Dreading going to work each day--feeling tired and stressed.

[Anonymous]

I have what I once thought was my dream job, but for the past 6 months I dread going to work every day because I feel tired, stressed, and burned out. I work in a very low-paying field, but I love my work and it's in the field of my graduate degree. I work full-time. I don't like my co-workers or my office environment, and that's part of what stresses me, but in general I feel burned out I think because of lack of vacation time. Not only does my job pay very poorly, but I only get 2 weeks of vacation a year. This is definitely not enough and leads to feeling very burned out.

My weekends are nice, but I don't get back to the office on Mondays feeling refreshed. Usually on Mondays I still feel stressed and tired. Usually my weekends are filled with cleaning and errands. I don't do much cooking, only very simple meals at home.

I'm married with no kids, but yet I can't seem to shake this feeling of constant stress/exhaustion and burnout. I have been focusing on things I can do to feel more refreshed on the weekends, but what usually happens is if I have a great, refreshing weekend, then I feel stressed on the weeknights because my house is a pig sty, I have no clean laundry, and I have a bunch of errands to cram in after work.

We can't afford a housekeeper to come in, I have already thought about that. DH helps out when he can with the chores and errands, I have no complaints about how much he does around the house. It's just that he works much more than me and doesn't have as much time to do household stuff.

I do take all my vacation time, every year.

Any tips for avoiding feeling burned out when you have 2 piddily weeks of vacation per year?

[Anonymous]

Take some "sick" days, and be thankful you have a job with paid vacation.

[Anonymous]

OP, I was you, minus the graduate degree in the field I was in. I took a job at an organization that was, on paper, a perfect fit for me. The work was rewarding, interesting, challenging in all the right ways. I enjoyed the work itself very much. The office, however, was toxic. Toxic coworkers who were constantly trying to undermine each other made the environment absolutely poisonous. I tried to keep my head down and stay out of the fray, but in a small office in which the majority of people are engaged in drama, that's basically impossible.

I quit. I was dreading going to work every day. It was spilling over into the rest of my life. It wasn't worth it. I am now at a less fulfilling job professionally, but could not be happier with my colleagues and the supportive positive atmosphere of my new office.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Two weeks of vacation a year is not enough. I agree that you should feel free to take a few sick days now and then. You might also want to consider trying to negotiate for more vacation time, trying to go part time, or if either of those fail, trying to get additional weeks of unpaid leave. I have worked in a couple of nonprofits. You would think they would attract nicer people, but I think they often ironically windup attracting less nice people.

As a single person with no kids, I also Question the amount of time you feel you need to be spending doing errands and stuff around the house. Is there a way for you to simplify your life on this front? I grocery shop, I pay bills, I clean, I pick up dry cleaning. Granted, I live in apartment, not a house but I don't really see why you're so busy running errands. I feel like my life is fairly simple on this point, compared to my friends with kids. Are you doing stuff for your husband that he really could be doing for himself? If you spend a lot of time taking care of the house, could you guys consider downsizing?

I also Rex getting a physical to rule out health issues (thyroid etc).

[Anonymous]

No kids? HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Sweetheart, Buck up.

Signed,
Your future self.

[Anonymous]

Same here, but because I have the worst boss ever. Attrition rate in the small group is going up and she continues her micromanaging and bullying.

Just try to laugh at it, but plan your exit or switch groups.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I actually use all my sick days every year. This past winter I had the flu, and was out for a whole week. I get 9 sick days per year and always use them all, either for being sick or doctors appointments.

[Anonymous]

Can you afford to take a few unpaid sick days? If so, sprinkle them throughout the year. Plan something ahead of time so you have something to look forward to. This got me through a lot of hard times. There was always something very satisfying about marking off days on a calendar.

[Anonymous]

2 weeks vacation is normal for America. What's with this talk of "only".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:2 weeks vacation is normal for America. What's with this talk of "only".

Two weeks of vacation may be normal, but it leads to stressed out, exhausted employees who can't do their best work because they are so in need of a rejuvinating break.

[Anonymous]

Can you telework at all? That seems to be an excellent solution to your "love the work, hate the office" issues. But you should definitely go and get a physical. You may well be suffering from a thyroid issue or depression. Try increasing the amount of physical activity you get (go for a walk at lunchtime), get more sun, and eat better!

[Anonymous]

Do you take vitamins and exercise? Exercise really increases your energy level. A hobby you are passionate about also helps.

[Anonymous]

OP -- I would bet many of us feel like you. I used to really like my job. Now I have a boss who is looking for every excuse to get rid of me. It is stressful and it keeps me on my toes. I just try to eat right, exercise, keep up with friends and try to revel in the pay I get. I do as little as possible and try to keep a positive attitude and try to be nice to the folks I work with.

I think not working would be better but then I would miss the money I make. So, I don't agree with those who say quit. God only knows how long it would take to get another job in this economy. I do agree to try to get a hobby, walk with friends, go to movies, exercise, etc. You should feel better by not overthinking work.

[Anonymous]

OP, do you have any money saved up so that you can quit and take time to find something new? Are there other opportunities in your field or is the market for jobs you would like very tight? I would agree that two weeks vacation is pretty low and if they are not paying you well, it sounds like you could find something better (again, depending on your field).

You said that you do not have kids yet and if that is in your future, I would highly recommend finding a new job with a less toxic work environment before you start a family. It's hard enough to balance a family and WOH both physically and emotionally but having to do it for a job that makes you miserable is even worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have what I once thought was my dream job, but for the past 6 months I dread going to work every day because I feel tired, stressed, and burned out. I work in a very low-paying field, but I love my work and it's in the field of my graduate degree. I work full-time. I don't like my co-workers or my office environment, and that's part of what stresses me, but in general I feel burned out I think because of lack of vacation time. Not only does my job pay very poorly, but I only get 2 weeks of vacation a year. This is definitely not enough and leads to feeling very burned out.

My weekends are nice, but I don't get back to the office on Mondays feeling refreshed. Usually on Mondays I still feel stressed and tired. Usually my weekends are filled with cleaning and errands. I don't do much cooking, only very simple meals at home.

I'm married with no kids, but yet I can't seem to shake this feeling of constant stress/exhaustion and burnout. I have been focusing on things I can do to feel more refreshed on the weekends, but what usually happens is if I have a great, refreshing weekend, then I feel stressed on the weeknights because my house is a pig sty, I have no clean laundry, and I have a bunch of errands to cram in after work.

We can't afford a housekeeper to come in, I have already thought about that. DH helps out when he can with the chores and errands, I have no complaints about how much he does around the house. It's just that he works much more than me and doesn't have as much time to do household stuff.

I do take all my vacation time, every year.

Any tips for avoiding feeling burned out when you have 2 piddily weeks of vacation per year?

Hi OP, I could have written this exact post. I'm sorry a lot of people are minimizing your problem, but I think it's valid. I'm married with no kids, working in my field in a great job, but still feeling burned out and financially stretched. I think a big part of my problem is that work is too central to my life satisfaction. I don't have enough other things going on in my life to buffer the negative effects of work. So, when work is bad, I don't have other things in my life that make it worthwhile. I didn't have things to look forward to. Does that sound like you?

Do you have any hobbies? Do you have friends here and can you see them more often? Can you plan a nice outing (maybe a Groupon for ideas) to give you something to look forward to? Can you take care of your errands all at once in one big trip instead of spreading that stress out over so many days? What if you set aside one chunk of time to deal with your laundry, keeping in mind that if you do just push through it you'll be happier all week?

When I realized I was feeling like this, that's when I figured out I was ready to start trying to have kids. I felt like I am not fulfilled, even though my marriage is in a great place, and that having a kid would give me more purpose. We shall see...