Eclectic group of friends

[Anonymous]

Just wondering. Do you have a very broad range and variety of friends? I realized that I do, in terms of interests, socioeconomic backgrounds, values. It makes it harder to co-mingle my friends, because some are such opposites, and their interests are so different.

I also wonder why I ended up with such a wide range of friends- honestly, some are so very different from me. For instance, I love being outside and in nature, and I have friends who pretty much hate nature and avoid it.

[Anonymous]

I used to but it narrowed as I got older. Partly because of what you are talking about -- they had nothing in common with each other and some even actively disliked each other. As I got older and had a family, I could not spend as much time socializing as I used to, so it became harder to maintain friendships with different group who didn't get along.

I also realized that some of my most "out there" friends were not eccentric or interesting -- they were just assholes. I have an arts background so I used to have a lot of artistic friends and in those circles, a lot of "eccentricity" is forgiven if someone is talented or connected. But as I got older I got tired of dealing with people who were rude, selfish, or self-absorbed. This wound up eliminating a good chunk of my more eccentric friends. Especially after I had a kid, I just didn't have patience for flaky people who never showed when they said they would, changed plans last minute to accommodate some whim, etc. If I saw them now I'd be happy to chat, but I stopped expending any effort on them because they rarely returned the favor.

I still have friends who have varied interests and opinions, as I'd get bored otherwise. But I accomplish that by maintaining a small group of friends who are all very independent minded. No sheep. My friends and I argue about all kinds of things -- art, music, politics, etc. But we agree on basics of how friendships should work. It's a good mix.

[Anonymous]

I’m a friendly person and I tend to pick up friends whenever I’m in regular contact with people. I’m introverted but not shy, so I tend to have an assortment of different types of people as friends, but I don’t try to mix them up. I’m sure it would be okay if I hosted a party and invited everyone; I don’t expect a race riot or political rumble to break out. It’s a varied group but they’re all good, decent people (for the most part). At the same time, I don’t think any love connections or new lifelong friendships would come out of it either. Considering all that, plus the fact that I don’t care for big parties, I’m cool with just hanging out one on one or in small groups when I’m able to see various friends.

[Anonymous]

Yes, they vary in age from 26 to 65. All races, from different countries (China, Malaysia, Bangladesh, Nigeria, UK, etc). Christian, Buddhist, Jewish, Muslim. Gay and straight. Extroverts and introverts. Able bodied and disabled. Blue collar and white collar..

Everyone is a liberal, however, so we share values in common. Of course we have different hobbies, but that makes everyone more interesting.

I have moved around some, and made friends on dating apps I might not have met in every day life, so that may account for some of it. But you have to be interesting to attract other interesting people.

[Anonymous]

I’m pp, and have had big parties and everyone got along. Most of my friends are funny so that helps. Everyone is a good person.

[Anonymous]

I do.

I have friends who don’t, though. Like my best friend from private high school. All her friends are white, went to top fifteen private colleges, are in jobs now where they make a lot for money, etc.

[Anonymous]

That's kind of cool to get everyone's take on it. I like having all different kinds of friends, but it does come with its challenges for a reserved and introverted person like myself who might do better with a smaller social circle. But on the other hand, I much more enjoy hanging with the small groups rather than large groups, so maybe it is actually a better fit for me. I also am naturally curious about people and like being exposed to a widely different interests and hobbies.

[Anonymous]

Diverse. My kids are the same. The person is what matters (what's inside). Good/kind comes in many different packages and economies.

[Anonymous]

Yes. And as a result I don't have a group of friends. It makes it hard to see them often enough to keep up with the friendships. Oh well.

[Anonymous]

I did have more artist friends when I was younger. As I got older I felt many were irresponsible and knew little of how the real world worked. It's like a lot of college professors. They are good at what they teach, but not so much in the real world with application. Our friends are down to earth and middle of the road with all kinds of jobs. No extremists.

[Anonymous]

Similar to 7:43. Everyone is within the range of liberal, but otherwise wildly different.

I hate nature and camping - my limit is a three hour span of time outside, and one of my closest friends loves fly fishing. I love dim sum and a friend hates it, but loves Mexican food, which I hate. You can easily be friends with lots of different types of people. And they can all mingle at a party without a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes. And as a result I don't have a group of friends. It makes it hard to see them often enough to keep up with the friendships. Oh well.

Yes! This is a huge downside. It's hard to keep up with everyone because they are all so different and in varied friend groups.