How many of you went to a top college or university or ????

[Anonymous]

You seem to do pretty well if you didn't so why all the pressure to get your kids to go there?

oh it is not about them is it?

[Anonymous]

Your post would be more persuasive if your grammar and punctuation were correct.

[Anonymous]

Dh went to an okay state school and is doing very well in his profession. I went to a top 25 school (based on US News and World Report FWIW) and I did not have anywhere near dh's success in the same profession. I am so not worrying about getting my kid into a top school.

[Anonymous]

You don't expect through a few anecdotes posted on an anonymous forum to convince people that the university doesn't really matter, do you?

[Anonymous]

I did go to one. And really I feel no pressure for my kids to do the same.

[Anonymous]

I went to a fine school and if my kid wants to go to MC or Harvard, I would be proud of them.

[Anonymous]

I went to a top university and graduate school. I put "good university" into the pile of all the other things I hope my kids will be able to have. I certainly don't intend to steer them away from a great university.

[Anonymous]

I want my child to have excellent academic preparation, strong writing skills, etc. Wherever she can feel she's reaching her potential and finding fulfillment will be great.

I think the excellent schools provide great connections for one's life. However, it's the child who is ultimately responsible for what they become. Parents can only lead them in the right direction, not make the way.

[Anonymous]

I have just done a round of college visits with my DC. They were all good schools but not "top" schools by your likely definition. All ranked lower than my college and graduate school in various rankings out there. And they were by and large really great schools that I think would be a good fit for this particular child. That being said, even schools with 30% to 50% admissions rates (as opposed to the 6-7% for the "top" schools) are very competitive and require SAT prep and activities and strong grades, etc.

[Anonymous]

The world has changed. Now there are lawyers fighting to try to even get free internships on Capitol Hill. So, whereas, yesterday it was possible to "do well" with state school degrees -- it is becoming increasingly difficult. I get so tired of people saying what they did was ok...and then presuming it's just fine for the next generation.

Yes, my husband and I went to the same state school and we both went to grad school (MBA & JD). But, we wanted more for our child. Isn't that what the American Dream is about? Or, has the American Dream died and you are just accepting that?

We are so proud our child is at an Ivy...it is beyond all of our wildest dreams . We didn't know our kid had what it took to be an Ivy admit.

[Anonymous]

We both did (and both were first generation). Didn't feel pressured; don't want our kid to either. In DC's case, I don't think it'll matter even though it did for us. DC starts out with more resources than either of us did. Also, undergrad is the new HS -- grad matters more and, assuming you go to a good college (and there are lots -- most of which aren't Ivies), where you go to grad school is more a function of how well you did in college than where you went to college.

As the job market gets less secure, I don't think what college you went to will determine whether you sink or swim. And, at a certain point, upward mobility isn't much of an option. In HS, I watched the kids of Ivy grads feel like they were failures if they ended up at Berkeley or Chicago. That's a lot of pressure for no good reason.

Still, parents are understandably proud when their DC achieves something that was out of reach for them. Enjoy the moment!

[Anonymous]

Your logic is faulty pp for someone who claims to have gone to a top college.

[Anonymous]

Please explain how. My "top college" did teach me to recognize the difference between an assertion and an argument, LOL!

[Anonymous]

Surely if you went to a top college you're not a mom using "LOL" -- that lingo should be reserved for kids...try to use some of the fancy vocabulary you learned at your "top college".

[Anonymous]

I had a "fancy vocabulary" before I went to my "top college." But I use it when it's context-appropriate and precise. Not necessary here, when all I intended to do was ask a simple question -- one which, is seems, you are either unwilling or unable to answer.

"LOL" is context-appropriate on an internet bulletin board. Why limit yourself to one vocabulary when you have access to many?