Does your baby only sleep in his/her crib (for safe sleep)

[Anonymous]

I’m in a safe sleeping group that I think is a bit extreme.

Our baby (9 weeks) sleeps in her crib at night and most naps. Infant mattress, fitted shear and nothing else.

However sometimes she falls asleep in the stroller (not at an incline, flat bassinet attachment), in her carseat (only while in the car driving) or in the carrier or even on me (while I’m awake).

According to the group all are unsafe. Baby should sleep in crib 100% of the tome. Not on me, not in car, not on a walk. When I challenged about car they suggested scheduling doctors visits around awake time. My baby often falls asleep in the car no matter what time, but we’re only in the car for like 15 minutes tops at a time. I also didn’t understand why her sleeping on me if I’m awake. They said chance of positional asphyxiation or I could fall asleep.

Is this extreme or am I wrong?

[Anonymous]

I did the exact same as you, plus supervised sleeping in the bouncer on occasion. I didn't intend for baby to fall asleep in those other non-crib locations but I follow the "never wake a sleeping baby" policy! Baby is fine and is now a toddler.

I think the group's approach is extreme, yes. But now you've learned a lesson of parenthood: Never tell neurotic people what you're doing. e.g. I don't tell my COVID-paranoid relatives that I took my baby to an outdoor restaurant. Don't give them ammo.

[Anonymous]

They’re extreme. Infants and newborns sleep nonstop. And I cannot schedule my daughters school times. Hah. So maybe the advice only works for first borns.

My baby does only nap in pack n play downstairs or in bassinet

[Anonymous]

I think extreme viewpoints like theirs are dangerous because moms figure they can’t do that so don’t even try. Instead they should say how to make infant sleep in carriers safe. Such as checking on them in car seats, limiting time and using mirrors in the car.

[Anonymous]

Ridiculous. Your baby is likely going to fall asleep in the stroller or in his or her car seat while driving. What are these people doing, never leaving the house with their babies?

[Anonymous]

Infants sleep so much, they’d never leave their crib! These people are crazy.

[Anonymous]

Is only sleeping in bassinet/crib the safest option? Yes. Is it realistic? No. My baby slept on my exclusively for at least 6 weeks (cried uncontrollably if placed down anywhere). My advice is to unfollow the safe sleep groups. You know the basics of safe infant sleep. What is this group adding to your life besides anxiety?

[Anonymous]

That is nuts. Babies fall asleep in their parents' arms all the time. Just don't fall asleep holding them and you're good. Most of the time mine falls asleep in my arms and then I transfer him to his bassinet. That group is just trying to shame and put people down over ridiculously miniscule risks to feel better about themselves and their own parenting insecurities. Don't let them get to you. You're doing great and being very safe.

[Anonymous]

All those other places are supervised, especially on you or being worn. That sleep is perfectly fine.

I wouldn't do overnight sleep in a car seat, of course but if the baby fell asleep at nap time in the car and stayed asleep when the car seat is brought in, then sit down on the couch with the baby on the floor next to you and relax.

[Anonymous]

I guess technically they are correct, but also obviously it’s not possible for most people to follow 100% of the time. Do they suggest stopping driving on the side of the road if you kid falls asleep in the car seat while driving? That seems way less safe than sleeping in a car seat. Like all of life it’s risk avoidance. I mean, technically a car is a really unsafe place for a kid to be awake or asleep if you look at crash statistics. But I’m sure they aren’t walking to the doctors right? Do what you need to survive.

[Anonymous]

That is extreme and I think wrong.

There's a difference between supervised and unsupervised sleep. If the baby will be unsupervised, they should be on their back in a crib or equivalent (bassinet if they are small enough, pack n play works). So overnight sleep, or naps where you might be in the next room.

But for supervised sleep, they can sleep just about anywhere! Stroller, carseat, infant carrier, the floor, even your bed (ideally with safety measure in place in case of rolling). If you are close by, awake and alert, and can check on them frequently to make sure they have not rolled over or their airways aren't obstructed in some way, it's fine. My baby slept in the carrier all the time and it was never unsafe -- her face was inches away from my face and I would have known instantly if something was wrong. I could feel her breathing!

[Anonymous]

I was in a group like that and I had to leave. Yes, they’re technically correct. But real life and real babies don’t work like that. Also a lot of the main posters and moderators/admins were people who had lost children in unsafe sleep accidents and so they were coming at everything from a very trauma-induced perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is extreme and I think wrong.

There's a difference between supervised and unsupervised sleep. If the baby will be unsupervised, they should be on their back in a crib or equivalent (bassinet if they are small enough, pack n play works). So overnight sleep, or naps where you might be in the next room.

But for supervised sleep, they can sleep just about anywhere! Stroller, carseat, infant carrier, the floor, even your bed (ideally with safety measure in place in case of rolling). If you are close by, awake and alert, and can check on them frequently to make sure they have not rolled over or their airways aren't obstructed in some way, it's fine. My baby slept in the carrier all the time and it was never unsafe -- her face was inches away from my face and I would have known instantly if something was wrong. I could feel her breathing!

I agree with this! My baby didn’t nap in the crib until she was four months old. There would have been no day sleep if I didn’t let her sleep in the stroller, in a carrier, while nursing. As long as there is an attentive adult present, I don’t think sleeping other places is necessarily unsafe.

[Anonymous]

I tried for one good crip nap every day for the sake of independent sleep, and I think the baby should always be in the crib or bassinet if the adults are sleeping. But if you're watching them, you're good. If SIDS in infant car seats were an issue, we would know. I think the movement of the car keeps them from getting that deep asleep.

[Anonymous]

A group like that would have been devastating to my mental health. My baby did not believe in daytime sleep in her bassinet until she was about twelve weeks old. From weeks 1-12 she *only* slept in a k’tan (or held) in the daytime, but would sleep fine in the bassinet at night.