Feeling stuck in starter home TH

[Anonymous]

The advice is to accumulate things until you are age 50 and then you should start shedding things from 50 onward, including downsizing your home. You are in the right size home now. Make do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has stayed in her starter home for 17 years: It now feels like the smart thing to do. If there’s no super urgent reason to move, don’t move. The security is priceless.

I hate the term "starter" home. It seems to be a holdover from the 90s. We live in a TH and it will be our forever home. I love it. It's just the right size, the perfect layout for a family of 4, but not so big we can accumulate tons and tons of STUFF. We have to be pretty good about getting rid of things that we don't use, and be thoughtful about what we bring in. Of course there's a few things I'd love to tweak, and maybe we will eventually. I love that we have no yard to maintain. We are lucky that our backdoor opens into quite a bit of green/wooded space, so my kids have great space to play in (it's shared, so it's also social and we hang out with neighbors all the time).

My kids are getting to ages where I do think the house might feel small for a few years. But I think being creative about getting through those years and beyond, my DH and I will be so glad we stayed here. Keeping our housing cost low enables us to make more upgrades, to travel more, and sock away more for retirement. In general, I think it's one of the best financial decisions we've made.

[Anonymous]

This and similar threads are why I went straight for a SFH for my first house. I wasn’t going to potentially get stuck in a condo or townhouse, which I didn’t want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The advice is to accumulate things until you are age 50 and then you should start shedding things from 50 onward, including downsizing your home. You are in the right size home now. Make do.

That is absurd advice.

[Anonymous]

You aren't stuck, you have to prioritize. We are in the exact same situation. Purchased TH 13 years ago, refinanced at 2.5%, and now a move up to a slightly larger SFH in the area would be triple the mortgage.

We've decided it's not worth it. We like having the extra money to save and travel. We'll also 100% be able to pay for our kids college. Would more house be nice? Yep. But the peace is better.

[Anonymous]

Another option is to buy a second home somewhere you would rather be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has stayed in her starter home for 17 years: It now feels like the smart thing to do. If there’s no super urgent reason to move, don’t move. The security is priceless.

I hate the term "starter" home. It seems to be a holdover from the 90s. We live in a TH and it will be our forever home. I love it. It's just the right size, the perfect layout for a family of 4, but not so big we can accumulate tons and tons of STUFF. We have to be pretty good about getting rid of things that we don't use, and be thoughtful about what we bring in. Of course there's a few things I'd love to tweak, and maybe we will eventually. I love that we have no yard to maintain. We are lucky that our backdoor opens into quite a bit of green/wooded space, so my kids have great space to play in (it's shared, so it's also social and we hang out with neighbors all the time).

My kids are getting to ages where I do think the house might feel small for a few years. But I think being creative about getting through those years and beyond, my DH and I will be so glad we stayed here. Keeping our housing cost low enables us to make more upgrades, to travel more, and sock away more for retirement. In general, I think it's one of the best financial decisions we've made.

+1 Same. I don’t like the “starter home” term either. A townhouse can be a forever home, just like a small rambler can also be a forever home.

OP, if the house makes financial sense and you have enough space to live in and grow a family, keep what you have. You could also try renting out your home like others suggested and saving for a down payment to live somewhere else. I know quite a few people who are going that route.

I used to live in a TH and we moved to a SFH, but honestly we miss the TH; less maintenance, less utility bills, less property tax. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Be happy and blessed for what you already have. Many others would be happy to have your TH who are actually stuck living in a condo/apartment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are in a similar situation. We can afford another house but can’t justify tripling our mortgage, with majority of it going toward interest. As PP suggested above, we decided to do some updates and decorate to help us like our current house more. I am trying to see the positives. Can’t beat the location and we really do not need that much more space.

Interest is deductible

It isn’t for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are in a similar situation. We can afford another house but can’t justify tripling our mortgage, with majority of it going toward interest. As PP suggested above, we decided to do some updates and decorate to help us like our current house more. I am trying to see the positives. Can’t beat the location and we really do not need that much more space.

Interest is deductible

It isn’t for us.

And also how much does that really save you on a 1mil+ mortgage where at current rates about 10k/month is interest in the first years? If it was making any significant dent the real estate market would not be essentially frozen right now.

[Anonymous]

It's a nice problem to have, OP, all things considered.

We can afford to buy a new house cash for 2-3M. We don't even have the high interest rate to consider. But do we *want* to? No. We actually like our teeny-weeny, rickety old starter house in a neighborhood with good schools. There's less to manage, less to outsource, everyone is within line of sight and easy conversation. We can pay for college easily, travel internationally, etc. We aren't into keeping with the Joneses, we don't need external signs of wealth. We have a much smaller carbon footprint than we'd have in a large house after redoing the insulation in the attic.

It's all good.

[Anonymous]

OP, stay where you are and start thinking about a vacation home instead. That's what we did and I love that we did it. Our vacation home (delaware beach area) will also be our retirement plan.

[Anonymous]

I had a friend in this scenario, but she eventually embraced everything they loved about their townhouse (good neighbors, lots of kids, walk ability, etc.) and decided to embrace staying there to raise their kids than splurge on moving to a new home. She and her husband used some of the money they had saved on projects to make better use of their space and updated decor/flooring etc. once their kids were a bit older and they could care for nicer things.

My family is in a SFH but it’s smaller than ideal. But our rate is so low and I know the flexibility in our budget will serve us better long term (plus we love our neighborhood). We would rather save/invest/travel.

So make peace with the decision to stay put and improve other areas of your life instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The advice is to accumulate things until you are age 50 and then you should start shedding things from 50 onward, including downsizing your home. You are in the right size home now. Make do.

How old is this advice? My youngest child will be 9 when I'm 50. Do I really start downsizing when I've still got a kid in elementary school? I think it should be more like 60 for those of us who had children into our 40s (mine was not planned).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The advice is to accumulate things until you are age 50 and then you should start shedding things from 50 onward, including downsizing your home. You are in the right size home now. Make do.

How old is this advice? My youngest child will be 9 when I'm 50. Do I really start downsizing when I've still got a kid in elementary school? I think it should be more like 60 for those of us who had children into our 40s (mine was not planned).

It isn't real... just something someone made up. Advice?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who has stayed in her starter home for 17 years: It now feels like the smart thing to do. If there’s no super urgent reason to move, don’t move. The security is priceless.

+1. We can’t justify tripling our mortgage payments so we are staying in a house this is just fine, even though on paper we could afford a house that we would adore.

It’s making me a bit more willing to invest in upgrades, nicer furniture or decor that makes me happy, to make the best of a house that wasn’t meant to be forever.

Grass is always greener. We bought a SFH when rates were low. I love my home, but I do miss the TH we had before. No maintenance, like another poster said our backdoor opened to a small patio then shared green space. It was better in a lot of ways. Kids were going from TH to TH, constant play dates, etc. We were renting so didn’t have the option to buy and nothing came up in our area during the 18 months we were putting in bids for homes. Now we have a large yard (for the area) and have to mow, deal with tree maintenance, etc. That is time and money we could be doing other things in that time.

You aren’t stuck because you can afford it. Be grateful because so many people would love to be in your position.

Life is way too short. So many people in my life have died way too young so I view life differently because of that. If you are miserable then buy a new house, or invest that $ and wait and buy a new house or second home in a few years. Or use it to travel or save so you can retire earlier. Make peace with whatever decision you make.