Recs for a to-be parent

[kshin29]

Newly pregnant and have been told I need to plan a bunch of stuff now, like

a) enroll in day/childcare
b) write a will
c) get better life insurance

... any other recs for what to do as a to-be parent? Will cross-post.

[Anonymous]

Sleep and remember how good it feels.

529 too. But all this…..pales in comparison to sleeping in silence uninterrupted.

[Anonymous]

1) read up on infant sleep. You may change your mind, but if you and your spouse agree on an approach now, you’ve at least got a starting place, and potentially you’re all prepared. Personally, I’m a fan of early (4 months) CIO and use the Sleep Easy Solution book, but there are tons of other schools of thought.
2) if you’ve done any reading on this site, you’ll see that a major workload imbalance between husband and wives is a common, difficult problem. Assuming you want an egalitarian marriage, get ahead of this! Have some conversation. Maybe list out some “zones” that one or the other of you will take on completely. For example, in my house I handle all the clothes stuff - laundry, organizing, shopping for the kids. My husband handles all the cooking. Work that out now - it may change, but you’ll at least start off in the right foot. Don’t forget emotional labor. Whose going to remember to order diapers? Whose going to remember to schedule the pediatrician appointments? Etc, etc.
3) sleep. All the time, as much as you can.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t appreciate the sleep advice until I became a parent, I took it for granted and thought I had energy. No. You need to sleep and be as rested as possible.

[Anonymous]

I'm 6 months and here is what I would add to your list:

-Get nursery furniture soon if that is important to you. I wanted a particular style nursery and with COVID delays furniture is taking forever to get here.
-Meet with your financial planner if you want. Ours helped us plan a college savings strategy
-Evaluate health insurance if applicable (DH and I needed to switch plans)
-Start a running list of baby supplies. I have a note on my phone I add to as I think of things, most of which can be one Target order before baby arrives.
-Start a secret registry for the discount: some of the best advice I got on DCUM!
-Find a pediatrician: way too early for this, but add to your list!

[Anonymous]

Enjoy your freedom and not being responsible for another human 24-7. Sleep. Enjoy your partner. Engage in self care. Read books - pretty sure I haven’t read a novel in 2 years - too sleep deprived and can’t muster the mental energy. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep goes around the third trimester so enjoy it when you can.

[Anonymous]

I’ll take a stab at this from the future planning side of things:

1. 529 Plan. Research which institute you want to work with and talk with your partner, if you have one, about a plan and schedule for contributions. But, you cannot open an account until you have your child’s full name, date of birth, and Social Security number.

2. Will and Emergency Custodians. If you don’t have a will currently, you can draft one now, and once your child is born include his or her name and date of birth. You can’t designate emergency custodians for a child without naming a child and his or her date of birth. So another thing you can plan and prep for but can’t actually do until the child arrives.

3. Savings Account. Same message, you can’t set anything up without having the name and other identifying documents, but there are typically two types of savings accounts you can have for a minor. One is a custodial account that is linked to yours and the other is a separate individual account, that they will have much more access and freedom to work with over the years. For the former, we have Bank of America and can set it up online without having to go anywhere. For the latter, the child and all of their documentation Hass to be present physically at the bank to set up the account.

4. Stuff you can research, begin drafting now, and keep a tickler you go back and finish after baby arrives: social Security number application and passport application.

5. List of notifications to make after child arrives: generally, this is getting a child added to health insurance, to your life insurance policy, and as a designate to a 401(k). Nothing needs to be done with the IRS until you file taxes and claim the dependent, and you need their Social Security number first in order to do so anyway.

My only other suggestion is that you opt to purchase additional formal copies of the birth certificate ASAP when baby arrives. It is always good to have more than one copy in case something happens to an original. Keep one in your files, keep one in a designated file for your child, and perhaps a third copy in a safe deposit box or with a trusted family member.

[Anonymous]

DP, but this is so helpful! Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Best 2 piece of advice i got were

1) Read chapters 7-12 of this book about sleep: https://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Harvey-Karp/dp/0553381466/ref=nodl_
Do it before the baby is born so you can digest it. Maybe its the method, maybe we just got lucky but DD has been a great sleeper and I swear by the swaddle and the white noise etc.

2) Work toward getting the baby on a schedule. Even now my 15 month old is on a schedule and its so beautiful. She is tired when its time and she seems to lean into the routine.