Skipping Mass before the Baptism?

[Anonymous]

My DH and I are my niece's godparents for her Baptism on Sunday. My mom just told me that my brother and SIL don't plan to have any of us attend the Mass beforehand because it's during my niece's nap. She's 9 and a half months if that is relevant. There are about ten people attending.

My mom is really bothered by skipping the Mass because she thinks it will be obvious to the priest and look bad, and also, if they are serious about baptizing my niece, skipping the Mass is not getting her off on the right path, so to speak. I don't even think it's logistically possible to skip the Mass beforehand, and more importantly, I do agree about the religious aspect. While my brother and SIL don't regularly attend church, they do want to give my niece the option of having a religious life. In the Catholic Church, Baptism is a big deal, so if they care enough to do it, I think sitting through the Mass for 45 minutes isn't a big deal.

My brother has a really short fuse with my mom, so she is afraid to say anything and wants me to do it. DH and I agree with her, and I'm willing to take the hit (reluctantly), but before we make a federal case about this, what do you guys think?

Thanks for your input!

[Anonymous]

Obviously their parish runs things quite differently if they are able to physically skip the Mass and somehow still slide in for the actual baptism. The last 10 baptisms I've attended, the parents, god parents, and baby all sat in the front pews the entire Mass.

[Anonymous]

That seems tacky bordering on unacceptable to me. Has the priest signed off on this?!

[Anonymous]

As her godparent, do you care about their blowing off the mass enough to make a stand?
If yes, express your opinion to your brother once and let the outcome go.
If it's only a matter of your mom triangulating, and you don't care whether they go or not, don't do your moms dirty work. It isn't healthy.

[Anonymous]

This wouldn't fly at our Episcopal parish, mainly because everyone from the family is in the front rows for the baptism and the priest is usually so excited he references the about-to-be baptized baby during the homily and/or during other liturgical prayers. Baptism also happens post-homily and pre-Eucharist. It would be super awkward for the family not to be there. I might mention it in this context to your brother - i.e. how would logistics work if they're not there for the Mass ahead of time?

[Anonymous]

OP here - thanks for your responses.

I found out about this today and haven't talked to my brother yet, so I don't know if the priest has signed off on it but I am almost positive no. I also agree that physically skipping the mass seems logistically impossible.

You make a great point about my mom trying to triangulate. I'm pretty annoyed about that because she also cares and I am sure she won't back me up if I say something.

That said, I do care enough to at least mention it to him and then let it go if they don't want to listen. I don't have kids yet - we're currently struggling with infertility - and I have a feeling my brother will dismiss it as "you don't get how important a nap is because you don't have a baby." Maybe I will be surprised!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks for your responses.

I found out about this today and haven't talked to my brother yet, so I don't know if the priest has signed off on it but I am almost positive no. I also agree that physically skipping the mass seems logistically impossible.

You make a great point about my mom trying to triangulate. I'm pretty annoyed about that because she also cares and I am sure she won't back me up if I say something.

That said, I do care enough to at least mention it to him and then let it go if they don't want to listen. I don't have kids yet - we're currently struggling with infertility - and I have a feeling my brother will dismiss it as "you don't get how important a nap is because you don't have a baby." Maybe I will be surprised!

Isn't it a mortal sin to miss mass. How can you be godparents if you're not in a state of grace?

[Anonymous]

Missing Mass is a venial sin. Not a mortal one.

[Anonymous]

I guess, OP, my other question would be how much prep you had to put into being approved as godparents. We had to attend 2 classes and bring a letter from our pastor that we were in good standing (attend Mass, aren't remarried without an annulment).

[Anonymous]

Are they baptizing her after mass or during mass? If it is after mass, then you're probably ok. Maybe you all went to 5 on Saturday or are going to the 12 after the baptism.

If it is during mass, it just isn't possible to skip the mass. At our parish, they intersperse the baptism throughout the mass.

[Anonymous]

I was a Catholic godparent last year. The soon to be baptized babies were paraded down the aisle at the beginning of mass and then we sat in the front pew. Mass was short as the baptism was a large part of the mass.

[Anonymous]

Most of the time we miss the mass for a baptism. We go to our church for mass. Baptism is a separate ceremony and not part of the mass. Non-Catholics are not expected to attend mass.

[Anonymous]

OP again - We didn't have to do much - just provide a letter that we are in good standing. It's after the Mass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Missing Mass is a venial sin. Not a mortal one.

Since when? I was told I'd go straight to hell if I missed mass. Plus this link indicates it's still a mortal sin http://catholicherald.com/stories/Is-Missing-Mass-a-Mortal-Sin,6449

Besides, it's pretty bad for parents and godparent to purposely commit a any kind ofl sin the morning that another Catholic is being brought into the fold.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most of the time we miss the mass for a baptism. We go to our church for mass. Baptism is a separate ceremony and not part of the mass. Non-Catholics are not expected to attend mass.

fain if you're not the godparents, but the godparents and parents should be there FOR THE MASS.