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Elementary School-Aged Kids
DD forged parent signature
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Anonymous
| When confronted, DD admitted to me that she "signed for mom" on a school assignment sheet because she was afraid that I would get mad at her for not showing me the sheet on time. She is 7 year old. As a punishment, I suspended her tv privilage for a month, cancelled her birthday party. Shall I inform her teacher - I think the teacher should know but am afraid she will be labeled as a liar in the eyes of her teacher. |
Anonymous
| While I understand your concern about this incident and the importance of encouraging absolute honesty as a family value, I think your punishment is too harsh. We're pretty strict parents, but cancelling a birthday party is just over the top. If I were your daughter, honestly, I'd be afraid to 'fess up to you too. I do think that going with her to explain and apologize to the teacher is appropriate, as is taking away TV privileges (though, again, a month seems a little excessive), but birthdays are so important to children -- please reconsider. |
Anonymous
| I have to agree with PP about cancelling the BD party (seems a little over the top). However you are right and what she did was wrong. Take her age and other factors into consideration when deciding how to deal with this. Having her confess to the teacher (in private) would seem to be more constructive and relative to the actual offense. |
Anonymous
I like the no TV and would request a meeting with the teacher for parent & child. I would keep the birthday party but give her 1 gift. The OP is on the right track since little things can become bigger things as children get older. Kids expelled/asked to leave a school and are right back out there at parties etc. |
Anonymous
| I have a neighbor who is very harsh on her daughter for the slightlest things (she's a major control freak) and her daughter is very sneaky. Her mom doesn't trust her at all and is always pumping my DD for info. So watch what you sow. |
Anonymous
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I agree that the punishment is too harsh, and as someone who myself used to do this type of thing is school I would actually be more concerned about addressing her motivation. My reason for doing this was the very high expectations that I thought I didn't measure up to and I prefered to sign the sheet myself than disappoint my parents. Looking bad, it was totally silly cause my grades were actually v good, eg I was too ashamed to show a B grade cause the expectation was A and above.
this why rather than focusing on punishment address the motivation. Tell her u love her no matter what sheet says, etc etc but that adding her signature is akin to lying. Reduce no tv to about a week and definitely give her the full party with all the gifts she wants. Personally, ikd leave it as mom daughter thing and wouldn't put her through having to tell tje teacher, but my own dd is still 1 so inm not expert on closeness in parent teacher interaction. In case u wonder, I grew up to be honest and adjusted person and no longer forge sheets or anything else [url] |
Anonymous
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I think telling her teacher was the best idea you had - actually, she should have had to tell the teacher.
TV, birthday party - too harsh, and not relevant. The "punishment" for lying is facing the responsibilities and perhaps having less trust. |
Anonymous
| A 7 yo's signature... the teacher probably already knows. Also agree with PP about reaping what you sow. Nip it in the bud but don't go overboard. |
Anonymous
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Agree with the pp who noted that by responding this way you are likely continuing the fear cycle. The kids I see who are heavily disciplined and are scared of their parents tend to become very adept at sneaking around and by high school this can be a real problem. The consequences need to fit the crime. I think fessing up to the teacher would be much more effective.
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Anonymous
| I did the same thing at her age and don't worry, I am not writing from prison. I forged my mom's initials more than once on my daily reading log. She was a single mom who worked super long hrs and she'd sometimes forget to sign it. I would also think about your DD's motivation for doing what she did. Is she normally a conscientious student? If so, don't sweat it. And the no-TV and no party is over the top. |
Anonymous
| No TV for one week seems fine or one week and two weekends if weekend is a big TV time but a month and no birthday party seems harsh. Also consequences without discussion are not as effective. Did you reassure her that it's better to tell you when she forgets about something? Why was she so scared or is that a copout on her part? |
Anonymous
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Op - your punishment is too harsh. Have her tell the teacher and 1 week w/o TV is more appropriate. As a mom of teen daughters, I know you don't want your daughter to feel lying is her only option to avoid harsh punishment. Good luck and lighten up
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Anonymous
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The punishment does not fit the crime. If the punishment for something this small (I understand it's serious, but it's still a relatively minor thing) is so harsh, how will you punish her when she actually does something really wrong?
Keep the birthday. TV viewing can be taken away for a month, but I think it'd be better to just do two weeks. |
Anonymous
| I agree the punishment is too harsh - cancelling a bd party is too much. Tell her you've thought it over and you'd like to discuss other punishments. But let her know if anything like this EVER happens again you will come down on her like a ton of bricks. |
Anonymous
I agree with this poster. Try to always have punishment fit crime- punitive punishments aren't really that useful. I would also let you daughter know that honesty is always valued more than anything. So that while you may not have been delighted the form was late, these things happen, and you would have been very happy if she came to you and was honest. Be careful not to expect perfection from kids - as adults we are not perfect, and neither are they! |