If you grew up poor/LMC and became UMC in your own

[Anonymous]

Do you feel like you need to spend ridiculous amounts of money on your kids like all the other UMC/Rich people? My circle is mostly these types, myself included. We grew up in divorced and/or low income households often where our parents made less than 50k and we all now make 300-400k in our early 30’s. We all find it crazy how people think they need to pay for expensive tutoring, private schools, travel teams, etc when we had none of that and turned out fine. One of my friends just had a baby and said he doesn’t plan on saving for their college education.

[Anonymous]

My husband was a war refugee, and now spends his considerable wealth on our kids' education and activities. Not on himself (and he grumbles about any expense that's not directly tied to some financial or educational investment). The frugality is strong with him, except when it comes to our children's potential.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you feel like you need to spend ridiculous amounts of money on your kids like all the other UMC/Rich people? My circle is mostly these types, myself included. We grew up in divorced and/or low income households often where our parents made less than 50k and we all now make 300-400k in our early 30’s. We all find it crazy how people think they need to pay for expensive tutoring, private schools, travel teams, etc when we had none of that and turned out fine. One of my friends just had a baby and said he doesn’t plan on saving for their college education.

So you became UMC and are now in UMC circles, but don't want your children to enjoy the benefits of being UMC?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you feel like you need to spend ridiculous amounts of money on your kids like all the other UMC/Rich people? My circle is mostly these types, myself included. We grew up in divorced and/or low income households often where our parents made less than 50k and we all now make 300-400k in our early 30’s. We all find it crazy how people think they need to pay for expensive tutoring, private schools, travel teams, etc when we had none of that and turned out fine. One of my friends just had a baby and said he doesn’t plan on saving for their college education.

That is highly unusual among UMC people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you feel like you need to spend ridiculous amounts of money on your kids like all the other UMC/Rich people? My circle is mostly these types, myself included. We grew up in divorced and/or low income households often where our parents made less than 50k and we all now make 300-400k in our early 30’s. We all find it crazy how people think they need to pay for expensive tutoring, private schools, travel teams, etc when we had none of that and turned out fine. One of my friends just had a baby and said he doesn’t plan on saving for their college education.

That is highly unusual among UMC people.

Always a generation away from the trailer.

[Anonymous]

I became UMC on my own, but I purposefully don't raise my kids only among other UMC families. We live in a socioeconomically diverse neighborhood and kids go to public schools. The kids realize we are wealthier than most, though, and we struggle to explain to them why we don't spend more on them. We will fully fund college and help with the important stuff in the future.

[Anonymous]

I'm very happy to pay for extracurriculars because those were opportunities I didn't have and wish I had. That's mostly about giving the basic chance though, so it's rec leagues and group lessons. We don't pay for anything that's crazy expensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you feel like you need to spend ridiculous amounts of money on your kids like all the other UMC/Rich people? My circle is mostly these types, myself included. We grew up in divorced and/or low income households often where our parents made less than 50k and we all now make 300-400k in our early 30’s. We all find it crazy how people think they need to pay for expensive tutoring, private schools, travel teams, etc when we had none of that and turned out fine. One of my friends just had a baby and said he doesn’t plan on saving for their college education.

Dumbdedumm. It’s so blue collar thinking to not value education.
Does he think his kids will just be lucky and land in fortunate circumstances like he did? 400k isn’t enough to trust fund his kid, so what’s his plan? Or is that too UMC for him to consider?

[Anonymous]

I am like you (rejecting the approach of many of the parents of my kid’s peers).

But my kid is still a little spoiled in that she has expensive tastes…but she grew up in a richer family than I did so that us to be expected.

[Anonymous]

I spend nothing on my kids other than aftercare.
I don't care of they go to college or not, but they got to get the heck out of the house at some point after 18/19.
I wanted nothing when I was poor and having money didn't change that a whole lot. My kids also want nothing. Well, maybe video games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you feel like you need to spend ridiculous amounts of money on your kids like all the other UMC/Rich people? My circle is mostly these types, myself included. We grew up in divorced and/or low income households often where our parents made less than 50k and we all now make 300-400k in our early 30’s. We all find it crazy how people think they need to pay for expensive tutoring, private schools, travel teams, etc when we had none of that and turned out fine. One of my friends just had a baby and said he doesn’t plan on saving for their college education.

Find a better crowd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My husband was a war refugee, and now spends his considerable wealth on our kids' education and activities. Not on himself (and he grumbles about any expense that's not directly tied to some financial or educational investment). The frugality is strong with him, except when it comes to our children's potential.

I'm kinda like your husband although not a war refugee.
I don't have problems for the most part with my wife's spending.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I spend nothing on my kids other than aftercare.
I don't care of they go to college or not, but they got to get the heck out of the house at some point after 18/19.
I wanted nothing when I was poor and having money didn't change that a whole lot. My kids also want nothing. Well, maybe video games.

Congrats on being trashy.

[Anonymous]

I think people just raise their kids based on what worked in their personal experience. If someone grew up poor and in public school and without lots of lavish toys and then did well (bootstraps!), they’re disproportionately likely to think the same will work for kids based on their priors. If someone raised with lots of privilege and has the ability to pass that on, likely will offer kids privilege. I personally fall in my own weird camp on raised in poor-ish family but went to a fancy private school on scholarship and this attribute much of my success to the influence of my fancy private school and the friends and community offered to me that started with that - and relatively rich now and more likely to send kids to private.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I spend nothing on my kids other than aftercare.
I don't care of they go to college or not, but they got to get the heck out of the house at some point after 18/19.
I wanted nothing when I was poor and having money didn't change that a whole lot. My kids also want nothing. Well, maybe video games.

You can’t miss what you’ve never known.