Does your 13 year old have social media?

[Anonymous]

My DS is begging but I'm not ready to give in. (And no, he doesn't secretly have it. I have to give my password to add an App). He's of course saying he's the "only one," so I'm curious how true that is?

I'm including Snap, TikTok, Instagram, FB and Twitter in the list of can't haves fyi.

[Anonymous]

My 12 yo has an Insta. He's posted like two times.

Snapchat and Tiktok are a different story.

My teen has TikTok but I follow her, so I have a basic idea of what is going down. Of course she may very well have a secret account, but she knows if we find it it's bye-bye phone.

Good luck.

Social media is a nightmare but I do think you should be having open conversations about it and not just a hard no, because kids do start to lie and hide things from stricter parents. Wish I had better news. But its important they learn how to manage it and you honestly are the best teacher.

[Anonymous]

My now 14 yr old had it when she was 12. The rule was that she had to allow certain people to follow her/friend her.

Prior to having kids I was a Girl Scout and Cub Scout leader--you know back when I had copious amounts of free time

Those "kids" are all now young adults. Over the years they have babysat for me and I've kept in touch with many of them. Those are the people that my kids have to be friends with/allow to follow.

I've gotten texts from them with screen shots letting me I needed to talk to my kid.

[Anonymous]

Social media can be a nightmare for young teens. Don't do it OP. Hold off as long as possible. My DD had one social media app and I just took her phone from her indefinitely because of totally inappropriate use. FYI she actually seems happier now that she's had a few days to "detox".
Best of luck to you OP. It's a crazy world out there.

[Anonymous]

DD who is 13 watches TikTok. She doesn't post. She is a lurker. I follow her and she has 1 video of her Fortnite screen (not her in the video just the screen) as she plays a game. But even watching can be too much. Some videos are not kid-friendly.

[Anonymous]

My 13 yr old DD has a private instagram act and something like 8 followers, all known, all friends. She only posts photos of things she's made or cooked, not herself.

She has looked at tiktok but not got an act or posted.

She is wary of social media for good reasons.

[Anonymous]

My 13 year old only has Pinterest. Most of her friends have snap chat and tiktok.

[Anonymous]

Op here -- Thanks all. This is all good to hear. I'm not trying to be a "strict" parent and trusting my kids is something I've always made a priority in our relationships. It's all these crazy social media sites that I don't trust!

[Anonymous]

I have two 13 year olds and one 15 year old. None of them use social media, but also they've never really asked for it. The younger ones are vaguely aware of it and think it's dumb. The older one knows more about it from her friends talking about it, but thinks it sounds unappealing based on what they describe. If they're missing out on social things as a result, they either seem not aware or not to care. If anything, the older one seems happy to avoid it based on discussions with friends who she says have indicated they would like to stop using it but don't really feel like they can.

Since the kids have never pushed for social media, we've had an easy time parenting on this issue, because my wife and I strongly prefer they not use it. I'm sure it would have been much more difficult if they badly wanted to use it and we needed to restrict that.

[Anonymous]

My daughter is almost 14 and is one of the very few that does not want social media and doesn’t have it either. Her friends just text and send pictures and videos to her phone. She doesn’t need another companies platform that can be seen by marketing snoops behind the scenes and doing whatever they want with her data to socialize. Plus she knows whatever she would ever post would follow her forever. At least she’s off it for now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here -- Thanks all. This is all good to hear. I'm not trying to be a "strict" parent and trusting my kids is something I've always made a priority in our relationships. It's all these crazy social media sites that I don't trust!

At 13, you are being strict and these other parents are not the norm IRL. Mine has an account for everything you posted except Facebook. Discord is the most popular. It’s about monitoring and limiting use there and continuing to have conversations about internet safety, not banning things at this age. They can get accounts even if you stop them from doing so on their phones. This is how kids communicate now. They don’t really text.

[Anonymous]

No. At 15, DS has now has a twitch account (not creator, though). No other social media. He shows no interest in anything else at the moment. We’ll have additional talks at 16.

I recommend you and your teen watch The Social Dilemma. It’s on Netflix, not sure where else.

[Anonymous]

Discord and that is it. No to Facebook, Insta, Tik Tok, SnapChat, Houseparty, etc.etc. If that makes me a strict parent then I’ll gladly own that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 13 year old only has Pinterest. Most of her friends have snap chat and tiktok.

Same. She hasn't asked for any of the others but I suspect she thinks I would say no anyway. Which is mostly true, although a very limited private Instagram account so she could follow things related to her favorite sport would probably be okay.

[Anonymous]

Nope. And believe me, I hear about it not only from her but from her friends, how strict I am and how it's all so harmless. Don't care.