An SPD play date who is aggressive and how to handle it

[Anonymous]

This mom has told me that she feels her child will outgrow it. She tells me, "He's not going to be hitting people at age 14." So this is why she thinks it's pointless to spend so much money on therapy now. Hard to convince her that these things may manifest themselves in different ways when kids grow up.

[Anonymous]

Maybe he won't be hitting anyone but after yrs after not having anyone want to get near him, let alone be his friend, she will have to spend her money on some big time counseling for him. He will have alienated himself through no real fault of his own. What a shame.

[Anonymous]

Good luck, OP. If you feel that you have to tell white lies in order to get out of the playdates and still accommodate the friendship, then do what you have to do. It's hardly your fault given that the mom doesn't sound very receptive to frank conversation. Ultimately you have to prioritize your own child and it sounds like you know that.

I feel very sorry for her child who obviously needs help and equally obviously isn't getting it. I have a 5 year old DD who has sensory issues and I can tell you it's exhausting and expensive taking her to therapy a couple of times a week. She's a tiny thing, gentle, and tends to avoid loud or aggressive children. It keeps me awake at night worrying about her, but I know I'm trying to help her. Consequently I can't really sympathize with a mother who's aware of her child's issues and is choosing to ignore them, but OTOH I haven't walked in her shoes.

Good luck to you.