Does anyone know of an adoption agency that will support a gay (International) adoption?

[Anonymous]

I am hoping to adopt with my partner. We wanted to adopt Internationally, but I heard gay couples cannot do this. Is this American Laws or Chinese laws? Does anyone know of a good adoption agency for international gay adoption?

[Anonymous]

The Human Rights Campaign has a lot of resources on LGBT adoption: http://www.hrc.org/issues/parenting/adoption.asp

[Anonymous]

I believe it is up to the country to set policies on who they will adopt to, age, marital status, etc... Then there are agencies who have their own policies, but that is dictated by state law. In Maryland, all adoption agencies must be licensed by the state, so they must follow state non-discrimination policies (even religious agencies). In Maryland, sexual orientation and marital status cannot be "the sole reason" for an agency to deny your application. That said, if they really didn't want to approve you, they could find something about your income or home life stability, etc... as a reason to deny you, but they would be open to a legal challenge.

[Anonymous]

It is not possible to do an international adoption as a gay couple. If you are not married and do not live in Virginia, then one of you can do a single parent adoption. Your options will be those countries that are open to singles and those that operate on a don't ask, don't tell basis. There are no countries that allow out and open gays or lesbians to adopt.

You ask about China and China does not turn a blind eye. Also, China only allows singles to adopt special needs children. Not that it's relevant to your situation, but the wait for a NSN child is five or more years after your log in date, which means after home study and paperchase, which takes at least several months and for some, as long as a year.

The problem with married is this. It shows up in your home study and thereby disqualify you for international adoption. The problem with Virginia is this. The fact that you are gay or lesbian will show up in your home study and will disqualify you for international adoption.


Some resources that you might want to look at, in additon to the HRC website (which I personally didn't find helpful, but others do), include Dawn Davenport's Creating a family. www.creatingafamily.com. When you look at her country charts, they all say that it is not possible for a gay or lesbian to adopt. Don't rely on that.

Also, look at the department of state website. That contains a lot of information about countries that are open to international adoption, whether they allow singles to adopt and what agencies are working in each country. You can also get statistics to see how many visas are issues for children coming to the US from each country, which will give you an idea as to the viability of international adoptions from that country. The DoS websites also contains notices and warnings relating to different countries.

Finally, there is a relatively inactive yahoo group relating to gay and lesbian adoptions. I can't recall the name but if you search for gay and lesbian adoptions it pops up.

[Anonymous]

Wow - thank you to everyone for all of your help. How hard would it be to go through a homestudy as a "single person"...sort of "don't ask, don't tell". I really did have a boyfriend in highschool that I could talk about

[Anonymous]

15:30 here. I'm a BTDT three times - all successful - and for about six years in a row had to complete home studies because they would go out of date before I was finished forming my family. Here is my advice. Talk to agencies openly about your situation and about whether they would be willing to work with you. Make sure you find one that has experience working with same sex couples and has successfully completed adoptions for same sex couples. Use a home study agency that is Hague accredited and that has experience in writing home studies for same sex couples. Never under any circumstances lie about anything that is asked. And, keep your eye on the prize so you can get over all of the hurt feelings and inequities you will experience through the process because of the nature of your relationship.

In your home study, no one will care for a second about your high school boyfriends or lack of them. It's just not relevant to whether you are competent to parent a child. They will, however, want to know about anyone that is living with you and what role that person/those persons will play in your child's life so if you live with your partner, your partner will be a large part of the home study, including having to submit to medical examination and HIV testing.

One last caution. International adoption is a tough and unpredictable road these days. Most people also find it to be extremely expensive. Recently, I've heard estimates of $50k to $80k to adopt from Russia and many find that their efforts aren't successful after spending many tens of thousands of dollars. So, do your homework and make sure you pick a reputable agency with a good track record both in the country you choose and with same sex couples.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Friends in Adoption does a lot of domestic adoptions with gay couples. They are in VT. They do have an international program but I don't recommend lying. You would be better off with a domestic infant adoption. Some friends of mine are a gay couple and they adopted two beautiful boys domestically. I think they used a MD agency and they waited a long time for the first baby but only a couple of months for the second. I recommend going out of state for shorter wait times and shorter risk periods. Your homestudy will be a lot easier if you don't lie.

[Anonymous]

I am a GLBT attorney and want to elaborate on not lying and how in Virginia it is truly dangerous to lie. You should expect that even if the adoption is approved internationally you will not be approved in Virginia because you will have lied on your application. If you lie to the Virginia court then you leave the adoption open to be overturned in the future on the grounds of fraud. Depending on where you live in Virginia, criminal prosecution is a real possibility.

[Anonymous]

I know a gay woman (in a relationship) who adopted internationally last year. Her agency (a very well respected agency) likely knew. I also know of an adoption social worker in this area who is known for her work she quietly does with gay couples-doing home studies to make it possible for them to adopt internationally but as a single. I don't feel comfortable "outing" her here but I'm sure if you do some digging in the gay/lesbian adoption community in the DC area you can learn of her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know a gay woman (in a relationship) who adopted internationally last year. Her agency (a very well respected agency) likely knew. I also know of an adoption social worker in this area who is known for her work she quietly does with gay couples-doing home studies to make it possible for them to adopt internationally but as a single. I don't feel comfortable "outing" her here but I'm sure if you do some digging in the gay/lesbian adoption community in the DC area you can learn of her.

We second all of the above as a same-sex couple that adopted internationally while living in VA. Had a very supportive social worker. All that said, the issue these days is that the number of countries "open" for international adoption has shrunk substantially and there are fewer of those that are open to singles, especially single men.

We adopted internationally at the time because, being in VA, it was actually much less problematic than trying to adopt domestically. These days (and I'm not an expert) in VA, it seems like it would indeed be possible for one of you to adopt as a single. If you chose to adopt from a state that has second parent adoptions, in some cases it is possible to complete the second parent adoption in the state you adopted from. Good luck - it is complicated, but doable!

[Anonymous]

This is sad. I just assumed they all would. Really what is wrong with my commonwealth???!

[Anonymous]

"These days (and I'm not an expert) in VA, it seems like it would indeed be possible for one of you to adopt as a single."


I'm not sure this is true. I've been hearing a lot of talk from adoption social workers about not being able to hide the fact of same sex relationships in VA home studies. If you are indeed serious, this is something to look into before you start if you live in VA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"These days (and I'm not an expert) in VA, it seems like it would indeed be possible for one of you to adopt as a single."


I'm not sure this is true. I've been hearing a lot of talk from adoption social workers about not being able to hide the fact of same sex relationships in VA home studies. If you are indeed serious, this is something to look into before you start if you live in VA.

I'm the poster who said it might be possible to adopt in VA via domestic adoption. With a good social worker, it is doable.

[Anonymous]

define "good".

[Anonymous]

"I'm the poster who said it might be possible to adopt in VA via domestic adoption. With a good social worker, it is doable. "


The OP asked about international adoption so I assumed that's what you are talking about. Domestic adoption is a completely different ballgame than international and being gay isn't a bar in domestic adoption in this area.