How to deal with DC's friend's constant label switching

[Anonymous]

My DC is in high school at an area private and identifies as bi. DC's friend first came out to my kid as gay, but has changed labels in terms of gender and sexuality so many times it's hard to keep track. Last night DC came home and said their friend was using a label for their gender that I'd never heard of before. I looked it up and it can't possibly be a real thing outside of Tumblr, and some of the other labels they've used seem really harmful to DC in the long run. DC and I had a discussion about labeling last night after I discovered their friend's label was super specific and unusual, but it's apparently a trend among LGBTQ kids in this age group to use separate labels for who they're attracted to, how that attraction manifests (this can be multiple labels), and how their gender relates to their socioeconomic status/ethnicity/mental illness. Is anyone else dealing with this issue? Is having 4 or 5 labels on gender/sexuality a common thing in this area or is it a sign of bigger problems?
How can I be respectful to DC's friend without acting skeptical?

[Anonymous]

What is the term? I know several people who identify as gender fluid- that sounds similar to what your child’s friend is experiencing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the term? I know several people who identify as gender fluid- that sounds similar to what your child’s friend is experiencing.

It is not gender fluid. I don't want to be super specific as not to out the kid, but it has to do with how their gender relates to their mental illness. Could also be defined as their mental illness IS their gender.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the term? I know several people who identify as gender fluid- that sounds similar to what your child’s friend is experiencing.

It is not gender fluid. I don't want to be super specific as not to out the kid, but it has to do with how their gender relates to their mental illness. Could also be defined as their mental illness IS their gender.

I'm guessing "otherkin" or something like that.

[Anonymous]

Lesbian mom of a 16 year old son (straight as far as I know). What you’ve described sounds more like a teen trying to figure out who he/she/They is/are. LIKE MOST TEENS. They’re experimenting with language and identity.

Not sure what you need to know to “deal with this issue.” Just nod, smile and ask if they want some chocolate chip cookies when they visit your house. Ask how English class is going and what their plans for the summer are.

[Anonymous]

Come on, OP, you know what this situation merits:

An eye-roll.

Period. Tell your kid not to go down that rabbit-hole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lesbian mom of a 16 year old son (straight as far as I know). What you’ve described sounds more like a teen trying to figure out who he/she/They is/are. LIKE MOST TEENS. They’re experimenting with language and identity.

Not sure what you need to know to “deal with this issue.” Just nod, smile and ask if they want some chocolate chip cookies when they visit your house. Ask how English class is going and what their plans for the summer are.

Agree. Also, with all the raging hormones of the teen years, gender and sexuality can seem like THE MOST IMPORTANT THING about themselves to teens. So there can be a lot of pressure because they think they need to get it All Figured Out on those fronts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the term? I know several people who identify as gender fluid- that sounds similar to what your child’s friend is experiencing.

It is not gender fluid. I don't want to be super specific as not to out the kid, but it has to do with how their gender relates to their mental illness. Could also be defined as their mental illness IS their gender.

How would you out the kid by posting it here? Do we know him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the term? I know several people who identify as gender fluid- that sounds similar to what your child’s friend is experiencing.

It is not gender fluid. I don't want to be super specific as not to out the kid, but it has to do with how their gender relates to their mental illness. Could also be defined as their mental illness IS their gender.

I'm guessing "otherkin" or something like that.

OP here; yes something similar to that.

[Anonymous]

Some teenagers figure out their sexual orientation and/or gender identity early on, some take longer. Just nod, smile, and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the term? I know several people who identify as gender fluid- that sounds similar to what your child’s friend is experiencing.

It is not gender fluid. I don't want to be super specific as not to out the kid, but it has to do with how their gender relates to their mental illness. Could also be defined as their mental illness IS their gender.

I'm guessing "otherkin" or something like that.

OP here; yes something similar to that.

Now we all know who it is. You shouldn’t post stuff like that.

[Anonymous]

I would only be concerned if the labels linked to a harmful online subculture or one where they might be exposed to predators.

Otherwise, just sounds like this is a kid with some struggles, not really related to sexuality at all.

[Anonymous]

Is this really so burdensome to you? Do your best, if you get the term wrong say "thanks for reminding me, I'll get it next time!" and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the term? I know several people who identify as gender fluid- that sounds similar to what your child’s friend is experiencing.

It is not gender fluid. I don't want to be super specific as not to out the kid, but it has to do with how their gender relates to their mental illness. Could also be defined as their mental illness IS their gender.

I'm guessing "otherkin" or something like that.

OP here; yes something similar to that.

Now we all know who it is. You shouldn’t post stuff like that.

OP never said that DC's friend was a school friend or is even in high school. Could be a college kid from another state for all I know...

[Anonymous]

How is this something that you need to deal with?