Depth of relationships

[Anonymous]

How emotionally deep / intimate are your relationships beyond your marriage? Marriage can be such a prison sometimes, in terms of not forming deep bonds with others for good reason, and yet having deep relationships is such a meaningful part of life overall. Do you just stick to same-sex friends (or opposite if hot heterosexual)?

[Anonymous]

I’m a woman, I have close relationships with women and men. Challenging to maintain but important.

[Anonymous]

For me it’s pretty just marriage. I have friends I am emotionally close to (women and men) but we see each other maybe once every few years. I don’t think that’s ideal but making friends is hard, and sort of taking them to a deeper level is very hard.

I will say that I wouldn’t have a closer relationship with a man than I would with DH, and I wouldn’t want him to have a closer relationship with a woman than he has with me (I wouldn’t really like that with somebody of any gender but especially not a woman).

But DH and I are very, very close, so that’s not a high bar. He has friends who are women and I think that’s good and healthy.

[Anonymous]

Yes I do. I'm a woman marries to a man, have lots of deep relationships with women friends. men are trickier. I have a couple old friends I still keep in touch with and have meaningful conversations with but maybe a few times a year. Have friendly male acquaintances I chat with throughout the week. but the one time i formed a deep friendship with a man while married (talking for hours about everything) we both developed feelings. Now we don't speak at all, sometimes run into each other but absolutely no planned hanging. I agree that that is tricky.

[Anonymous]

I’m a woman and as I age, I find I am not really into relationships that aren’t authentic. Having a few close friends that you can be vulnerable with and who know the true you and really like that person — it’s an amazing feeling. This is not to say I won’t go out and have fun with acquaintances but I just don’t dump energy into these friendships the way I used to.

I would say I have about seven truly intimate friendships besides that with my spouse. 5 women, 2 men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman and as I age, I find I am not really into relationships that aren’t authentic. Having a few close friends that you can be vulnerable with and who know the true you and really like that person — it’s an amazing feeling. This is not to say I won’t go out and have fun with acquaintances but I just don’t dump energy into these friendships the way I used to.

I would say I have about seven truly intimate friendships besides that with my spouse. 5 women, 2 men.

I’d guess that that’s much higher than the average person has. Good for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a woman and as I age, I find I am not really into relationships that aren’t authentic. Having a few close friends that you can be vulnerable with and who know the true you and really like that person — it’s an amazing feeling. This is not to say I won’t go out and have fun with acquaintances but I just don’t dump energy into these friendships the way I used to.

I would say I have about seven truly intimate friendships besides that with my spouse. 5 women, 2 men.

+1 this is about what I have also, maybe I only talk with half of them on a regular basis but everyone is busy.

[Anonymous]

My marriage and parent/child relationship is such hard work, I don't have enough emotional energy to put into taking any other relationships to great depths. I'm an introvert, and that suits me fine.

[Anonymous]

I have 3 female BFFs and my two sisters all if whom I’m deeply connected to. 1-2 close male friends but the level of connection is different. I’m a woman.

[Anonymous]

For me, it's my wife. I know it becomes a problem lately cause I can't confide other ppl too much and maybe become somehow annoying to my wife. However, she is the one I can confess all my thoughts. This wasn't always like this, because I met her on a https://megapersonals.one/ dating site and I couldn't trust her at all at the beginning thinking our relationships could be a fake. But now everything's changed and I'm happy with that.

[Anonymous]

My wife and I have become more friends than deeply intimate as we age which is a shame. I have about 6-8 close male friends and 2-3 close female friends. Have to be careful with the latter because I have crossed the line before. I don't think close opposite sex friendships are a problem if the marriage is good but if something is lacking, especially sex, it can be a minefield

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I have become more friends than deeply intimate as we age which is a shame. I have about 6-8 close male friends and 2-3 close female friends. Have to be careful with the latter because I have crossed the line before. I don't think close opposite sex friendships are a problem if the marriage is good but if something is lacking, especially sex, it can be a minefield

Crossed the line before?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I have become more friends than deeply intimate as we age which is a shame. I have about 6-8 close male friends and 2-3 close female friends. Have to be careful with the latter because I have crossed the line before. I don't think close opposite sex friendships are a problem if the marriage is good but if something is lacking, especially sex, it can be a minefield

Crossed the line before?

Yes, unfortunately which I why I have to be conscious of the line in the future

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I have become more friends than deeply intimate as we age which is a shame. I have about 6-8 close male friends and 2-3 close female friends. Have to be careful with the latter because I have crossed the line before. I don't think close opposite sex friendships are a problem if the marriage is good but if something is lacking, especially sex, it can be a minefield

Crossed the line before?

Yes, unfortunately which I why I have to be conscious of the line in the future

What happened?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife and I have become more friends than deeply intimate as we age which is a shame. I have about 6-8 close male friends and 2-3 close female friends. Have to be careful with the latter because I have crossed the line before. I don't think close opposite sex friendships are a problem if the marriage is good but if something is lacking, especially sex, it can be a minefield

Crossed the line before?

Yes, unfortunately which I why I have to be conscious of the line in the future

What happened?

Cliche but we were both out with several people, ended up being the last two at the restaurant, shared a ride back together, I walked her to her place, she invited me in. Use your imagination.

Once you break the seal, it's hard to put the lid back on.