TTC after miscarriage...

[Anonymous]

I had a miscarriage in late January, and a D&C in mid-February because it didn't pass on its own.

I went back on birth control right away because I had too much going on and just could not handle TTC again right away. We got pregnant on the first cycle off birth control (copper iud removed in November), and now I'm on the pill and starting to think about trying again. Basically, I'm terrified of having another miscarriage, or something else going wrong. I have one other child, who is 12, and that was a super easy textbook accidental pregnancy (but birth and postpartum were absolute nightmares), and now that I'm "older" I'm afraid I just won't have a good experience, and I'm not sure I want another badly enough to risk another miscarriage/problem.

Advice? BTDT experiences? Things to think about?

[Anonymous]

Frankly it doesn’t sound like you want it badly enough. I’ve had 2 back to back miscarriages and absolutely nothing - including my insane fear of it happening again - will stop me from continuing to try and risk it because I want another baby that badly.

[Anonymous]

I had 1 kid, two miscarriages in a row, and then another kid.

The fear after miscarriage is real. I barely wanted to try again because I knew I couldn't handle another miscarriage and having 3 in a row could've indicated another issue.

But the only way is through it. If you want another child, then you have to try and take whatever comes with it.

[Anonymous]

And FWIW, my pregnancies were textbook.

[Anonymous]

I had two miscarriages 3 cycles apart. Now, I'm pregnant with a normal, drama free pregnancy. Minus the terrible morning sickness, which my OB said was a good sign.

[Anonymous]

I had 1 daughter conceived with an IUD (yes, you read it right)

2nd kid was conceived with a lot of hard work sex, and I ended up with I miscarriage.

Pregnant again. The fear is real, but my OB has been amazing! she asked me what would make me feel less anxious, so I'm going every 2 weeks (started at 8) until I get to 14 weeks. That's what I reasonably asked and she was cool with it! I also started therapy, so trying to manage my anxiety.

[Anonymous]

I had one kid, then a miscarriage, then another kid. During my pregnancy with my now second child, I had a lot of anxiety and really missed the blissful ignorance of my first pregnancy. But you have to be willing to get pregnant again to have another baby (absent other options like surrogacy and adoption).

It's traumatic. It sucks. Lots of people go through it but that doesn't make it easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had one kid, then a miscarriage, then another kid. During my pregnancy with my now second child, I had a lot of anxiety and really missed the blissful ignorance of my first pregnancy. But you have to be willing to get pregnant again to have another baby (absent other options like surrogacy and adoption).

It's traumatic. It sucks. Lots of people go through it but that doesn't make it easier.

+1. I could have written the above.

[Anonymous]

Did you find out why you miscarried? I had a miscarriage but I’m older and pretty sure it was a chromosome abnormality. I was sad but I also want a healthy baby and I try to think that nature isn’t perfect but will help achieve that. It makes me feel better that way I guess.

I am pregnant again and I am a little paranoid about every twinge, ache and constantly checking for bleeding after every pee. Even though I was trying I’m still scared of having another baby. I have two children who are a little older and I’m worried about family dynamics, my current “baby”, work, space in the house and car, and keep thinking oh shit what did we do!! But I’m also excited. FWIW I felt a little nervous about each kid! But they’re just so cute and I love them.

[Anonymous]

I had two miscarriages (early/first tri) before my daughter. Yes, it sucked the joy out of the healthy pregnancy a bit -- I remember checking the toilet paper for blood every time. But I'm glad I kept trying. Only you can determine if that's the same for you! It's 100% ok and healthy to say "this is the end of our journey"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had 1 daughter conceived with an IUD (yes, you read it right)

2nd kid was conceived with a lot of hard work sex, and I ended up with I miscarriage.

Pregnant again. The fear is real, but my OB has been amazing! she asked me what would make me feel less anxious, so I'm going every 2 weeks (started at 8) until I get to 14 weeks. That's what I reasonably asked and she was cool with it! I also started therapy, so trying to manage my anxiety.

She sounds amazing!

[Anonymous]

I'm pregnant for the 2nd time following a miscarriage 3 years ago and still am VERY private about expecting. I don't want to lose the baby and have to tell everyone. We have a scan this week and I'm basically holding my breath, trying not to think about it, etc. What you feel isn't strange. Totally normal.

[Anonymous]

First baby was textbook easy conception, pregnancy and birth.
Second pregnancy was a miscarriage after a long time trying to conceive.
Third pregnancy was a nightmare. I cramped and bled off and on through the first six months. Hcg rose more slowly than average. I announced my pregnancy to my husband and close friends like this, "I'm pregnant again but I don't think this one's a keeper."
Third pregnancy is now a high school junior.
That said, we originally wanted 3 or 4 kids, but the stress of pregnancy #3 led us to stop there.

It's going to be scary, but if you want another baby, you're going to just have to learn to live with the fear. I leaned heavily on my husband and prayer, but I think therapy would have helped to.