I think my seventeen year old son is gay.
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Anonymous
Simply wow. You would present them with alternatives to being who they are? |
Anonymous
pp here ! I never said anything about people having a choice in the matter . I'm asking people of similar circumstances how to approach the subject matter ! As far as people deserving to be themselves ? Why are people so off subject ? Don't read between the lines read what I'm writing ! Why is it so complicated to get advice ? This subject is very sensitive obviously. |
Anonymous
| I also think this is a troll post to get people to fight over this topic. |
Anonymous
| A troll ? You're ridiculous !!!!! I'll get info else where . |
Anonymous
| Treat the subject matter by telling your son that you love him and will be there for him regardless of his sexuality, and then do it. There doesn't have to be much additional conversation as long as he knows you still love and respect him and aren't trying to change him. |
Anonymous
Wow, I can't imagine why he won't talk to you. Wait, I know - because THIS IS NOT A REAL POST!!! |
Anonymous
| You remind me of the mother in the movie "Prayers for Bobby", which is a true story. Hopefully you won't drive your child to suicide like she did. |
Anonymous
| So sad that people think the way you do, OP. So very sad. |
Anonymous
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I would recommend doing some reading up at PFLAG (Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays).
Here's some on its membership: "Our members come from all walks of life. We are straight, we are gay and we are bisexual. We are transgender. We are moms and dads, siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles, friends, children and allies. We come from large cities and small towns. We live in rural areas. We are people of color. We come from all economic backgrounds. We come from all faith traditions. We are disabled. We are youth and we are elderly. Our membership and our leadership are diverse, but what we have in common is our commitment to grow beyond false and harmful perceptions of LGBT people, to educate our communities, and to stand up for full equal rights and protections for LGBT people." And here's the place to start if your son comes out to you or you want to think through this possibility: http://community.pflag.org/Page.aspx?pid=539 |
Anonymous
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I was also going to recommend PFLAG. I would attend a group at the DC location and just meet some other people and see how it goes. http://www.pflagdc.org/
If you are truly religious, you are going to need to grapple with the tenets of your faith and decide which are important to you. If you really believe in a God that hates, or that the rules about "sin" are more important than the rules about forgiveness and love and family, you are going to lose your son. So I'd work on that if I were in your position; I'd turn away from God sooner than my child, but I'd first find a God who would allow me to keep both. |
Anonymous
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OP, PFLAG is a really good suggestion. You love your son very much, it's obvious.
First and foremost, recognize and remind yourself that this is not a choice on his part. He is probably terrified of rejection. |
Anonymous
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start a conversation saying that you love him very much and doesn't matter at all about his choice. That you will approve his choice...
I really think thats a nice beginning but before that YOU have to accept the fact... or things will get worst.. goog luck. |
Anonymous
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Setting aside issues of whether being gay is wrong, etc., you're going to have a terrible relationship with your son if you keep approaching his sexual orientation as something immoral that you're trying to change about him. Push him far enough on this issue, and he may run away and end up in real danger. You're making him miserable, which is not good for his mental health. Lots of gay teens commit suicide. You have to choose between your faith-based (and therefore ultimately impossible to know if it is actually God's will) desire to stop him from being gay (which won't actually work) and the more tangible and definite harm to your son and your relationship with him.
Efforts to stop people from being gay don't work. Lots of ex-gay movement leaders who say that people can choose not to be gay have gotten caught in gay sex scandals. |
Anonymous
There's nothing to "agree" with. It is who he is. Would you "agree" with his hair or eye color, or the size of his feet? His sexuality is as much a part of him as those things are. Love him, accept him, support him. That's all you have to do. |