verbal abuse

[Anonymous]

You need to get another lawyer. You can't be charged with abduction, if it is your child and there is no court order. Get your ducks in a row, find a place to live, file for divorce simulatanously with moving out.

[Anonymous]

Op, I left with my kids. And I'm pretty sure STBX H would have charged me with abduction if it were possible, I don't believe it is. You are not abducting your own child if there is no court order for custody. That's assuming you're not moving to another unknown country. Good luck, sending good thoughts your way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Where's his mother? Talk to her.

Get a prescription for Xanax. Seriously. And a new lawyer.

And a better system for recording this dangerous asshole.

Access domestic violence services. They will have much better advice for you.

His mom is probably the reason the way he is- he didn't magically become this was after undergrad.

[Anonymous]

Did I go back in time and write this post? My DH was just like this. It did escalate to physical violence. I have two crowns to show for it. :-/

My advice to you: call a domestic abuse hotline. Tell them you want out. Tell them what you told us. They will advise you on what to do. Do it from your cell, then delete the number. If you google a number, delete the website and the search from your cache.

[Anonymous]

OP, how are you? are you okay? Have you spoken to another lawyer or hotline? Can we help you? Do you have someone else who can stay with you if you are afraid to leave. Do you work and have childcare or are you home? I would work on moving out.....

are you in DC/MD/VA?

[Anonymous]

OP here. First thank you everyone for constructive suggestions. I did phone the hotline suggested. It was very affirming and helped me not minimize the abuse--verbal and emotional--even if legally it's grayer. The hotline suggested I go to a link: http://womenslaw.org/ which I found helpful for many reasons, including pointing me to county-specific resources.

Through an Arlington County-specific advocacy group, Doorways for Women and Children, I was able to get a temporary protective order. I was told that my husband would not know that I was seeking it, so that I had next to nothing to lose by trying to get it. I strongly encourage women in my situatioin--meaning with borderline legal cases, but serious misery in their lives--to talk to these hotlines. It really helped me a lot to understand the damaging impact and to feel supported to do something to make my child's life better.

Thank you everyone for getting me on the path to a better life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. First thank you everyone for constructive suggestions. I did phone the hotline suggested. It was very affirming and helped me not minimize the abuse--verbal and emotional--even if legally it's grayer. The hotline suggested I go to a link: http://womenslaw.org/ which I found helpful for many reasons, including pointing me to county-specific resources.

Through an Arlington County-specific advocacy group, Doorways for Women and Children, I was able to get a temporary protective order. I was told that my husband would not know that I was seeking it, so that I had next to nothing to lose by trying to get it. I strongly encourage women in my situatioin--meaning with borderline legal cases, but serious misery in their lives--to talk to these hotlines. It really helped me a lot to understand the damaging impact and to feel supported to do something to make my child's life better.

Thank you everyone for getting me on the path to a better life.

Hi OP,
You did the right thing for yourself and your family and what you did takes courage and strength. There are so many women who stay in abusive situations like yours. My husband has been on the Board of Doorways for a long time and it's a wonderful organization. This was the first time I was reading your post and I was about to write that you should contact Doorways, but I was so glad to read that you already had. I wish you and your children all the best. They are so fortunate to have a Mom like you.