If the invitation says “no gifts”

[Anonymous]

Do you still bring a gift? Etiquette wise it seems deeply wrong and inappropriate to not bring a gift to a kids birthday party. I feel like they no gifts thing is what everyone states now to avoid seeming like a quick party is a gift grab but in reality gifts would be ok or welcome.

[Anonymous]

Nope, if someone says no gifts, I believe them.

[Anonymous]

NO GIFTS MEANS NO GIFTS. FFS!!!

Have your child make a card. Tape a small fidget toy or something to it if you *must*, but don't bring a gift. Geez!!

[Anonymous]

Definitely do not bring a gift. Etiquette wise it's important to follow instructions and understand that people don't want a ton of toys cluttering up their house. If everyone brings a gift it's way too many gifts. If you don't want to arrive empty handed, have your child make a homemade card.

If you feel you must give a gift, make it something that gets used up, like an art supply or bubbles or a coloring book.

[Anonymous]

If the invitation says no gifts, I do not bring a gift unless I am related to the child or his godparent or it's like our very best friends or whatever -- a situation where not giving the kid a gift just feels wrong. And in that case, I am extremely discreet about the gift when I arrive and try to tuck it in a bedroom or hand it off in a way that does not bring attention to it. I will sometimes put it in a plain brown paper bag and hand it to the parents and say "Oh I had something at home that belongs to Larla, I wanted to make sure she gets it" or something. People get it.

But if it's just a school friend of my child and they so no gifts, I don't bring a gift because I don't want to be that person who is always pushing on stuff like this. Just do what is asked.

[Anonymous]

Well traditionally etiquette-wise it’s actually tacky to say “no gifts” or reference them at all on an invitation. That being said, generally if the invite explicitly says “no gifts”/ “no gifts please” then I don’t bring a gift, whereas if it says something like “no gift necessary” or “your presence is present enough” then I bring one.

[Anonymous]

“No gifts, please” I understand. It’s language like “gifts are not necessary” that confuse me.

[Anonymous]

We tend to do a handmade card. Sometimes have added a handmade bookmark, little origami craft or small sheet of stickers.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, no gifts means no gifts. Etiquette dictates, first and foremost, that you do nothing to make other people uncomfortable or feel embarrassed. Bringing a gift would make the host uncomfortable and the other guests feel embarrassed.

Have your kid make a card.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“No gifts, please” I understand. It’s language like “gifts are not necessary” that confuse me.

IT means don’t bring a gift. If you’re really unsure, ask the host.

[Anonymous]

If you bring a gift, the host will inwardly sign resignedly but feign pleasure. The other guests will feel awkward and wonder if you are trying to make them look bad.

It sucks for everyone but you, so it’s really selfish - you are doing it so YOU feel comfortable even though it will make other feels uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

I say "no gifts" because we live in a smaller house and my kid literally has all the toys we can handle, with the toys we and grandparents will give him. I have to sort/eliminate so it's not out of control, and if he received 30+ gifts from a party, that would be most unwelcome and unnecessary.

[Anonymous]

Not this again!
No gifts means no gifts. Have your kid make or buy a nice card and that’s it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“No gifts, please” I understand. It’s language like “gifts are not necessary” that confuse me.

IT means don’t bring a gift. If you’re really unsure, ask the host.

Disagree- I feel like the latter is what people say when they don’t want to seem greedy/other recent parties in their circle have been no gift so they feel pressured to do the same... Or maybe they have people of differing economic circumstances attending and don’t want people to feel pressured to spend money they can’t afford. If you truly are opposed to getting gifts you just say it without caveat.

[Anonymous]

NP. What do you do when you show up to a no-gifts party and you’re the only guest who complied? My kid was very upset when this happened recently. She had just brought a card.