Review your elementary school!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child is finishing 5th grade at a Title I school, and I’ve been grateful for the experience—it has challenged many assumptions and biases I may have held going into PK. Like at many Title I elementary schools, the PK class was a very different demographic mix than 5th grade. Between families leaving for the suburbs during COVID, others opting out of upper elementary, and many leaving after 4th grade for charters, it was honestly upsetting at times to see how the community thinned out.

But in the end, my child is doing well both academically and socially, and they’ve had the benefit of a real sense of community throughout their elementary years.

At first, I was surprised by how much segregation existed within the school itself—that was a learning moment for me, and something I’ve worked intentionally to try to bridge. As more White and upper-middle-class families left, my child deepened their relationships with the classmates who remained. Some of those relationships have become close friendships; others are more casual. And yes, there are kids my child says are disruptive or fight too much—but I’ve seen my child develop empathy and learn how to navigate those dynamics, skills I know will serve them well in life.

I also worry about raising an entitled child, given our family’s income and the opportunities we can provide. I believe that being part of a Title I school community has helped instill a real sense of gratitude and perspective in my child—something I value deeply.

For me (and this may not be a popular opinion on DCUM), I also believe it’s important to push back against the constant pursuit of “the best” school, especially when there is a good-enough option right in your own neighborhood. When we always chase what seems "better," we risk teaching our kids that their individual success matters more than contributing to the community around them. Choosing your local school, even when it isn’t perfect, sends a powerful message: that community matters, that showing up matters, and that sometimes the right choice is one that asks us to be a little more selfless—for the good of all kids, not just our own.

Eh, you what else matters? Not being so judgey. School stuff is hard in DC. There aren't a lot of great options. Everyone is trying to make the best possible decision for their children. You went to your local school? Fantastic. But other people weigh things differently, and that's fine. Also, white people sending their kids to black schools is not a form of charity.

Agree.

The comment you are quoting ("when we always chase what is better...") is just... so white. Somehow wanting good schools for our kids is something we need to be ashamed of? And that being a white person at a majority minority school makes you more virtuous somehow?

Please talked to your middle class and UMC black neighbors and see what they think about that. (Spoiler alert -- every single one I know wants to send their kids to the best school they can.) Or think about integration (real integration, in mid 20th century) when Black parents were willing to send their kids into pretty hostile situations in order to get them the best possible education. That was a fight to get their kids the kind of excellence that white kids had access to.

In this weird reverse integration movement, so many things are getting confused -- white parents see their presence as making the school better and forget to focus on the actual resources and teaching.

But school choice creates the dynamic where many families wants to send kids to a majority white environment. UMC black families are honest about why they prefer this, while white parents have to code this desire as something else to avoid being perceived as racist. At the end of the day we have a feeding frenzy of a lottery and endless anxiety. Not sure what the solution is. If we force parity in ES with all schools having to take the same percentage of Title 1 kids many parents will leave.

[Anonymous]

In case the pp that asked some of the original questions comes back and sees this - not sure anyone answered your question about how to have these conversations about race. First, it’s normal to feel hesitant but preschool and K is actually not too young at all to talk about it and you will be surprised at how capable they are at even understanding the systemic pieces. I’ve been talking about it since preschool and my first grader has a pretty solid handle (at the appropriate developmental level) of it now as a result.

Here is my favorite book that will give you language to use: https://a.co/d/hCigXiG
Keep it simple in preschool - Black people and people with darker skin have been treated unfairly in our country and still are sometimes. Only because of the color of their skin. That’s called racism. It’s wrong. It isn’t ok.
That’s the very very basics on racism. But for systemic I literally will say things like if we are in a neighborhood noticing things like, you might notice that the city doesn’t do as much to take care of this neighborhood - remember we talked about how black people have been treated unfairly? They still are sometimes and it affects whether they can get jobs, find healthy food. Etc etc

Your kids notice that there are more Black and brown people who are homeless in our particular areas, if you don’t explain these things they will come up with their own explanation in their head or get it from someone else. So you can start simply helping them understand that there are lots of things in our world that impact those around us in different ways. When we see it in our life we talk about it openly as a family and now our kids get it and can identify it.

For your kindergartner I also highly recommend the following: https://us.yotoplay.com/products/the-extraordinary-lives-audio-collection-1
If you don’t have a yoto I can’t recommend it enough and I truly can’t recommend these yoto cards enough. They do a FANTASTIC job at explaining racism, discrimination, protest so many things and my son loved listening to them and it’s sprinkled in. He learned a lot.

This book is also on police violence, great for kids and has a whole section for parents on how to talk to your kids about these topics and racism etc. https://a.co/d/hacRUvJ

The authors also have one on immigration where a child’s father is arrested by ICE which for the pp who had a heavily Spanish speaking school may be appropriate especially right now: https://a.co/d/g9BISxc

Your child can handle it, I promise. It is better as the parent to be having the conversations than them hearing things at school or seeing things and trying to make sense themselves.

While I’m at it in case helpful to anyone here is my favorite book on food insecurity for kids: https://a.co/d/0ehJZj3

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't believe what booster parents say. Have your antennae up for parents who are willing to be critical of the school. Take it with a grain of salt, but remember that it might be important information.

+1