Grocery incident left kid scared of... swans

[Anonymous]

While we were checking out our groceries I pointed to a balloon near the checkout area shaped like a swan to distract my toddler and was like, "Look, a pretty swan balloon!" Then the guy bagging our groceries says to my daughter, "You like swans, kid? Because they will EAT YOU. They're nasty evil animals that will attack you and they like to eat children and a swan is going to eat you!" My daughter, who is 2.5 and easily scared, starts to become distraught by this. My husband and I try to distract her while the store employee keeps doubling down, talking about a giant prehistoric swan that would hunt elephants (I admit I later Googled it and he was right about that part, apparently) and saying that a swan was going to eat our kid. Then he also made a weird remark about the brand of clothing she was wearing (there was a brand logo on her outfit). We had our infant with us in addition to our toddler, and as we're leaving this same employee calls after us that when they get older our children will "hate each other!" and I get that was probably intended to be a joke about how siblings often fight but... the whole experience was just really weird. Now my daughter keeps asking if swans are scary and will eat her.

So... should I just avoid that store in the future or am I being overly sensitive? Maybe this isn't as I weird an experience as I think? The best explanation I can come up with for what happened is that maybe the employee who kept trying to scare my toddler was on the spectrum and didn't understand social cues and that was his attempt to be friendly gone awry? Or maybe some people just think deliberately scaring children is funny? Maybe this is a regional cultural difference?

I'm confused and kind of upset by the whole thing.

[Anonymous]

Tell her no, the man was wrong and swan’s can’t eat her but they are kind of mean so we don’t go up to them.

[Anonymous]

Also the elephants were teeny which is fun so maybe pivot to that.

[Anonymous]

Wtf?? Not to be a Karyn, but I would absolutely speak to the manager about this. So inappropriate and not acceptable in a customer facing job.

[Anonymous]

This is so weird. I would have put a stop to it right at that time and been very stern with that employee at that time. Also, I would have made sure that the manager was made aware of what was happening.

[Anonymous]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cygnus_falconeri

I would have told my child that the person is very ill in his head and so he does not know what he is saying.

[Anonymous]

I am now very sad that dwarf elephants are extinct!

[Anonymous]

In my area grocery stores are a big employer of people with mental illness and various other conditions. I think it’s a good thing as everyone needs a job and so often people with mental illness struggle to find stable jobs. However, this employee was aggressive toward you and your child and you need to speak to their manager in this case I think. That’s way over the line.

[Anonymous]

I'd avoid his check out aisle. Engaging the manager would just suck out even more of my zapped energy. I'd tell kid he was joking but is a horrible joker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my area grocery stores are a big employer of people with mental illness and various other conditions. I think it’s a good thing as everyone needs a job and so often people with mental illness struggle to find stable jobs. However, this employee was aggressive toward you and your child and you need to speak to their manager in this case I think. That’s way over the line.

Yeah, in general avoid any line with a bagger. It’s almost always slower than a good checker by themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my area grocery stores are a big employer of people with mental illness and various other conditions. I think it’s a good thing as everyone needs a job and so often people with mental illness struggle to find stable jobs. However, this employee was aggressive toward you and your child and you need to speak to their manager in this case I think. That’s way over the line.

The two local grocery stores I frequent do so too. If you talk to the manager, OP, they can figure out how to help in this position or move him to a different, less customer facing role.

And re being a Karen, in a situation like this, your approach matters. Karens are defined by entitlement. If you are kind and understand that there may be issues you aren't aware of, it's not a Karen act. You may be saving this employee from a bigger/worse incident by helping the manager to address it.

[Anonymous]

It is highly unlikely that this employee was intellectually disabled or employed via a state program. Please don’t start such a rumor. Adults who bag groceries for a couple hours a week are not going around frightening kids. Go back to the 1930s where you belong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my area grocery stores are a big employer of people with mental illness and various other conditions. I think it’s a good thing as everyone needs a job and so often people with mental illness struggle to find stable jobs. However, this employee was aggressive toward you and your child and you need to speak to their manager in this case I think. That’s way over the line.

The two local grocery stores I frequent do so too. If you talk to the manager, OP, they can figure out how to help in this position or move him to a different, less customer facing role.

And re being a Karen, in a situation like this, your approach matters. Karens are defined by entitlement. If you are kind and understand that there may be issues you aren't aware of, it's not a Karen act. You may be saving this employee from a bigger/worse incident by helping the manager to address it.

Your entitlement is defined by the very notion that if an adult frightened your child, he must be mentally ill or disabled, and doesn’t deserve to be in public. Unbelievable.

[Anonymous]

Disabled workers are still expected to adhere to certain standards for their behavior in the work place. It would be discrimination to discipline a bagger for having a speech impediment, but not for making inappropriate comments. Long before Covid, our Safeway employed an older gentleman with ID who had hygiene issues. Not only did he smell unpleasant, but he picked his nose. People didn’t want him bagging for he was moved to wrangling carts on the assumption that people think carts are filthy anyway, I guess.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry, I must have missed a line in the original post. How do we know we are dealing with a disabled worker?