Husband won’t cover up ex girlfriend’s name (tattoo)

Anonymous
They were together for a very long time and have 3 older kids. He got the tattoo when he was 19, he’s 40 now. He claims he just doesn’t know of anything that will cover it but has recently covered up 2 larger tattoos... he also never even mentioned getting my name, after 10 years together.

Does he still love her?
Anonymous
I'd be upset. Get it removed.
Anonymous
So when he was 30 and had THREE kids, you started dating him? How old were you?
Anonymous
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:They were together for a very long time and have 3 older kids. He got the tattoo when he was 19, he’s 40 now. He claims he just doesn’t know of anything that will cover it but has recently covered up 2 larger tattoos... he also never even mentioned getting my name, after 10 years together.

Does he still love her?


We are talking tattoos here, correct? This alone, no. Give no thought. Your situation sounds more complex though though.
Anonymous
One-up her - tell him you want your face on his bicep TOMORROW.

Anonymous
This is why you don't get tattoos and why, if you do, you never get the name of a love interest tattooed on your body.
Anonymous
He probably isn’t still in love with her after 10 years in a new relationship. But this is the mother of his kids and he probably has some level of fondness to her. The tattoo probably reminds him of the good times and his kids.
Anonymous
My initial thought was his kids. I bet they grew up commenting on their mom’s name tattoo and he doesn’t want to erase that. They will ask.
Anonymous
I would take a sharpie and write my own ex’s name in a prominent place every day, especially when I visited with his family or at his place of employment. Good luck with this relationship!
Anonymous
Life is more complicated in a relationship after having children with someone else. It doesn't mean you should be back together with your former long term partner but you also shouldn't erase you're past. Trying to blot out or discredit major parts of your life and cover up tattoos or throw out photos of significant and deeply meaningful and large parts of your life is unhealthy. You have to face and coexist with the pain of what is basically an amputation of a peice of your heart. Pretending it doesn't hurt or isn't complicated is baby stuff and won't fly long term.

Anonymous
Was there any overlap in your relationship with him and her? The dates/age makes me think there may have been.

Anywho, no way in hell would that tattoo be ok. I would feel like he is still holding a torch for her. She probably secretly gloats about it. Let me guess— she’s still single? I can’t imagine him still wearing her name on his body if she is married or in a committed relationship.
Anonymous
So you were ok with this for 10 years and now you are not? What changed?
Anonymous
it's his body, and you have no right to tell him what to do.
Anonymous
For many people, tattoos are kind of a life story. She was a significant person in his life story. Let it go.
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