Healing after the loss of a pet

[Anonymous]

We lost our dog unexpectedly and somewhat traumatically in July, and I'm having the hardest time moving on. He was my best buddy, and my heart hurts so bad every time I think of him. I know that everyone who has ever had the honor of loving a pet has eventually lost that pet but I had no idea it would hurt this bad. Everyone in my family is sad, but I'm having the hardest time coming to terms with our sweet dog not being here to cuddle on my lap every night. What helped you heal after the loss of a beloved pet?

[Anonymous]

I got another cat. It felt “too soon” less than two months later, but it was extremely helpful for me to have another animal to care for and love. I’m sorry for your loss.

[Anonymous]

So sorry, OP. Losing our dog earlier this year was an extremely painful experience. Even though I didn't think I was ready, getting another dog a few months later really helped. I still miss our previous dog so much and will still tear up when looking at pictures or recalling a memory, but our new dog in his crazy, needy, loving puppy ways have helped me focus my energies elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

A new pet really does help a lot of times.

[Anonymous]

They take a piece of your heart when they leave so you’ll always miss them. I just lost my bestie of 17 years. I’m not interested in another, the hurt is too fresh.

[Anonymous]

OP do you mind sharing what you mean by somewhat traumatically?

my dog was hit by a car in front of me and no one else as a child. my mom had a ceremony for my beloved pet and in due time we got another pup. one who scared me half to death with his antics. i'm not sure what i would do as an adult, but it seems that the ceremonial mourning really helped put it to rest (and moving on to care and love for another companion).

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry for your loss, OP.

Time and talking helped me. I talked about my dog probably too often to too many people including my therapist, but after 13 years together that included several moves and a divorce he truly was my best friend. I didn’t adopt a new dog for 3+ years after my first buddy’s death from bone cancer and even then it was really hard not to accidentally use the wrong name, make comparisons, etc.

Again I’m really sorry for your loss.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thank you all for your insight and for sharing your own experiences.

As for why it was traumatic...We left our dog with a new dog sitter when we went on vacation on the west coast in July. I did what I could to vet them sitters (a really nice young couple with two dogs and great reviews on Rover), including taking my dog to their house to meet them. I told them that his breed is sensitive to heat, but they took him for a 45 minute long walk on a hot day not realizing how sensitive he was. He had a heat stroke and died the next day after 24 hours of being rushed around to three different emergency vet clinics. It was traumatic because I feel so much guilt about leaving him with new people. Maybe I wasn't clear enough with them about his sensitivity to heat. Maybe I should have left him at the vet kennel. Maybe we shouldn't have gone on vacation at all. I just feel so much guilt about his life being cut short, as he was only six years old. (I really don't blame them, because they did what they could to try to save him and were absolutely devastated when he passed.)

So I guess some of my grief is really complicated by guilt of what we could have done to avoid this. I really would like to open up my heart to a new pet in the next year or so, but right now it just hurts to bad to take that step.

Thank you all again for your thoughts and compassion.

[Anonymous]

OP ~ Is there a VERY good reason you can't get another dog RIGHT NOW? Absent a very specific, solid reason, get another dog right now. And I mean right now.

[Anonymous]

So sorry, OP. Heartbreaking. It’s not your fault but I would feel the same. Whenever I am upset, I try to remember that time will heal the pain. Hugs.

[Anonymous]

Where there is great love, there is great grief.

I'm sorry, OP. I am the same. It always hurts, years later... you just learn to live with the hurt.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry that’s awful. I too think getting another dog is the best way to start feeling a little better. I also dogsit on Rover and would feel horrible if this happened. Do you mind if I ask which dog breed?

[Anonymous]

So sorry for your loss, OP, and I've been there myself. Mine died last fall and I still cry about it. I adopted a rescue dog 2 weeks later because I was so lonely without her- I live alone, no family in this state. Having her here really helped me get through some terrible grief. I agree with others that maybe you should consider getting new dog.

[Anonymous]

PP, you are a total dick. No one that has an dog as an accessory is sharing the info about the deep pain they feel. Crawl back into your troll cave. Maybe reddit, where you can troll away

[Anonymous]

I cried for 3 days straight when my first dog died as an adult. I had to take 2 days off work, so I get it. I adopted another dog about a month later from a rescue group. He was found in a rural area of SC and would have been euthanized if left in a shelter there. It really does help with the grief to give your heart to another dog, especially one that needs a home that has a rough start. The love for your other dog will never go away, but your heart gets bigger to make room for more love.