Ending a relationship

[Anonymous]

I've been dating a woman for a few years. I just can't make the decision to propose. We both have a kid from previous relationships. I'm nothing but accepting towards her daughter. She constantly tells me how to parent. The difference is she has full custody and I have 50%. I get that my kid's not perfect and neither is hers. But it gets exhausting to constantly her what my kid does wrong, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been dating a woman for a few years. I just can't make the decision to propose. We both have a kid from previous relationships. I'm nothing but accepting towards her daughter. She constantly tells me how to parent. The difference is she has full custody and I have 50%. I get that my kid's not perfect and neither is hers. But it gets exhausting to constantly her what my kid does wrong, etc.

Please do this for you child's sake. She does not love your child. She is first and foremost only concerned about her own.

These disagreements will get bigger. Definitely do not marry this woman. Maybe once all the kids have flown the nest, but do not marry and give kid a hypercritical step-mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been dating a woman for a few years. I just can't make the decision to propose. We both have a kid from previous relationships. I'm nothing but accepting towards her daughter. She constantly tells me how to parent. The difference is she has full custody and I have 50%. I get that my kid's not perfect and neither is hers. But it gets exhausting to constantly her what my kid does wrong, etc.

Please do this for you child's sake. She does not love your child. She is first and foremost only concerned about her own.

These disagreements will get bigger. Definitely do not marry this woman. Maybe once all the kids have flown the nest, but do not marry and give kid a hypercritical step-mother.

+10000

if this woman becomes your child's stepmom, your will make your child's life so much harder than it needs to be. It will probably hurt their self-esteem and their ability to function well in the world. Your child deserves better. If you make your kid suffer because you insist on marrying *this* woman, your kid will resent you.

[Anonymous]

If you subject your child to this you will rightfully deserve any animosity your they show you in the future. You did not say how young your child is, but the younger he/she is the worse it will be. This woman needs to be compatible with both you and your child.

[Anonymous]

OP here. A few more things that concern me. It's never about my son. It's like, well we'd just move in my house, your kid should go to school where my daughter goes so it's normal for her since you only have him 50% of the time (instead of us coming up with something together), my kid is used to this so your kid should adapt.

[Anonymous]

How old are your kids?

Why do you need to get married at all? Can’t you just live in your house and she in hers? You can go in dates and have companionship without destroying your child’s life.

[Anonymous]

Is her daughter an only child? Is your son?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. A few more things that concern me. It's never about my son. It's like, well we'd just move in my house, your kid should go to school where my daughter goes so it's normal for her since you only have him 50% of the time (instead of us coming up with something together), my kid is used to this so your kid should adapt.

Oh wow. That sounds even worse than criticizing your parenting, honestly. It sounds like she would be both a terrible stepmom and a terrible partner. Just awful. I"m so glad you're examining these issues before marrying her. Listen to your gut. It's telling you that marrying her would be a huge mistake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are your kids?

Why do you need to get married at all? Can’t you just live in your house and she in hers? You can go in dates and have companionship without destroying your child’s life.

They're both 9.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is her daughter an only child? Is your son?

Yes to both.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is her daughter an only child? Is your son?

Yes to both.

Do you want to have more children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is her daughter an only child? Is your son?

Yes to both.

Do you want to have more children?

No

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is her daughter an only child? Is your son?

Yes to both.

Do you want to have more children?

No

Then the question remains, why do you have to blend lives and get married? Can’t you just stay in your house and she in hers? When it’s your time with your son you can focus on him and minimize their time together. Even under the best of circumstances, blended families are a nightmare, it’s super hard. Why not just enjoy each other’s companionship and leave it at that?

[Anonymous]

If you can't have a conversation with her about her parenting comments, is this really a relationship?

Strife over kids and childrearing is a deal-breaker. No joy in that situation and the kids become collateral damage.

[Anonymous]

I think this is pretty clear and you need to break up with her. She's selfish, self centered, and does not care for your son. I'd cut her loose for your son's sake.