Cat seems to be nearing the end. When did you know it was time to say goodbye?

[Anonymous]

My 16 year old cat has been sick for a while--probably cancer. But she was perky enough, able to eat and drink, use the litter box, purring. Now she seems really lethargic, doesn't want to eat much at all, seems to be having some trouble with her back end. She's still purring. But all she wants to do is curl up next to me, or on the bathmat.

I just don't know what to do. I'm so sad.

When did you know?

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry, but the time is now. You are in the time when quality of life is diminished but true suffering has not begun. This is the most compassionate time to release your cat; prolonging it now will only be to postpone your grief and will be at the cat’s expense. Please honor her by giving her gift of compassionate release. Hugs to you and your baby.

[Anonymous]

It was really hard for me to know when. I almost felt like I needed a grown-up's "permission" to proceed (the vet). I could tell when she wasn't herself - not eating or drinking and starting to want to be alone that she was in pain and it was time. I had her put to sleep at home and she died in my arms. It was expensive but worth it. She'd have been so scared and miserable at the vet's.

[Anonymous]

I've had to make this decision for two cats and I understand how difficult it is. I think when you reach the point of asking if it's time, it's probably time. A peaceful passing is the last gift we're able to give them. I'm sorry for your heartache.

[Anonymous]

I echo what everyone else has said. My 19-year-old cat seemed to be doing pretty well until she wasn't. She was steadily losing weight, although we couldn't find a reason. Then she stopped eating altogether.

I tried several appetite stimulants, none of which helped. At the same time, she'd still purr and curl up on my lap, which made the decision harder. But in late March, I had to have her put to sleep. It was a horrible, wrenching experience, although I was able to have it done at home with me holding her and had a very gentle, compassionate vet. And while I was so sad that she was gone, I think a lot of my mourning had already been done in her last weeks.

[Anonymous]

OP, the right time is when you are ready

It is unreasonable pressure, to place on yourself, thinking there is a precise "right" time. Please be kind to yourself.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I’m so grateful for these helpful and kind and compassionate responses. I feel like I will call the vet Tuesday (when the kids are back at school).

Thank you all so much for the comfort.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the above posters that say the time is probably now. I'm so sorry. It's really hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m so grateful for these helpful and kind and compassionate responses. I feel like I will call the vet Tuesday (when the kids are back at school).

Thank you all so much for the comfort.

I’m so sorry to hear your news. Good luck. I have two older pets so appreciate your note. A third pet was injured by another animal and clearly required being put to sleep. But It’s a much harder decision when it’s not so cut and dry.

What and how will you inform your kids? That’s a part I struggle with too.

[Anonymous]

When my dog turned 8, my vet had me make a list of her 5 favorite things. Running on the beach, long walks after dinner, roadtrips (or any ride in the car really), tricks for French fries, sneaking onto the bed in the mornings for some cuddles. Every year, I looked back at the list and marked off the things she could no longer do. I got through 3 of them and realized waiting for the last 2 to disappear was just letting her suffer.

It may be a little late in the game for you to objectively do that, but I recommend it to everyone else. It was still an incredibly emotional ordeal, but it gave me some peace to know that her quality of life was really not there anymore.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry, OP, but it does sound like you have reached that point when it would be compassionate to let her go. For us, it was very obvious, because our old boy went downhill very fast over the course of two days. All I can say is that I'm sending you a big hug. We love them so much and it is hard to let go, but I know it was right to give him peace. The kids and I look at pictures of him often and share stories and memories and it helps.

[Anonymous]

I just had to put my 17 year old cat down last month. He had been losing a lot of weight and wasn't able to use the litterbox or eat much towards the end. Our vet put him on antibiotics because a couple of weeks prior he had been having diarrhea but those pills made him throw up.. a lot. It was really hard to say goodbye. I actually tested positive for Covid the day before and was transparent about the situation with my vet but they made accommodations for us. Our babysitter came to watch the kids and I was on video chat with my sister and husband (who is currently deployed to Europe.)

I'm so sorry you're going through this really difficult time. The hardest thing after saying good bye was just seeing ghost movements around the house that'd remind me of him. It's hard. Hugs, OP.

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry OP. I struggled with the “when” for my 16 year old kitty. I agree with the PP that it helped that the vet was gentle and encouraging that it was ok to let her go.

Sending you big hugs.

[Anonymous]

Oh OP, I am so very sorry for what you are going through right now. 😿

My sixteen-yr. old cat was exhibiting the same symptoms last month + sadly I had no choice but to put him down.

His health took a huge turn for the worst within a span of a wk or so.

Suddenly lost interest in food & water, then I noticed he began falling a lot.
His back legs seemed to fail him and I foolishly thought he injured his legs during one of his falls.

Yes - I was in complete and full denial.
When it got to the point that I had to carry him to his food/water dishes as well as his litter box >
I just knew it was time.

Heartbroken and alone, I drove across town to a 24HR vet.
It was my birthday and was very painful for me, especially as this was my last remaining cat.
The sound of emptiness in my home was very painful.

But now I can see that I had the blessing of those sixteen yrs.
Also I held him in my arms as he was put to sleep and I am 1000% positive that my cat died peacefully, painlessly & quickly.

It is one of the saddest events of my life - however now that my grief is lessening, I am just grateful for the years we shared.
Not everyone is blessed enough to spend 16 yrs. w/their beloved pet.

And dying a peaceful and humane death is comforting to me.
Many pet owners have pets that get run over, killed by coyotes or just end up missing.

My sympathies to you. ♥️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m so grateful for these helpful and kind and compassionate responses. I feel like I will call the vet Tuesday (when the kids are back at school).

Thank you all so much for the comfort.

<3 we will be thinking of you and your cat