Toddler saying he's a "bad boy"

[Anonymous]

"Normal" means common and not unhealthy. Sorry, but that is not normal. Where do you see it "quite often" ? Again, I've never heard a kid say they want to die or kill themselves. Never even heard of a kid saying it.

[Anonymous]

He says that because someone had told him he is a bad boy.
Watch the staff at the daycare.

[Anonymous]

I'm a nanny of a wonderful 3 year old & today he kept saying he's not a good boy. What should I do to help him. I asked questions because he's in pre-k but he kept say he's not a good boy but a bad boy. How can I help with this.

[Anonymous]

I'm a nanny of a wonderful 3 year old & today he kept saying he's not a good boy. What should I do to help him. I asked questions because he's in pre-k but he kept say he's not a good boy but a bad boy. How can I help with this.

[Anonymous]

These were literally my first words! I don’t think about it much, but it comes up every once in a while and we all laugh about it… I actually always thought it was kind of cool.

Never occurred to me it was a bad thing. Though I guess I see why people might think so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very normal for young children to do this. It's normal for kids to say they are bad, they want to die or they want to kill themselves.

It is absolutely not normal or typical of a 2 yr old to say they want to die or kill themselves.

There may be a few who are aware of a family member or friend who died or did kill themselves who might then think about that or say it but even then the child should not know someone killed themselves so that's on the parents. Even if a 2 yr old had a family member die they still would have very little understanding of what that means other than they are no longer around. Even then the only reason they might say they want to die would be to be with the one who died because they missed them.

You are attributing thoughts and behaviors to very young kids when it is simply not normal. Maybe at age five or older but not two.

[Anonymous]

Hi op, this happened to us right around the same age and it turned out it wasn’t our home daycare provider. I finally overheard my older sons friend who lived a few doors down say it to my younger son and realized that is where he heard it. I told the neighbor to cut it out and then heard him do it again another week and gave him a pretty stern this must stop discussion.

For our son - it passed. The less big deal we made out of it the less he said it. So I would say oh sweetie no one is a bad or good we’re all just doing our best. Because getting him away from the dichotomy (if I’m not bad I’m good, if I’m not being “good” then I must be bad) helped. It took time but we kept just saying we don’t say bad boy or good boy in our house. You’re just M and we love you. If he made a mistake and said it we would sing the Daniel tiger song - it’s ok to make a mistake try to fix it and learn something new. Both my kids have liked that. Anyway I’m sure someone will give me flack for these responses because dcum but that’s what worked for us!

[Anonymous]

Oh god I just responded to a 2014 thread. Why oh why do people keep resurrecting these old threads?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. Thanks. We asked the daycare provider if she ever called him a bad boy and she said no. Will have to speak to her about this again and then consider changing daycares if it continues.

Get him out of that daycare.

Do not wait.

Sorry OP but something is not right. I am not an alarmist.
Something feels wrong with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very normal for young children to do this. It's normal for kids to say they are bad, they want to die or they want to kill themselves.

Whaaaat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. Thanks. We asked the daycare provider if she ever called him a bad boy and she said no. Will have to speak to her about this again and then consider changing daycares if it continues.

Get him out of that daycare.

Do not wait.

Sorry OP but something is not right. I am not an alarmist.
Something feels wrong with this.

Since OP’s kid is now 12 or 13, we actually have an interesting opportunity here.

OP, if you’re still around: Did being called a “bad boy” at 2 destroy your kid’s self-esteem and plague him for life, as the DCUM consensus suggested it would?

[Anonymous]

Obviously it's the daycare worker calling him that. Find a new daycare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These were literally my first words! I don’t think about it much, but it comes up every once in a while and we all laugh about it… I actually always thought it was kind of cool.

Never occurred to me it was a bad thing. Though I guess I see why people might think so.

How has therapy helped you over the years?