DD and her friends say I have “bi vibes”

[Anonymous]

I looked at DD’s text messages and apparently she and all her friends agree about the vibes I give off.

I sort of get “bi vibes” but now I want to know what I do that gives off said vibes. Is it the vans? How, specifically, does one give off bi vibes? DD (who is gay) said she didn’t know how to explain it but I just do.

I’m not offended and I know kids these days are a little too plugged into the whole sorting of people based sexuality, but I wear makeup, I have long hair, I don’t cuff my jeans, etc.

[Anonymous]

1. There is no such thing as vibes.

2. Sexuality exists on a spectrum, like do many other traits, and each of us are somewhere on it. Perhaps this changes over time as well.

3. The kids ate also being ridiculous and attach way too much importance to all of this.

[Anonymous]

Haha that THIS generation is obsessed with dieting by sexuality

[Anonymous]

It's a compliment

[Anonymous]

That's cute. It's a compliment.

[Anonymous]

Don't worry about it. My DD's friends think I'm cool. I'm not cool. It doesn't matter what some little girls think. We're adults. We know who we are.

[Anonymous]

Funny that long hair and make up are your arguments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Haha that THIS generation is obsessed with dieting by sexuality

While I haven’t seen the dieting obsession (unless you are referring to an anti-dieting obsession), this is so true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
1. There is no such thing as vibes.

2. Sexuality exists on a spectrum, like do many other traits, and each of us are somewhere on it. Perhaps this changes over time as well.

3. The kids ate also being ridiculous and attach way too much importance to all of this.

there are totally such a thing as vibes. How do you think gay folks sometimes identify each other?

- a longtime lesbian

[Anonymous]

This is funny and I really want to know!

[Anonymous]

I love to teens analyze everyone. Discussing YOUR sexuality! Hilarious. That’s what you get for looking through her texts!

[Anonymous]

cuffing jeans is gay?

[Anonymous]

my trans daughter has told me the same. And I *am* bi, but when she said it I hadn't come out to her (I'm in a committed relationship with her stepdad for life, so it was beside the point until she told me she was trans and we had a big heart to heart). There are such things as vibes, particularly for queer folk in identifying each other. Overall, your DD is likely saying you are cool, accepting of her queer identity, and dress in a way that doesn't embarass her. It's a compliment.

[Anonymous]

Ha I forgot I posted this!

I asked again and she said that a lot of it is my mannerisms. Unless I’m in a professional environment I act a lot younger. She said that nobody would guess I’m almost 40. I also dress young. I don’t like to think much about casual clothes so I just wear jeans (not skinny jeans) and t shirts.

I don’t love hearing that I act like “the cool mom” around her friends (I’ve seen mean girls and I know how not to be!) but I take heart in the fact that I’m very strict with bedtime and chores and homework and such.

[Anonymous]

Oh but I do think it’s a complement! I would rather be told I look and act like the (boundary-enforcing) cool mom than a Karen.