Touchy teacher … okay or creepy?
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Anonymous
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That is very inappropriate and needs to stop. Doesn’t matter if your DD is “ok w it.” Totally not ok. middle and high school teachers should not be touching their students at all. Elementary teachers it’s more understandable as kids are more touchy feely but even in elem, any hug or high five or whatever should be student initiated not teacher initiated and teachers shouldn’t be rubbing students’ backs at any age.
-middle & high school teacher. We are trained in this topic and our admin is very clear “no touching and if a student touches you, stop them.” |
Anonymous
I would tell the principal exactly what you wrote here. The teacher shouldn’t be touching students OR parents. It’s inappropriate in both cases. |
Anonymous
Tell the principal you were uncomfortable with the arm squeezing and that led you to ask your daughter about inappropriate touching and that your daughter told you about back rubs. Tell the principal that you think both touches, especially rubbing students’ backs is totally inappropriate and ask the principal what will be done to address your concern. (I would hope the principal will take this seriously enough w/o needing to include this last part but make sure the principal knows you expect an answer as to how this will be addressed so they don’t just brush you off.) |
Anonymous
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Pat or rub? How old is your kid and does she know the difference?
Anyway teach her how to give the look and wince that says “get your fncking hands off me” without even saying it and to escalate by throwing her elbow up and shouting “hey” whenever anyone gets too handsy |
Anonymous
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The fact is this teacher is grooming students. The principal will only protect the staff. You are naive to believe your letter will be welcome. You will go on the “trouble-maker” list. Perhaps consult a lawyer friend.
Get to know the other parents so eventually you can compare notes about this teacher’s grooming actions. Definitely tell your daughter the teacher has NO business rubbing her back, other even touching her in any way. Did other students see this, or does the teacher do it in private? Does he do it to other students? Just fyi, pedophiles tend to target children with absentee fathers. What he did to you was a HUGE red flag. This wasn’t the first time he’s tried to groom the mother of a student he’s been inappropriately touching. Keep your radar on high alert. |
Anonymous
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I was touched by a molester.
No one should be touched, doesn't matter if you were not molested as a child or not. Many Men molest and rape. They touch and if you don't like it then talk to the Principal. Principal will tell him to keep his hands to himself We tell children to keep hands to themselves. Too. As for adults, we don't know really the intentions of some men, even women who hates you will touch your arm and it's uncomfortable. Many people touches and wants more than that |
Anonymous
| Tell your daughter to say DON'T TOUCH ME loud so everyone hears it |
Anonymous
| That will make him stop touching her |
Anonymous
Last time I was teaching we were told many times to give a high five or a fist bumps or a sideways hug. We were also educated that if a child touches you, for example touches your feet while sitting on the rug that you should stop that type of behavior too. We always teach about thinking about your personal bubble and that no one should be inside it. On the other hand, I come from from a very hugging and rubbing your back/head type of family. But at school? No, this person should know better! |
Anonymous
All of this. We had a similar situation. Tried to raise the issue w school, and it quickly became clear that I was seen as a troublemaker. I began to doubt myself (after all, nothing illegal had happened, maybe I was just being crazy, maybe my kid was just difficult, other kids liked this teacher, and besides, what if I’m wrong, an accusation like this is not something to throw around casually, this could ruin his life and maybe it’s nothing, etc etc). I made sure my kid never went to talk to him alone, but I also backed off. Turns out all sorts of other parents had concerns, though I didn’t know this until later. A year or so later, he raped a different student and was eventually arrested. He’d groomed the mom, as well as the child. Made the mom believe he was on her side, an ally at a time when she really needed one. The kid was 13. He was…60? Every day I wish I’d been louder, less hesitant. Trust those instincts. Yes, they’ll call you a troublemaker. Don’t let them make you doubt yourself. Keep talking. Keep asking questions. Pay attention. Read about grooming — the little jokes, the bonding, the way predators play kids off of one another, etc. Document everything. Good luck. |
Anonymous
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Your child is more protected if HE knows that SHE knows boundaries (and not only boundaries but that she knows all).
Predators go after kids who don’t know. Not always. But lowest hanging opportunity, someone who may not have an adult to stand up for them. Make sure he knows that SHE knows. She needs to call him out HARD if he lays a finger on her. |
Anonymous
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Molestation victim here—
Get your kid away from that creep IMMEDIATELY. And notify the principal. |
Anonymous
| Any male teacher who touches children these days has something seriously wrong with him. There is so much danger in doing that and all the teachers know it. If he still does it it should be a huge red flag about that guy. |
Anonymous
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Please call the principal and request that your child be moved to another class immediately. Follow up by contacting the principal’s supervisor. This is not okay at all.
-teacher |
Anonymous
This is pretty much what any anti-abuse training will teach a normal adult to do. I cannot imagine a modern school doesn't run some sort of anti-abuse training, which means the teacher is violating policy if they aren't limiting contact to things like pats on the shoulder and brief side hugs. |