Pressure to stay friends with an old “mom friend” -
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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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Sorry! I hit return too soon.
When I had a newborn, another mom and I joined a meet up and hug put a few times. Our kids are now 3.5. She’s moved slightly out of the area, to provide in-home care to a parent with a terminal diagnosis. My child is in a FT 3’s program in one state, and hers is in PT classes. I work PT but have flexibility. Last, I know she and her partner have had serious relationship problems - she told me this ears ago. We fell out of contact and she’s gotten back in touch, asking me quite a few times to get together just in the last week. I like her but couldn’t make those times, and I still can’t easily, but am worried that he may not have others to connect with. Honestly, high, we are kind of strangers and I’m pretty introverted. I have no idea of what to do as I was sort of fading her out but she keeps texting. What is the best thing to do? |
Anonymous
| Sorry for the hideous typos. Hung out not “hug put,” etc. |
Anonymous
| It may well be that your friend is having a hard time and nobody to talk to about it or needs to talk to someone who is not part of her social group. Regardless I would try to do one get together, because you really don't know what may be going on, and if it turns out to be pointless or she is looking for a friendship you are not willing to maintain, deal with that then. |
Anonymous
| How far apart are you? If it's within reason, I would try to make it happen. Meet for coffee or at the park with your kids. |
Anonymous
| Thanks, guys. We are a couple of hours apart. She was also pressing to meet during school hours, and I’m not going to pull my child for that - which sounds mean but that’s my instinct. I hate to think of her feeling alone or cooped up though - but this is very unequal, I wouldn’t confide in her though I do like her. |
Anonymous
| She’s probably joined an MLM and wants to rope you in. They can be very persistent. |
Anonymous
| I don’t think so, and I’ve listened to all of The Dream. |
Anonymous
| Tell her that you can chat on skype/facetime. Honestly, if you are 2 hrs away for each other, even meeting half way would mean a 2 hr roundtrip in the car. I would do it for a clise friend in the hours convenient for me, but not for a casual friend who moved and faded out. |
Anonymous
| Can she come meet you for coffee during school hours without kids? |
Anonymous
| She can’t. We haven’t texted in at least a year. I haven’t seen her in at least two if not more. She wants to meet me with her child while mine is in school. This is a bit intense for me. |
Anonymous
Hey, things are really hectic right now, unfortunately I can't but feel free to call to chat... Would something like this work? She needs something from you, not sure what, but it's pretty clear there will be a request for something. |
Anonymous
It sounds like she wants to rekindle a friendship. Is she your friend or not? It sounds like you only consider her an acquaintance. I have 3 kids and have made some mom friends over the years. We don’t all keep in touch. If friend wanted to meet up, I would make time for coffee. |
Anonymous
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Tell her it is too difficult to get together during the week, but if she is every in town near you let let you know, and maybe you could get together.
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Anonymous
| I mean, she is a person who is giving full time 24/7 care to a dying parent and has a rocky marriage and moved 2 hours from her social scene. And she has young kids. That has to be isolating and exhausting. You are not responsible for her, but it does seem like she has a lot on her plate, so I can see why she is pushy to try and maintain anything that feels safe and enjoyable to her. If you are not interested, nbd. But, if you like her and want to be a support to someone who is clearly going through a tough time, you give her three times that work for you. You dictate more of the terms. If they don’t work, you tried. |