25yo female - Sex and dating multiple men?
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Anonymous
| I am a nanny from the nanny forum ( yes I look at this forum) and I figured I would get some good opinions. I am a 25 year old attractive female. I've had three boyfriends but have been single for the past year and some months. Between FT work and grad school, my social life suffered a bit. Now it's the summer and I've been dating ( not sleeping) around. I know there is a huge double standard regarding dating multiple men. I'm really not sure if I am interested in a relationship at this point. I was talking to a few friends ( male & female) and they were saying how I'm going to be labeled a slut, etc. I have an older friend ( male) who thinks I should go out and dare around. He said I should experience things while I'm young. Part of me feels guilty and the other part is wanting to go out and experience as much as possible. Tell me your thoughts and opinions on dating multiple men casually and sex with one or maybe more. I don't have much sexual experience and really want to explore that. What is your take on this? I'm looking for answers mostly from mature adults. |
Anonymous
How are all these people going to know how many people you're sleeping with unless you tell them? |
Anonymous
Male here, my honest advice: You should date multiple men and sleep with them if you are comfortable doing so. It's not about racking up partners but discovering what you like and don't like so you can make a good choice if you want to get married one day. Nothing wrong with dating two men at the same time as long as you aren't lying to either. Your next 2-5 years are your prime years to "discover" yourself. Don't waste time in dead end relationships, i.e. don't casually date someone you don't really love for years just because it's comfortable or you are scared of being single. If you are interested in marriage and family, keep your radar open for a good one if he should come along. The dating market is heavily in your favor now but it won't be in 7-10 years. |
Anonymous
| 38, Female here. Explore. Find out now what you like and don't like in all aspects of a relationship. So that your health is not in danger. You may want to pick one guy that you are really into, stay in a relationship for a while and sexually explore with him, instead of a few men at once. |
Anonymous
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OP here. I've only had sex with two of my bfs. I would like to experience other men but not like 40 or 50. Maybe 5 or so. I don't want to feel like I am missing something when I at married or settle down. Of course I'd be upfront with any of the men. Is it nasty to sleep with more than one person at the same time ( not together). I don't want to run the risk of dating and it leading into a relationship and the guy end up hurt. I hate hurting people and would rather be upfront. I do wmay marriage&family, but not for a good 5-7 years.
I want to date around but not sleep with every man I date. More like go on a few dates, have fun for a few months, move on to next and repeat. Definitely going to picky about who the guy is though. Very worried about my health and pregnancy risks. |
Anonymous
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Use protection, get tested, have backup birth control ALWAYS (e.g., use BC pills AND a condom).
No reason not to sow your wild oats. Slut-shaming is stupid and you should ignore that double standard. And it's nobody's business but yours how many people you've slept with. Just have fun -- if you're not having fun, don't do it. |
Anonymous
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Honestly, I think you do what YOU are comfortable with and worry less about what you think other people expect/want of you. If you are not comfortable having multiple partners in a short time frame, then don't. You can keep things a bit more casual with all of them, or with all but one, until you figure out who you like best, if any of them. Or sleep with all of them, if that's cool with you.
the PP's are right - this is the time of your life when you figure out this stuff. It's ok to make a few mistakes. Just be safe about it, ok? Herpes is forever. 
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Anonymous
| OP here. I know taking precautions is the most important. Condoms and BC a must! I find myself wanting to try not only different men, but men with varying sizes. |
Anonymous
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You are not going to know their size unless you are ready to have sex.
I was a virgin when I met DH. He wanted me to date other men so I wouldnt have regrets. I didnt date others and I have no regrets. Why go out for a hamburger when you already have steak? -Paul Newman. By the way, I am 35, and I met my DH @ 25. |
Anonymous
| Why not get to know people without the sex? |
Anonymous
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I agree that at your age, 25 you should experience dating different men since you are still young and not in any hurry yet to settle down.
At this age, it is ideal to see what is out there + decide exactly what you want in a potential partner. You need to figure out what is important to you, what are deal-breakers to you as well as what types of personalities you tend to have the best chemistry with. And as long as you protect yourself from unwanted pregnancy and sexual disease, what you do w/your body is your own choice. No one but YOU has any right to dictate what goes on in your private life. Then when you are in your thirties, you can use your experience to figure out exactly what you want/need in a life partner and hopefully will be in a much better position to make a decision than those that didn't take the time to date around. Hope this helps out and adds a bit of clarity OP! 
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Anonymous
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Got for it.
The only thing I'll say is that I tried that at your age, maybe a little younger. And found while it was lots of fun dating two or three guys at a time, I didn't like being physically intimate with more than one at once. It didn't even get to the point of having sex. I didn't like making out with two different guys. Different kissing, different feel to their arms, etc. That weirded me out somehow. Serial monogamy is best for for me. So you might experience something similar - I wasn't expecting to feel that way. But to have that intense, blow-your-mind, amazing sexual relationship where you explore like crazy is NOT to be missed. |
Anonymous
| Just try not to get too much experience, because it is hard to settle down with one person and not pine away for all that action at some point. While it may help spice things up in your marriage, it may be what causes you to look elsewhere. |
Anonymous
+1M explore now. |
Anonymous
You should be in the explicit section because you are trying to take your post to another level. |