Should I address this with nanny, and how?

[Anonymous]

Our nanny started with us about 6 weeks ago and we really like her a lot, especially our kids, which was our #1 priority. However, there is one thing that bothers DH and me and I am not sure how, or if, to address it.

As part of her duties we asked her to straighten up the playroom at the end of every day and the main areas of the house the kids play in or mess up. Unfortunately, she never does this because she typically picks our older one up from school with the younger in tow and then they don’t come home until 5pm when it’s time for her to leave. Sometimes they go to the playground or are at my older one’s activities, but they rarely walk in the door until 5 on the dot.

Every night the playroom and mudroom (which is next to the playroom and where you enter from the garage) are a total disaster with toys everywhere, sippy cups and half eaten snacks left on the table, and the older one’s backpack contents strewn all over including her lunchbox with food that needs to be emptied. I originally suggested that the nanny come home 10-15 mins early to tidy up but she said the kids are having so much fun and it’s hard to get them to leave the playground or soccer field so she lets them take their time. I love that the kids are out having fun and part of me doesn’t want to interrupt that, but it’s definitely annoying after a long day of work and rushing to prep and then clean up from dinner to have to deal with all the other clean up too.

Should I say something again? I don’t want her to stay late to do it but do think it should be her responsibility since we laid it out from the beginning.

[Anonymous]

That’s crazy. Yes they should come back 15 min early OR she should tidy up before leaving to pick up the older child from school.

[Anonymous]

I bet if you tell her she needs to clean up before she can leave, those kids will be ushered in the door before 5 so she can still leave at 5.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand. How old are your kids. So, she’s only watching one child until she leaves to pick up the other child? She and the younger child should make it a habit to clean up everything before they leave the house. The younger child can be involved in it. It is actually good for the child to be in the habit of cleaning up. The benefit of having a nanny is that the nanny cleans up the areas of the kids mess up. I would be unbelievably annoyed. Address it now. Address it very nicely, and suggest that she incorporate clean up into the younger child routine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand. How old are your kids. So, she’s only watching one child until she leaves to pick up the other child? She and the younger child should make it a habit to clean up everything before they leave the house. The younger child can be involved in it. It is actually good for the child to be in the habit of cleaning up. The benefit of having a nanny is that the nanny cleans up the areas of the kids mess up. I would be unbelievably annoyed. Address it now. Address it very nicely, and suggest that she incorporate clean up into the younger child routine.

Yes, this. Do you want your kid to learn not to clean up after themself? Make sure she understands that this isn't just about your preference, it's about things you want to teach your child (e.g. time management and taking care of their stuff).

[Anonymous]

Agree with the pp who said the nanny, along with your child, should be cleaning up BEFORE they leave the house. Frame it as a teaching moment. Hopefully, this helps the process and remember to praise everyone.

[Anonymous]

She needs to pick up, or at the very least leave the house as clean as she arrived.

[Anonymous]

I would mention it, yes, or it's just going to cause resentment. Maybe have her teach your kids to help her clean up. That is what my regular sitters do (and what I do as well) with my toddler -- "let's pick up our toys before we go to bed." I come home to a neat house every time.

[Anonymous]

The nanny’s excuse is lame- why is it hard to get the kids to leave “early” but not hard 15 minutes later?

[Anonymous]

Is the younger one napping in the afternoon? If so she has time to clean up then before they head out to the school run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That’s crazy. Yes they should come back 15 min early OR she should tidy up before leaving to pick up the older child from school.

This. We had a nanny we loved. I had to bring this up a couple of times to her. Eventually, she did (mostly) clean up, but I never liked the way she did it. We just sort of accepted her subpar straightening up because she was ALWAYS really engaged with the kids. And really, that's what mattered.

[Anonymous]

Yes, of course you need to make it clear to your nanny that you expect her to clean up the playroom. You may (reasonably) assume that she would see this as part of her job, but clearly she does not. So unless you're going to fire her over this or accept a dirty playroom, you need to actually give her instructions. This kind of comes with the territory of being a boss.

Script:

"Mary, we are super happy with how things are going so far. The kids clearly love you, and I appreciate all the time you spend outside with them. But we need cleaning up the playroom to be part of your daily job. Can you please schedule in 15 minutes every day before school pickup to clean up? We also want Larla to participate so she gets used to picking up after herself. Thanks!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s crazy. Yes they should come back 15 min early OR she should tidy up before leaving to pick up the older child from school.

This. We had a nanny we loved. I had to bring this up a couple of times to her. Eventually, she did (mostly) clean up, but I never liked the way she did it. We just sort of accepted her subpar straightening up because she was ALWAYS really engaged with the kids. And really, that's what mattered.

Yep, I also had a nanny that I accepted this with. I figured after a while she was telling me that she didn't want cleaning up to be part of her job description, and I was not going to fire her over it because she was great in so many other ways. If it had really mattered to me though, I'm sure I could have figured out how to make that happen.

[Anonymous]

Our house is never as clean as when our nanny has just left. She always finds the time to clean up as they go through your the day. Very rarely there will be a few toys still out at the end of the day that they are actively playing with. She still manages to actively engage with the kids. I would definitely bring this up, keeping the kids areas tidy are 100% part of her job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the pp who said the nanny, along with your child, should be cleaning up BEFORE they leave the house. Frame it as a teaching moment. Hopefully, this helps the process and remember to praise everyone.

+1. Explain to her that you want the children to get into the habit of cleaning up after themselves and not leaving a mess. Ask her to start helping with this task and modeling it so that they can learn to do it on their own.