Preferred names in MCPS

[Anonymous]

My daughter isn’t LGBT, but I am hoping to find someone with experience with preferred names in MCPS.

My ex has a history of DV, including attempted kidnapping, and it is important to me that he not know where my kid goes to school. I would change her name, but MD doesn’t allow secret name changes.

I want her to have a normal high school experience but I am concerned that her name will appear on an athletic roster or cast list for the play or something and be visible to google. I see that MCPS commits to using preferred names on those things if requested, and I wonder if it would be possible for her to just pick a new name.

Does anyone have experience with their child using a preferred name in MCPS and if so how good a job do they do of being consistent in using the new name?

[Anonymous]

For informal things, they’ve always been happy to use DC’s preferred name. This year they filled out the name change form, which does not require parental approval or legal name change, and now even the official docs - email address, school ID, class rosters, etc - use DC’s preferred name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For informal things, they’ve always been happy to use DC’s preferred name. This year they filled out the name change form, which does not require parental approval or legal name change, and now even the official docs - email address, school ID, class rosters, etc - use DC’s preferred name.

That’s what I want — all those things to use the other name.

[Anonymous]

Does anyone have experience?

[Anonymous]

Come high school, you get some say in what is released but our experience is they don't follow it at all. We've said no to any names, photographs on social media and other things and our child is put on them all regularly. We have a situation where things need to be kept private too.

[Anonymous]

OP, my child filled out the form you’re thinking of last year. School is 100 percent consistent on using the name - legal name only shows up on a handful of things but preferred name is on rosters in class, certificates, student ID, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, my child filled out the form you’re thinking of last year. School is 100 percent consistent on using the name - legal name only shows up on a handful of things but preferred name is on rosters in class, certificates, student ID, etc.

Have there been "mistakes"? I am particularly wondering about things that would be visible from outside, like sports team rosters or lists of students getting awards etc . . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, my child filled out the form you’re thinking of last year. School is 100 percent consistent on using the name - legal name only shows up on a handful of things but preferred name is on rosters in class, certificates, student ID, etc.

Have there been "mistakes"? I am particularly wondering about things that would be visible from outside, like sports team rosters or lists of students getting awards etc . . .

I don’t really know how it works, but I would think outside awards that the school system announces might be a bigger problem than school-based announcements. For example, if a student is a National Merit scholar (which is based on the PSAT), the school would probably just use the list of students that was given to them by the organization, and the organization might even publish its own announcements, independent of MCPS. I don’t know about the College Board’s current policy for preferred names, but when I took the PSAT (in the Dark Ages), legal names were required. The entire culture has changed, so it might not be an issue, and I’m sure there are some kind of processes for cases like yours, but since confidentiality regarding your daughter’s identity is critical, I’d just recommend checking specifically on any similar situations that might be relevant and not rely on general policy.

[Anonymous]

Unrelated f/u question, as it seems like folks here may know: what is MCPS’s process for changing the recorded sex of a student?