Telling adult child to quit job?
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Anonymous
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My daughter has just started a job at a café. She went from being a total introvert to talking to multiple customers 5 days a week. + it takes her an hour and a half to get to her job. And she’s there from 8 to 5. Shes in charge of opening the place and closing, standing in front of register, making food (sandwiches) and smoothies and being a barista, and taking deliveries. Its a solo shift everytime. She just got hired officially yesterday and I’m thinking of using some sort of Veto right and telling her no. I don’t want her mental health to be terrible. She is in her early twenties and said this is a job only for about a year. She just wanted to try. Should her father and I make her stop going? |
Anonymous
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It sounds like a difficult job, but you have no veto right...and I'm not sure what you think the impact on her might be. If she's an introvert, for example, this might pull her out of her shell a bit.
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Anonymous
| Is she actually complaining about this job? Or is this just you being a busy body? |
Anonymous
| She wanted to try; let her try. You're going to do way more damage sending the message that you don't think she can do it than you will letting her work a normal crummy job like millions of other 20 somethings. |
Anonymous
| No way. She’s got to figure this out on her own. That’s life! Live and learn. If you never let her, how will she ever grow up? |
Anonymous
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op here Forgot to mention that her two days off are random every week. For example this week its wednesday and friday. so she’ll work both saturday and sunday. she falls asleep at 8:30pm when she used to sleep at 11pm so tired is an understatement so to the PP i think her body is complaining |
Anonymous
| Unless you were the one who pressured her into this job (in which case you should say sorry), stay out of it. |
Anonymous
| Is she complaining about the job at all? If not, then I don’t see why you’d feel the need to get involved. |
Anonymous
I think you're the only one complaining. She is doing what young people do. They work hard. Or they should anyway. Stay out of it. |
Anonymous
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OMG, shes probably glad to be out from under your thumb.
The only negative here is the commute. |
Anonymous
+1 She'll acclimate to the fatigue. She will also figure out where to cut corners and rest at less busy times. |
Anonymous
| Let her work hard op. It’s good learning. I would highly recommend against intervening at this point. You want your child to be able to support themselves and sometimes that means working jobs that aren’t perfect in the beginning. She is an adult and needs to figure these things out on her own |
Anonymous
+1 If she wants to tough it out, let her try. Stop helicoptering your ADULT daughter. Seems like this job will teach her some grit, and you are depriving her of this chance. I get you think it's too hard for her, but let her try. My 15 yr old DD is involved in an activity that I thought would be too much for her, but she's dealing with it. She's learning to juggle school and this activity, and I can see that it is teaching her some grit. She's an adult. Why on earth do you think you have any veto power about her job? Crazy. |
Anonymous
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OP here, my daughter is not some amy schumer character in ”Trainwreck” or ”Snatched”
I just am helicoptering cant help it! |
Anonymous
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Ask her how she feels, and mention alternatives she may not have considered. The hours and commute mean the job might be a net negative and she might be better off pursuing some education or training instead.
But she's mid 20s, so she must have already investigated education and career options, right? Did she have some disability in her youth? |