Son's travel team is awful

[Anonymous]

My 9 year old son is on the C team, which is where he belongs (decent but not affirmatively good). I expected him to be one of the weaker players on the team, but unfortunately, he's not. The entire team is made up of very passive players. We have no one aggressive who can attack and score - it is just endless passing until the other team steals the ball. I am not saying that this is only the fault of the other kids - it is absolutely my son's fault as well because he is just like everyone else on the team. But I don't understand how the league allowed a team to be made up entirely of passive players, without one single aggressive kid. Everyone on the team is getting really depressed because the team is doing awful, even though we only play other C league teams. I don't care about winning tournaments, or even about my son moving up to a better team in the future. I just want this season to be fun for everyone, and for the team to get a bit better and not get completely demolished in every single game. Any thoughts, suggestions, or advice?

[Anonymous]

Go to the games. Cheer for your son. Say nothing. Support the coach in whatever he/she might try to do to better the team. Follow your son's lead for next steps in terms of if he wants to continue.

I was on a truly terrible losing team in high school and this is what my father did. He sat in the stands for every last damn game and smiled and supported me. Now that I am an adult I can see that I'm sure it was complete and utter torture for him. But he did not burden me with that at the time.

It sucks, but learning to lose gracefully and how to handle it is a gift. Some good lessons there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go to the games. Cheer for your son. Say nothing. Support the coach in whatever he/she might try to do to better the team. Follow your son's lead for next steps in terms of if he wants to continue.

I was on a truly terrible losing team in high school and this is what my father did. He sat in the stands for every last damn game and smiled and supported me. Now that I am an adult I can see that I'm sure it was complete and utter torture for him. But he did not burden me with that at the time.

It sucks, but learning to lose gracefully and how to handle it is a gift. Some good lessons there.

I don't really see how this is helpful. High school didn't have any other choices for you and likely this was the end of your sports career. You also say nothing about the coaching. Maybe your school just didn't have good players. These are young players who are missing out on instruction.

[Anonymous]

Offer to assist the coach. Otherwise, sit back, watch the games and let your son have fun playing. He's 9.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go to the games. Cheer for your son. Say nothing. Support the coach in whatever he/she might try to do to better the team. Follow your son's lead for next steps in terms of if he wants to continue.

I was on a truly terrible losing team in high school and this is what my father did. He sat in the stands for every last damn game and smiled and supported me. Now that I am an adult I can see that I'm sure it was complete and utter torture for him. But he did not burden me with that at the time.

It sucks, but learning to lose gracefully and how to handle it is a gift. Some good lessons there.

I don't really see how this is helpful. High school didn't have any other choices for you and likely this was the end of your sports career. You also say nothing about the coaching. Maybe your school just didn't have good players. These are young players who are missing out on instruction.

I read the OP's post as a question about how to handle her son having a losing season and being a part of a team that is not very good. Not about her son getting better coaching or his future as a soccer player. In fact, the OP said very specifically she's not interested in that end of things. She's concerned about how depressing this current season is and what she should do in the here and now. I think my response addresses that. If you have other advice to offer, feel free to share.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go to the games. Cheer for your son. Say nothing. Support the coach in whatever he/she might try to do to better the team. Follow your son's lead for next steps in terms of if he wants to continue.

I was on a truly terrible losing team in high school and this is what my father did. He sat in the stands for every last damn game and smiled and supported me. Now that I am an adult I can see that I'm sure it was complete and utter torture for him. But he did not burden me with that at the time.

It sucks, but learning to lose gracefully and how to handle it is a gift. Some good lessons there.

I was on a winless youth team one season. It is the one season I remember, now that I am an adult. And, the memories are not bad. The boy will be okay as long as he gets the right encouragement--keep hustling and trying your best.

[Anonymous]

Since it’s where he belongs, he’s probably not nearly as bothered by it as you are. One day the team will be frustrated and a leader will emerge.

[Anonymous]

OP, travel soccer is just a way to get you today more money. If you son is having fun, who cares?

[Anonymous]

Then try out for other teams next year

[Anonymous]

That's why they are the C team. Its a money grab.

[Anonymous]

OP here. DS does seem to be having fun even though the team is doing poorly. He likes the other kids on the team, and is getting better at soccer (even though he is still not aggressive enough). I have no aspirations for DS to be a great soccer player in the future, though I'd like him to be able to keep playing travel since he enjoys the more frequent practices and games than rec offers. I guess the situation is just affecting me because two of the kids I drive in carpool were crying after the last game, and I overheard DS telling his sister that their team was terrible and it was hopeless.

[Anonymous]

The writing is on the wall; lower level travel teams exist to extract money from parents in exchange for the travel label.

Why not rec? Lower pressure, lower expectations, lots more fun.

[Anonymous]

My son has been on losing teams before, and really the make-up of the team will change every year, so just hang in there. It sounds like it doesn't bother your son, and it never bothered my son either. I think it affects the parents more than the kids! Just keep cheering him on and don't over-analyze the games with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Offer to assist the coach. Otherwise, sit back, watch the games and let your son have fun playing. He's 9.

No, please don't. From your (OP) post it sounds like the coach is doing just fine. Better than fine actually. If you have a U10 C team capable of "endless passing", that's pretty impressive.

[Anonymous]

Why not rec? Lower pressure, lower expectations, lots more fun.

I have no problem with rec but DS wanted to do travel, and he does really seem happy to go to the more frequent practices, skill clinics etc. He is getting better at soccer, but the problem is that even though he is relatively athletic, he lacks aggression. He likes physical exercise. I think he would be great at something like track and field or swim team, but that's not what he wants to do.