Does your kid “know their own mind”?

[Anonymous]

I’ve always known my kid isn’t much of a critical thinker, but it also seems like original thoughts are completely nonexistent. Does anyone relate? This is a kid who does well in school, has completely normal neuropsychological educational test results, plenty of friends, and is upbeat. Just no thoughts at all other than what other people say. Age 15. Two-parent family. No trauma history.

[Anonymous]

My 16-year-old does and he shares it with me quite frequently. Some of it is BS dribble but occasionally there is something that makes me actually think about it. He has ADHD and these thoughts typically come out on weekends when he isn't on his meds. He is an average student but has a pretty high IQ. ADHD isn't kind to him in terms of grades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 16-year-old does and he shares it with me quite frequently. Some of it is BS dribble but occasionally there is something that makes me actually think about it. He has ADHD and these thoughts typically come out on weekends when he isn't on his meds. He is an average student but has a pretty high IQ. ADHD isn't kind to him in terms of grades.

My child also has ADHD, and always thinks "out of the box" and has tons of original thinking, which doesn't always serve her well. Especially in a school setting, where kids have it much easier if they are able to memorize, restate, and craft their answers according to the way they are being taught, which my younger child without ADHD does easily.

[Anonymous]

My boys are both dyslexic and ADHD.

One has original thought, often explains alternate opinions to me in a way that makes me see things differently, questions everything, etc.

The other is pretty mainstream but very good critical thinker, doesn’t “learn well” (except math and science) but figures stuff out. One day he decided to teach himself piano and 1 year later just writes his own songs.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like the most typical teen ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like the most typical teen ever.

Except for the parents responding here, that is. Did you have something to add or were you just posting to be cruel?

[Anonymous]

Not sure what you mean by original thoughts. Are you expecting your kid to come up with novel theories of public policy?

[Anonymous]

Some kids are “bright, but not academic” and some kids are “academic, but not bright” And there are some kids that are both, and some kids are neither.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some kids are “bright, but not academic” and some kids are “academic, but not bright” And there are some kids that are both, and some kids are neither.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like the most typical teen ever.

Except for the parents responding here, that is. Did you have something to add or were you just posting to be cruel?

You’re as dumb as the most typical teens.

[Anonymous]

What does your family talk about during dinner/meals? Do you ask their opinion about current events on the news or about things going on in school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does your family talk about during dinner/meals? Do you ask their opinion about current events on the news or about things going on in school?

Absolutely. However when questioned as to their opinion, the reply is “I don’t know” or “I guess” or “ I haven’t thought about it.” Just trying to determine if this is normal teen or if additional advice might be needed. Child is drawn to LGBTQ+ activism but can’t articulate any thoughts about the movement or what role might be important other than what appears on TikTok and Instagram. This is a kid who is a follower to the extreme. I worry that without critical thinking skills, evaluation of activities is not present. I don’t care about sexual orientation or gender so long as people are kind and caring, but even that kind of thought is not expressed. Just outrage at the world and all things “conservative.” We are neither Dems or Repubs. No political activism anywhere.

[Anonymous]

Yes very typical and developmentally appropriate. Original thinking comes later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes very typical and developmentally appropriate. Original thinking comes later.

Thanks. That’s really helpful. I only have the one so no comparison.

[Anonymous]

Yes, weirdly, my 13yo does. She is really quite bright. She does parrot a lot of ideas she hears but she also has a lot of original thoughts (original to her, that is) and isn’t influenced as much by peers as most teens.

I am just surprised because I’m basically the least original person there is. I never had my own opinion about something until I was maybe 25 and even now I’m not sure if I do really have a strong sense of self and self-assurance. DD must get it from her dad.