, but I think we have to acknowledge there is internalized misogyny in that reaction. Just as I think it would be wrong to tell a child who was born with male anatomy but saying "I feel like a girl, I want to dress like a girl" that they shouldn't, I think it's wrong to tell a cis girl that there is something wrong with embracing femininity. There's nothing wrong with being femme. It's just one of many gender expressions. No one should feel forced into it (just like they shouldn't be forced into a masculine, or any gendered, expression) but they also shouldn't be denied the opportunity.

And I feel the same way about any trans woman. If she wants to express her gender identity via stereotypical femininity, more power to her. The point is that she decides, and no one else does.

[Anonymous]

I used to worry about this. I am a middle aged woman who has always questioned gender stereotypes and don't fit traditional femininity in a lot of ways (for instance I have a haircut you see much more on men and don't wear makeup). I was concerned with the idea that young people who don't want to perform femininity today feel they need to identify as another gender because womanhood is becoming a smaller and smaller box.

And now I dont,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to worry about this. I am a middle aged woman who has always questioned gender stereotypes and don't fit traditional femininity in a lot of ways (for instance I have a haircut you see much more on men and don't wear makeup). I was concerned with the idea that young people who don't want to perform femininity today feel they need to identify as another gender because womanhood is becoming a smaller and smaller don't,

And now I dont,

Sorry accidentally hit post. I don't worry so much about that because I started paying more attention to who is actually policing other people's gender expression. It's not trans women posting glow up pics in 50s dresses or teenagers calling themselves demigirls because they wear jeans and hoodies. It's adults putting invasive "gender proof" requirements on youth athletics, or women freaking out that saying "pregnant people" erases them from society (although last I heard, women were people too). The people more concerned with policing other people's bodies and denying access to anything at all based on gender are the ones to worry about here. Look around at the actions people are promoting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, doesn't bother me unless she tried to impose those expectations on other women, which I don't think she is at all.

I'm a cis woman and I've gone through phases where long hair, dresses, and nails were important to me, and phases where they weren't. I've definitely grappled with how I perform my gender throughout my life. Everyone does, and I think everyone should have the leeway to experiment as they choose.

For me a central issue is that things associated with femininity not be seen as less than. For instance, I think some parents fight against their female children getting into similar things -- dresses and pink and princesses. I get where that resistance comes from, but I think we have to acknowledge there is internalized misogyny in that reaction. Just as I think it would be wrong to tell a child who was born with male anatomy but saying "I feel like a girl, I want to dress like a girl" that they shouldn't, I think it's wrong to tell a cis girl that there is something wrong with embracing femininity. There's nothing wrong with being femme. It's just one of many gender expressions. No one should feel forced into it (just like they shouldn't be forced into a masculine, or any gendered, expression) but they also shouldn't be denied the opportunity.

And I feel the same way about any trans woman. If she wants to express her gender identity via stereotypical femininity, more power to her. The point is that she decides, and no one else does.

+1

[Anonymous]

It’s so performative and misogynist and heartbreaking. This poor child has been through a lot and I hope she finds peace.

[Anonymous]

To be clear, my concern is based on what she (from the clip) said about not wanting to play sports, but instead wanting to have long hair and painted fingernails as sort of a reasoning for why they feel like a girl.

….My post is not based on how she’s dressed in the clip.

[OP]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yea… I’m not worried at all. She wants to wear those clothes. I’m a woman and I don’t. Her wearing a dress and heals no more threatens my identify as a woman who does not like all those things than my cis-gender females who dress and act like her.

We all like to express ourself outwardly in a certain way.

She may also change the way she expresses herself over time.

My niece who grew up in NYC who expressed herself with a ton of makeup/dresses/heals etc, moved to Colorado now she wears no make up and white water rafts and mountain bikes weekly.

+1. Some cis girls like long hair and dresses and makeup. Some don't. Some trans girls like those things and some don't. Not a big deal.

This. Some girls are girlie girls. Nothing wrong with that. Many even prefer it.