Thumb & finger sucking in toddlerhood = unaddressed trauma?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is what our Peditrician just told us at our 2 year well visit.

He said all was well but to get DD to a pediatric dentist due to concerns teeth and jaw alignment. He noticed she had her two fingers hooked in her mouth and she was sucking. She’s always done this when she was anxious or sleepy.

He said it needed to be addressed ASAP and we are serious about addressing it but I was caught off guard when he went on a lecture about “unaddressed and unresolved trauma”.

He assured us it didn’t mean she was abused or is being abused, and that childhood trauma is fairly normal. Especially medical trauma or separation trauma. DD stays at home with me but she got RSV at 7 months and was hospitalized for weeks and it was VERY traumatic for us, but figured she’d forget it.

I did notice an uptick in this because while she was hospitalized. I couldn’t nurse her for comfort due to tubes and monitors so she definitely was sucking on her hands more.

I know we couldn’t help any of this but this makes me feel horrible. I found some data on finger/thumb sucking and self soothing and some on trauma but is there really a direct correlation?

Babies do not forget a traumatic event like a sudden separation from their mother. I wish they had let you stay her.

Forget isn’t the right word. Babies definitely forget traumatic events. No one has memories before age 2-3. The problem with early trauma isn’t that you remember but that the trauma and attendant stress responses like cortisol shape the way the brain develops.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, I’m sorry you and your daughter went through the hospitalization experience. My second was hospitalized while I was on maternity leave and it was one of the worst experiences.

Second, your pediatrician is speaking nonsense. I would find a new pediatrician. If you’re not interested in switching, I would ask him to provide the peer reviewed research to back up his claim. If he’s unable or unwilling to provide it, I would definitely switch.

+1...Bye Bye to the Pediatrician. Thumb sucking is very common in young children...no different than a pacifier. DS was a huge thumb sucker till about 3 when he stopped on his own. He turned 23 yesterday and is a fabulous young man with a job and happy life.

+2 My DS was a pacifier addict and also a super happy, easy-going baby, great sleeper, with no traumatic experiences. We were able to limit the pacifier to the crib at a year old (on the advice of a friend who is a speech therapist) and he gave it up with no issues at 3.

Fingers can be more challenging since they are always there! One friend had a DD with persistent thumb sucking (no traumatic experiences) and they had to use a device on the thumb around 4-5 yrs old to get her to break the habit.

[Anonymous]

OP, there is nothing you could have done in this case, so let it go. Trust me, I know it’s hard. There will be many instances in parenting where something beyond your control happens and you need to deal with the outcome and you may feel guilty. Think your child getting a concussion from falling from the monkey bars, etc. As far as what your pediatrician says, I have one data point, my adopted niece. She was adopted at nine months from a very bad orphanage. She finally stopped sucking her fingers in middle school. She was certainly very traumatized by her time there.

[Anonymous]

The truth is no one knows the best way to handle thumb sucking, because what’s best emotionally might not be best dentally may not be best socially…

[Anonymous]

Wait, what? One of my kids did this until he was 7. Pediatrician never said anything and he has beautiful straight teeth. He did it to sooth himself to sleep (when tired) since he was a baby. Then one day he just stopped. There were times I thought he'd be sucking those 2 fingers until he was elderly lol but it was never brought up by our Pediatrician or Dentist and he definitely has no trauma.