High-priced babysitter...Is that all these private schools are?

[Anonymous]

Before I'm attacked, I am one of these parents about to pay for private school, starting at age 3/4. I guess because this is my first year, I'm looking at the tuition saying, "what am I doing?" Granted, I love the school, & it meets everything we're looking for, but seriously, at age 3/4, isn't 20K+ a bit ridiculous? That seems to be the going rate for DC private schools. Of course, my DS is worth every cent I have. But, for those of you who've been doing it, tell me what you're getting for your money at that age? I guess it's just new private school parent jitters..

[Anonymous]

We had our kids at a daycare/pre-school program and then went to a private pre-k + school often referenced in this forum. Expensive, yes, but U cannot imagine a better outcome. Absolutely worth every penny in terms of the foundation for learning, and loving to learn.

[Anonymous]

Our daughter attended a relatively low-profile preschool that left her very well prepared for kindergarten. She is now in K at a private school, and for us it's well worth the money. She is learning just as much or more in reading and math as friends in public schools in DC & MoCo even though her school devotes far more time to music, art, PE, etc., and the classes are significantly smaller. So, based on our experience alone, I'm not sure you're getting that much more at 3/4, but you are at least buying an option for the later years.

[Anonymous]

OP, your thoughts are completely rationale and very common among all private school parents. Logically, of course, it is ridiculous for anyone (even the super wealthy) to pay $20K for a 4 year old child's "education." I've found that I can never justify in my mind rationally, so I've just had to sort of let go of that part of it, if you know what I mean. We've loved our son's first year in a private school Pre-K, which is all I can hope for. Was it worth $20,000, even at this great level? Probably not, but here we are going back for more next year. I take some grounding in all of this by constantly reminding myself that it's not a life-time commitment. You can reassess the situation on a yearly basis and if it ever becomes clear that it's REALLY too much, we can always leave.

[Anonymous]

Good independent schools know how to go gradually from warm comfort to increasingly rigorous academics in a way that makes emotional, psychological, and pedagogical sense. You and your child may not even explicitly notice that progression. Plus, you've already survived the application process!

[Anonymous]

Regardless of where you live, you are already paying taxes for his/her education. Assuming you live in-boundary for a relatively good school, it does not make huge economic sense to pay 20K+ (and likely closer to 30K by K) for Pre-school/Pre-K. The marginal difference between a good private school and a good public school at that age are not that big. You will likely get better facilities, smaller class size, more of some specials (foreign language, science, etc.) and a few other perks with that 20K+. But these are supplementable with private lessons, outside classes and other things.

Speaking from experience, we have done the private school route with DC1 and having seen the benefits (which we appreciate and value), we are still not convinced that this is worth the extra costs in elementary school. We will most likely not consider private school for DC2 until closer to middle school. I think alot of academic benefits begin in 4th grade and above, assuming a good private or public school has already instilled a love of learning in the children in the early years.

That said, if money is no object, then by all means, go for a private school now and stay until 12th grade. That way, you don't have to worry about testing and what not to get in later on.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good independent schools know how to go gradually from warm comfort to increasingly rigorous academics in a way that makes emotional, psychological, and pedagogical sense. You and your child may not even explicitly notice that progression. Plus, you've already survived the application process!

This is exactly what we saw. Our older child, who is now in a grade, started Pre-K at a well-known private for which we paid 25k/year (ouch!). Now, several years later, I see that the school created an intellectually, socially and emotionally nurturing environment as a foundation. My DC1 is doing very well academically by all accounts, but most importantly for us, she is genuinely curious and seems on a path to enjoying learning for the long haul.

[Anonymous]

PP, was your child curious before they went to school? I ask because DC is already intellectually curious before hitting preschool. After having a child, nature has much more impact than I thought it would (as opposed to nurture) on a child's development.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, was your child curious before they went to school? I ask because DC is already intellectually curious before hitting preschool. After having a child, nature has much more impact than I thought it would (as opposed to nurture) on a child's development.

All children are curious (and if they aren't, that's a problem). However, the public schools tend to knock the curiousity right out of them and pretty damn quick. I think any school is worth its weight in gold if a child still has an interest in going to school past 3rd grade or so.

[Anonymous]

To the OP, did you really expect any posters to say, "hell, no"? Anyone paying that much has to convince themselves every single day that its worth it. It helps them justify the decision and it makes them feel better about themselves...and makes them feel like their child is special.

To the person who said public school kicks the curiosity out of kids, from what experience are you talking? That's a pretty sweeping and ignorant statement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the OP, did you really expect any posters to say, "hell, no"? Anyone paying that much has to convince themselves every single day that its worth it. It helps them justify the decision and it makes them feel better about themselves...and makes them feel like their child is special.

To the person who said public school kicks the curiosity out of kids, from what experience are you talking? That's a pretty sweeping and ignorant statement.

OP, here. Actually, the posters were very helpful, & pretty honest about THEIR reasons for going private. It's also clear that we've all admitted the tuition can be a little excessive, but worth it to US for whatever reason. Thus, why I've chosen that route. All of our kids are special, & just so you know, I personally, don't need to choose private school to know that. So, while the comment about public schools may be generalizing a bit, the first part your comment regarding 'feeling better about ourselves' is no less filled with venom. Thank you to the other posters.

[Anonymous]

OP again. Also, FOR ME, & let me emphasize the "for me" part, I went to EVERY open house available in DC both private, charter, & public, & again "for me", there were no public schools that compared to a majority of the private schools that I visited, everything from the facilites to the curriculum, to the approach to educating. So, while I'm not thrilled about the attached price tag, & I feel confident in saying, I doubt any private school parent is "thrilled" with the price tags, it came down to being worth if for me.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the point that kids start out curious and schools often manage to kill that curiosity. But I just don't think that public vs. private is the relevant distinction among curiosity-fostering and curiosity-destroying schools.

Re whether it's worth the money. Depends on how much you have and what else you might spend it on! And how much better you think that a particular school is for your DC compared to less costly alternatives. Some privates I'd pay for; others wouldn't be worth it to me. Same with college.

I've got no qualms about what we pay/have paid for DD's private school. But we're affluent and we only have one kid, so it's not a major sacrifice for us. If we had 3 kids or less money, we might well choose public (though we'd probably move out of DC). If our DD were a different kid, we might also make a different school choice.

These are "there's no one right answer" kind of questions. But yeah, private school tuition is shocking, especially because you're already paying for public schools as well. Public school education may well cost as much per pupil (when capital projects and administrative overhead are factored in), but you don't get a separate bill (and non-users can't opt out, so costs are spread more broadly), so it's not as apparent.

From a cost standpoint, I bet PreK/K is more expensive (class size, dedicated bathrooms and playgrounds) than upper elementary, so maybe it's 5th grade tuition we should question!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP, was your child curious before they went to school? I ask because DC is already intellectually curious before hitting preschool. After having a child, nature has much more impact than I thought it would (as opposed to nurture) on a child's development.

I'm the PP 13:03. Yes, my child was curious before Pre-K (had gone to preschool already), also creative and interested in the world around. I think that describe most kids, though. What I see at our private school is that the teachers (because of smaller class size, more support from the school, lack of burden of standardized testing) are able to engage that curiosity rather than lose those teachable moments out of a need to prep for a standardized test or attempt to keep track of the 28th kid in the classroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the OP, did you really expect any posters to say, "hell, no"? Anyone paying that much has to convince themselves every single day that its worth it. It helps them justify the decision and it makes them feel better about themselves...and makes them feel like their child is special.

To the person who said public school kicks the curiosity out of kids, from what experience are you talking? That's a pretty sweeping and ignorant statement.

I will say it, "hell no" it is not worth 20+K/yr for pre-k but we are doing it. I don't need to convince myself that it's worth it because it isn't. We can afford it, our in-bound school is not an option and well... I just want my kid to go to private school period. FWIW, we got into a really good DCPS oob. It was a tough decision to forego the opportunity (free, great school, good test scores, small class sizes, etc...) and I think my kid would have done great there.