Educational Setting for ​AuDHD Kindergartener

[Anonymous]

We're trying to decide on the best educational environment for our AuDHD kid when he starts Kindergarten. We know it might be trial and error to find the right setting, but we're looking for input from parents who have a similar child.

He's very bright and enjoys being with others, but he struggles with poor attention. He does well in a smaller setting, but we're nervous about private and the stories we've heard about ND kids getting counseled out.

An IEP and a paraeducator in public would be amazing, but we don't think he'll get assigned a para because of how high-functioning he is. In a classroom of 25 kids, he'll just zone out when it's a non-preferred subject and the teacher may not notice because of the ratios.

Advice?

[Anonymous]

You might be able to get a shared para if you can't get a 1:1. I would move forward with the public system and see how it goes, even as you check out privates.

[Anonymous]

You're considering only public or mainstream privates?

In public, even a shared para will be very hard to get, the child needs to be significantly impaired. Otherwise, it's of course nice to have, but public schools don't give out "nice to have" resources.

Generally, there are 2 schools of thought about K and elementary:

1) one is put in public and see what happens, kids can mature, they may benefit from general education setting and surprise you on the upside. It's possible in theory, yes. The downside is that the public standards are so low, without behavioral issues, it could be 2-3 years before the school would tell you that the child is below grade level or has issues in the classroom. By then you will have an uphill battle to close the gap, and there may be negative associations with school, low self esteem, etc. Bullying is real in elementary, and can start early, even in very good public clusters schools are understaffed and don't have enough staff to monitor lunch, recess, etc. So you would be taking a risk.

2) The other approach is to front load interventions and educational supports, so that the child learns in small classroom environment with a lot of individualized attention, and gets good foundational skills with whatever level of scaffolding he needs for this ASD/ADHD. Once he is in later elementary and more mature, you will be able to tell if he can be mainstreamed into a public with supports or he needs to stay in private specialized setting (which can absolutely include a HS diploma track). The downside is that it's expensive and the peers will also be ND, some possibly with more issues than your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're trying to decide on the best educational environment for our AuDHD kid when he starts Kindergarten. We know it might be trial and error to find the right setting, but we're looking for input from parents who have a similar child.

He's very bright and enjoys being with others, but he struggles with poor attention. He does well in a smaller setting, but we're nervous about private and the stories we've heard about ND kids getting counseled out.

An IEP and a paraeducator in public would be amazing, but we don't think he'll get assigned a para because of how high-functioning he is. In a classroom of 25 kids, he'll just zone out when it's a non-preferred subject and the teacher may not notice because of the ratios.

Advice?

We're in the same boat - sending ours to K next year and we're exploring both options, Public and Private (all mainstream). IEP definitely will not give much but some speech and some OT, but nothing else - also "high functioning. I am too concerned about some classroom sizes going beyond 22 frankly, let alone 25...we're also not pursuing any of the specialized schools, Maddux, Ivymount, etc. Have you considered those?

I like the two approaches the other parent made though I would say if your child is fairly high functioning, I would pursue private with a lot of front loading of private supports as possible in the early years with hopes they are mature enough to go public later on. I think that's what we're leaning towards because we also worry without behavioral problems, thank god, our kiddo will go under the radar as standards are low in public.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're trying to decide on the best educational environment for our AuDHD kid when he starts Kindergarten. We know it might be trial and error to find the right setting, but we're looking for input from parents who have a similar child.

He's very bright and enjoys being with others, but he struggles with poor attention. He does well in a smaller setting, but we're nervous about private and the stories we've heard about ND kids getting counseled out.

An IEP and a paraeducator in public would be amazing, but we don't think he'll get assigned a para because of how high-functioning he is. In a classroom of 25 kids, he'll just zone out when it's a non-preferred subject and the teacher may not notice because of the ratios.

Advice?

Would you tell the mainstream privates about the dx upfront?

[Anonymous]

We have been happy at our public, but it’s a Maryland Focus school so the kinder class has 16 kids. He has an IEP, a kinder teacher who happens to have a masters in special Ed as well as a masters in elem Ed, and it’s been a great year. Not perfect, but good.

Friends at private have had a mixed bag of experiences. Mainstream privates haven’t really worked out - small classes are great but the ND kid sticks out even in kinder in classes designed to homogenous. My kid has friends at recess, but the ND kids at mainstream privates don’t really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're trying to decide on the best educational environment for our AuDHD kid when he starts Kindergarten. We know it might be trial and error to find the right setting, but we're looking for input from parents who have a similar child.

He's very bright and enjoys being with others, but he struggles with poor attention. He does well in a smaller setting, but we're nervous about private and the stories we've heard about ND kids getting counseled out.

An IEP and a paraeducator in public would be amazing, but we don't think he'll get assigned a para because of how high-functioning he is. In a classroom of 25 kids, he'll just zone out when it's a non-preferred subject and the teacher may not notice because of the ratios.

Advice?

Would you tell the mainstream privates about the dx upfront?

We are --- some mainstream privates you'd be surprised have plenty of ASD and/or ADHD kids. I think from all the forum discussions on this and the private school one - disclosing is your best bet so there are no surprises later on...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You might be able to get a shared para if you can't get a 1:1. I would move forward with the public system and see how it goes, even as you check out privates.

This is great! Thank you for the idea.

[Anonymous]

What’s his developmental age?

[Anonymous]

I went the public route, and it was not a good decision. The class was 24 kids and 1 teacher and it was just too chaotic for my son.

If I had to do it again, I would go to a private k program- not sped. The one I researched and wish I had gone with was Geneva in Potomac. Although the class is not small, there are many teachers and it might have been the mid-ground that my child needed to adjust to larger classes.

I wish I could do things over!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're considering only public or mainstream privates?

In public, even a shared para will be very hard to get, the child needs to be significantly impaired. Otherwise, it's of course nice to have, but public schools don't give out "nice to have" resources.

Generally, there are 2 schools of thought about K and elementary:

1) one is put in public and see what happens, kids can mature, they may benefit from general education setting and surprise you on the upside. It's possible in theory, yes. The downside is that the public standards are so low, without behavioral issues, it could be 2-3 years before the school would tell you that the child is below grade level or has issues in the classroom. By then you will have an uphill battle to close the gap, and there may be negative associations with school, low self esteem, etc. Bullying is real in elementary, and can start early, even in very good public clusters schools are understaffed and don't have enough staff to monitor lunch, recess, etc. So you would be taking a risk.

2) The other approach is to front load interventions and educational supports, so that the child learns in small classroom environment with a lot of individualized attention, and gets good foundational skills with whatever level of scaffolding he needs for this ASD/ADHD. Once he is in later elementary and more mature, you will be able to tell if he can be mainstreamed into a public with supports or he needs to stay in private specialized setting (which can absolutely include a HS diploma track). The downside is that it's expensive and the peers will also be ND, some possibly with more issues than your child.

Thank you! Are you referring to a specialized private school for children who are ND? There's just one in our area and it starts at 3rd grade. It's for kids who are 2E. We feel like we're floating adrift for the early elementary years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're trying to decide on the best educational environment for our AuDHD kid when he starts Kindergarten. We know it might be trial and error to find the right setting, but we're looking for input from parents who have a similar child.

He's very bright and enjoys being with others, but he struggles with poor attention. He does well in a smaller setting, but we're nervous about private and the stories we've heard about ND kids getting counseled out.

An IEP and a paraeducator in public would be amazing, but we don't think he'll get assigned a para because of how high-functioning he is. In a classroom of 25 kids, he'll just zone out when it's a non-preferred subject and the teacher may not notice because of the ratios.

Advice?

Would you tell the mainstream privates about the dx upfront?

We are --- some mainstream privates you'd be surprised have plenty of ASD and/or ADHD kids. I think from all the forum discussions on this and the private school one - disclosing is your best bet so there are no surprises later on...

OP here. Same question as the PP. We're inclined to disclose upfront. Many private schools even the laid-back ones have an observation day and a life-long educator might be able to pick up on the fact that he's ND. I don't want to play coy, but I don't want him to be discriminated against either. If given the chance, I think he would thrive. It's such a dilemma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're trying to decide on the best educational environment for our AuDHD kid when he starts Kindergarten. We know it might be trial and error to find the right setting, but we're looking for input from parents who have a similar child.

He's very bright and enjoys being with others, but he struggles with poor attention. He does well in a smaller setting, but we're nervous about private and the stories we've heard about ND kids getting counseled out.

An IEP and a paraeducator in public would be amazing, but we don't think he'll get assigned a para because of how high-functioning he is. In a classroom of 25 kids, he'll just zone out when it's a non-preferred subject and the teacher may not notice because of the ratios.

Advice?

Would you tell the mainstream privates about the dx upfront?

We are --- some mainstream privates you'd be surprised have plenty of ASD and/or ADHD kids. I think from all the forum discussions on this and the private school one - disclosing is your best bet so there are no surprises later on...

OP here. Same question as the PP. We're inclined to disclose upfront. Many private schools even the laid-back ones have an observation day and a life-long educator might be able to pick up on the fact that he's ND. I don't want to play coy, but I don't want him to be discriminated against either. If given the chance, I think he would thrive. It's such a dilemma.

Oh absolutely, hence why I have struggled so much with the ASD/DSM definition and just the overall labeling culture in our society. Often folks try to reassure me that well if the school doesn't accept them once you're up front then it is not the best school - which I don't fully buy or agree with. Often time, it's a judgement call from the school - accept the kid and see how they do, how important are the parents/ aka donors, and/or if siblings are already there. There's a lot that gets factored into a school decision - so I am hoping it's not a label or two that will deter privates...I say go for it, and if you're sensing any doubt from the school, then it's there loss frankly, and onto the next private. There's plenty of private options in our area, both NT and ND or mixed. I'm certainly will land somewhere inclusive, understanding, and fairly NT since I too believe our child will thrive irrespective of their label.

[Anonymous]

Maddux is great for this profile.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went the public route, and it was not a good decision. The class was 24 kids and 1 teacher and it was just too chaotic for my son.

If I had to do it again, I would go to a private k program- not sped. The one I researched and wish I had gone with was Geneva in Potomac. Although the class is not small, there are many teachers and it might have been the mid-ground that my child needed to adjust to larger classes.

I wish I could do things over!

That's my concern right there. We'll apply broadly, disclose the dx after the hopefully favorable observation, and see how it goes.