Please tell me your kinda friendless teenager...

[Anonymous]

Turned out ok. Made friends in college, doesn't hate him/her self.

I just often worry about my DC. My kid has kids to sit with at lunch, but almost nothing outside school. I wish I could fix things.

[Anonymous]

My kid is the same way

[Anonymous]

Hi, Op

Have you asked your kid if they are unhappy? I was that kid in that I was happy to go home and be with my family. I had a long commute to school and had friends at school but preferred to be by myself. Now I am an adult and I have friends that I have lunch/coffee/movies but I still like to be home with my family. If my child was unhappy I would try to help but if they are fine than I wouldn't worry!

[Anonymous]

my brother never had friends as a teenager. He sat and read books. Lots and lots of them. I can't remember him ever having a friend over or going out with a friend. EVER. He really never left the house outside of school (and church when my parents made him).

Then he went to college (at age 17) and he blossomed. He became quite charismatic and developed many different friendships. He ended up going to medical school and is quite successful. He has friends all over the place and is in a leadership position at work. He's also happily married (he never dated in high school either).

Sometimes it just takes time for people to mature socially.

[Anonymous]

I was like this. Just an introvert/loaner/didn't click with high school kids at my school. Turned out great . Spouse, kids, good profession, etc. Just had to find "my people," which I easily did in college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my brother never had friends as a teenager. He sat and read books. Lots and lots of them. I can't remember him ever having a friend over or going out with a friend. EVER. He really never left the house outside of school (and church when my parents made him).

Then he went to college (at age 17) and he blossomed. He became quite charismatic and developed many different friendships. He ended up going to medical school and is quite successful. He has friends all over the place and is in a leadership position at work. He's also happily married (he never dated in high school either).

Sometimes it just takes time for people to mature socially.

Not OP, but this gives me hope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my brother never had friends as a teenager. He sat and read books. Lots and lots of them. I can't remember him ever having a friend over or going out with a friend. EVER. He really never left the house outside of school (and church when my parents made him).

Then he went to college (at age 17) and he blossomed. He became quite charismatic and developed many different friendships. He ended up going to medical school and is quite successful. He has friends all over the place and is in a leadership position at work. He's also happily married (he never dated in high school either).

Sometimes it just takes time for people to mature socially.

Not OP, but this gives me hope.

High school is punishing as hell for a lot of teens. I wouldn't worry too much at this point, unless DC appears unhappy about it. I love you both for being concerned - so many parents might not notice.

[Anonymous]

OP here-- thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Turned out ok. Made friends in college, doesn't hate him/her self.

I just often worry about my DC. My kid has kids to sit with at lunch, but almost nothing outside school. I wish I could fix things.

Try not to worry! My son is the same way. Since he has friends at school - and he seems happy - I figure he's doing OK. To be sure, my son gets his energy by being alone (he reads, daydreams, and does other things; he's not a big gamer).

[Anonymous]

I remember my 10th High School reunion. So many of the people that were "quiet" in high school were certainly successful, outgoing and living very full lives.

[Anonymous]

My DS is like this. He seems to have friends at school, he mentions them occasionally, and one of them works at the same place as well. But we've never met any of them. They've never come to the house and I can count on one hand the number of times this school year he's gone out to meet any of them. He doesn't seem "close" with any if them. He's never had a girlfriend (or a boyfriend for that matter).

He does well in school, but isn't having a "punishing" high school experience, at all. He is involved in one school activity that involves once a month meetings and he has a volunteer gig two afternoons a week and a part time job on Sunday afternoons. He goes for a 3 mile run (alone or with me) 3 times a week. Other than that, he's at home. He likes to read, follows politics and current events very closely (reads the NYT and the WaPo cover to cover each day), and enjoys cooking. No gaming. He helps out around the house quite a bit. He seems to really enjoy spending time with his family. He's a model kid in many ways. He seems very happy. I worry, lol.

I'm really hoping he finds his people in college. I worry about this a lot. In fact, it's the only thing I worry about with him. He has an incredibly solid head on his shoulders and is totally *ready* to go to college. I'm just so afraid he will be lonely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DS is like this. He seems to have friends at school, he mentions them occasionally, and one of them works at the same place as well. But we've never met any of them. They've never come to the house and I can count on one hand the number of times this school year he's gone out to meet any of them. He doesn't seem "close" with any if them. He's never had a girlfriend (or a boyfriend for that matter).

He does well in school, but isn't having a "punishing" high school experience, at all. He is involved in one school activity that involves once a month meetings and he has a volunteer gig two afternoons a week and a part time job on Sunday afternoons. He goes for a 3 mile run (alone or with me) 3 times a week. Other than that, he's at home. He likes to read, follows politics and current events very closely (reads the NYT and the WaPo cover to cover each day), and enjoys cooking. No gaming. He helps out around the house quite a bit. He seems to really enjoy spending time with his family. He's a model kid in many ways. He seems very happy. I worry, lol.

I'm really hoping he finds his people in college. I worry about this a lot. In fact, it's the only thing I worry about with him. He has an incredibly solid head on his shoulders and is totally *ready* to go to college. I'm just so afraid he will be lonely.

Meant to add that his social skills are excellent. He's a great conversationalist and isn't at all shy. People seem to like him. But no close friends.

[Anonymous]

I was a very late bloomer, as was DH. Read all through high school, like a PP's brother. Was not interested in boys at that age, or clothes, or any of the TV shows my friends watched.

I woke up in college, and am a well-adjusted married parent of two.

I still love to read, and am apparently raising two of the world's worst bookworms! I can follow their trail with the books they strew in the house...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi, Op

Have you asked your kid if they are unhappy? I was that kid in that I was happy to go home and be with my family. I had a long commute to school and had friends at school but preferred to be by myself. Now I am an adult and I have friends that I have lunch/coffee/movies but I still like to be home with my family. If my child was unhappy I would try to help but if they are fine than I wouldn't worry!

Thanks. (Not OP, but this is my kid). I sometimes struggle to remember that what makes me happy isn't what makes him happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was like this. Just an introvert/loaner/didn't click with high school kids at my school. Turned out great . Spouse, kids, good profession, etc. Just had to find "my people," which I easily did in college

People who couldn't spell loner, loner?