How do you know that hen kid is ready to stay home alone for this long?

[Anonymous]

We’ve been leaving DD11 home alone for varying and increasing amounts of time since 2020. At first it was for 15 minutes while going for a run, then it was an hour while we went to the gym (5 minutes away), then to the grocery store (10 minutes away.) We’ve increased the time as she’s grown comfortable being alone.

She has a cell phone, we live in a quiet neighborhood with two sets of elderly neighbors who are always home she could run to in an emergency. She is comfortable and has proven herself. She mostly just sees it as an opportunity to listen to music, eat snacks, and play video games.

DH and I are thinking of going to a movie. It’s a 20 minute drive each way, and let’s say 2 hours for a movie. How do you know your child is ready to be alone three hours?

[Anonymous]

All of what you said indicates she is ready. That's what I've done too -- increase the amounts of time left home and see how it goes. Since it's gone well and she seems responsible, I think you're good to go.

[Anonymous]

The rule of thumb is that a child can be left alone for the same number of hours as they are years old. So you leave a one year old for an hour, two year old for two hours, and so forth.

By 11, usually children are ready for a small pied a terre, or, if they are outdoorsy, some solo camping trips.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The rule of thumb is that a child can be left alone for the same number of hours as they are years old. So you leave a one year old for an hour, two year old for two hours, and so forth.

By 11, usually children are ready for a small pied a terre, or, if they are outdoorsy, some solo camping trips.

ummmmm

[Anonymous]

OP I have left my 9yo for 2.5 hours. Only once, it’s usually only an hour or less. But at 11 and with the description given, your kid should be fine.

[Anonymous]

How does she feel about it? My son was fine with being left alone for a few hours at age 11 during the day but would not have liked that at night. By 12 he was willing to stay alone while we went to dinner if we set the alarm and were in texting contact.

[Anonymous]

Why don’t you start with a nice dinner somewhere? That can easily be 2 hours. Get the dessert, linger over coffee. At a restaurant, you can put your phone on the table and occasionally glance to see if she’s texted you. At a movie, you shouldn’t do that.

If you will be gone at night, the neighbors aren’t as good if an option.

I would make sure she has a way to reach you if there is a problem. If she doesn’t have an iPad, etc, I wouldn’t leave her that long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The rule of thumb is that a child can be left alone for the same number of hours as they are years old. So you leave a one year old for an hour, two year old for two hours, and so forth.

By 11, usually children are ready for a small pied a terre, or, if they are outdoorsy, some solo camping trips.

LMAO! I love you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How does she feel about it? My son was fine with being left alone for a few hours at age 11 during the day but would not have liked that at night. By 12 he was willing to stay alone while we went to dinner if we set the alarm and were in texting contact.

that sounds slightly anxious? pretty sure my DS 9 would be nonplussed if we left for dinner for three hours, as I would have been at 11. by 12 I was babysitting at nights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How does she feel about it? My son was fine with being left alone for a few hours at age 11 during the day but would not have liked that at night. By 12 he was willing to stay alone while we went to dinner if we set the alarm and were in texting contact.

+1

I was happy to stay home alone all day long as a tween, but did not like being alone at night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does she feel about it? My son was fine with being left alone for a few hours at age 11 during the day but would not have liked that at night. By 12 he was willing to stay alone while we went to dinner if we set the alarm and were in texting contact.

that sounds slightly anxious? pretty sure my DS 9 would be nonplussed if we left for dinner for three hours, as I would have been at 11. by 12 I was babysitting at nights.

I was babysitting at that age, too, but I didn't like being home alone at night, either. My parents could leave me alone all day if they wanted, but nighttime just felt a bit creepier.

Also, nonplussed means "surprised and confused."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The rule of thumb is that a child can be left alone for the same number of hours as they are years old. So you leave a one year old for an hour, two year old for two hours, and so forth.

By 11, usually children are ready for a small pied a terre, or, if they are outdoorsy, some solo camping trips.

Omg I love this

[Anonymous]

At night or during the day?

Will you be annoying others during the movie checking your phone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does she feel about it? My son was fine with being left alone for a few hours at age 11 during the day but would not have liked that at night. By 12 he was willing to stay alone while we went to dinner if we set the alarm and were in texting contact.

that sounds slightly anxious? pretty sure my DS 9 would be nonplussed if we left for dinner for three hours, as I would have been at 11. by 12 I was babysitting at nights.

I was babysitting at that age, too, but I didn't like being home alone at night, either. My parents could leave me alone all day if they wanted, but nighttime just felt a bit creepier.

Also, nonplussed means "surprised and confused."

NP, but it also means unperturbed, which means untroubled.

[Anonymous]

Try a restaurant first if it’s dark out. It’s easier to answer the phone. My oldest would be okay but call a lot at that age. He’d like being alone but find reasons to call and ask questions. This only happened if it was dark. Our second child was fine being alone in the evening for several hours by 11.