10-year-old can’t tie shoe
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Anonymous
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What does it mean? Honestly.
I’ve been trying to teach him since before he started K. Now at 10 he still struggles. It takes him about 5-10 times to freakin’ tie his shoe. I wish I was kidding. He plays soccer and basketball and baseball. It isn’t for a lack of dexterity. Why the heck can’t he grasp tying his shoe? What could this be so I can get him properly assessed, if needed. |
Anonymous
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It could be because he wore a lot of Velcro and slip on shoes? My son was late in tying his shoes, probably 8 or 9.
The doctor said a lot of times parents just help them and do it for them because they’re in a hurry. I think it’s probably more common than you think. |
Anonymous
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Are you helping him just to make things go faster? Stop and make him do it even if you are late, it’s during a basketball game and he might trip, etc.
Kids don’t learn to tie their shoes bc it takes practice and the parents aren’t patient enough. PP is right, you are not the only person in this situation. |
Anonymous
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Yikes
You know what it means |
Anonymous
| Mine wear laceless shoes—Velcro and slides, crocs most of the time. Shoe tying is a good life skill but barely going to save anyone’s life. |
Anonymous
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It's all about muscle memory. If it were my kid, I would offer a daily reward for tying/untying his shoe five times in five minutes. The reward can be whatever his currency is: screen time, candy, cash, etc. Maybe offer a large reward if he does it every day for a week. If he accomplishes this, he should be good to go.
That said, what is his method for tying shoes? My husband taught the kids that horrible "bunny ears" method. I had to reteach them the standard way because the bunny ears will never stay tied. |
Anonymous
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Kindergarten teacher here. This is the method I used to teach my son and I send it to my students' parents. It works with shoes with that extra hole at the top.
https://youtu.be/QJVR8hHBQyM?si=SV6LtkhG9Ejp0lWU |
Anonymous
I was going to suggest trying the bunny ears. If you do the cross- over-pull-through twice, they usually stay tied, in my experience, unless the laces are long enough for the kid to step on, which can pull them loose. You could always try doing it 3 times, but if you pull it too tight, then you’re dealing with a knot. I’ve taught many kids both methods. Once the bunny ears method feels automatic, it’s good to teach the standard way. |
Anonymous
| My 10 year old girl is also like this. Same as yours, talented at gymnastics and soccer , has great handwriting, can write in cursive, do her own hair , makes bracelets, etc. Yet, she still struggles with shoelaces. I couldn’t find shoes with real laces for her for a long time though , because her feet were/are so small , only wearing a 9 toddler in K. We’d practice on siblings shoes though all the time but it never stuck. She has plenty of lace up shoes now though but still struggles to tie properly. |
Anonymous
Well, soccer, basketball, and baseball are all gross motor activities. Tying shoes is fine motor. How is his handwriting? Coloring and drawing? Building with teeny tiny LEGO? Occupational therapists (OTs) evaluate fine motor skills. |
Anonymous
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My son was like that at 10- could tie them but so so sloooooowly. Would often walk around with them untied etc. We did of course try many things, none of which seemed to work. He is now a teen and definitely figured it out on his own sometime in his tween years.
Not sure what the problem was TBH, but he did seem to “outgrow” it. Has never had any other issues - good student, very athletic, behaviorally normal etc. Seems it was just a quirk of some sort, or extreme laziness. 🤷♀️ |
Anonymous
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If the conventional method doesn’t work, you might try a different method (ex. bunny ears).
Sometimes kids can be resistant to parents showing them something. If that’s the case, you might want to set aside a sizable chunk of time, do a Youtube search for tying shoelaces, and turn him loose. (There are many, many videos on Youtube). Tell him that when he masters thing his shoes, according to whatever standard you set (X times in a row, X times in a given time interval, etc.) you’ll celebrate with reward (treat, game, TV for the rest of the day, etc.). https://m.youtube.com/results?sp=mAEA&search_query=tying+shoes Do you think he might be more receptive if it wasn’t another shoe-tying lesson? Maybe you could recruit him to help you wrap gifts and tie bows with ribbons on them. If you payed him per gift, he’d be extra-motivated, and you’d get the gifts wrapped. Alternatively, he could tie bows on anything, just make up a project.. Don’t forget to teach him about a double knot to help KEEP his shoes tied. It should be a cinch after he learns to tie them in the first place. Good luck to you both. |
Anonymous
If you teach them this method, you will spend several minutes every morning prying apart knotted laces. The bunny ears method has no exit plan. There's no way to untie it without breaking your nails. |
Anonymous
| I'm sorry but the bunny ears method is terrible. There's no way to get the shoe to stay tight enough to be wearable. I recommend letting the kid watch videos of the more standard shoe-tying method. Offer a reward for repeatedly tying and untying his shoe. |
Anonymous
+1 I used to have to use a dinner fork to undo these when my kids were small. Super annoying |