Would you give a Hanukkah gift in this situation?
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Anonymous
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My DH's family gathers every Sunday afternoon, to spend time together and eat dinner. Usually at our house. Most of us are Christian, but DH's sister's husband is Jewish, and they celebrate both sets of holidays. In the past, when we've been together when the sun goes down during Hanukkah, we light the candles, and the Jewish parent leads the blessing, and then the kids exchange little gifts. But, the adults don't exchange gifts. When we gather at Christmas, there are gifts for kids and adults.
This summer, my BIL's mother came for several months to provide pandemic childcare. We saw her frequently, because she'd bring the kids over to play with their cousins, and she came to Sunday dinner. If she came for dinner, she always brought something, like a bouquet of flowers. Tonight, when we were exchanging gifts, she had sent Hanukkah gifts for my kids. She and her husband are coming to visit in a few days, and next Sunday they'll come to dinner. I kind of assume they'll bring me a hostess gift/Hanukkah gift, and something for the kids. Should I get them (the grandparents) gifts? What is the expectation here. |
Anonymous
| I would say yes but I don’t have any actual suggestions. |
Anonymous
OP here, I am not sure if a gift at all would be the right Hong but if it is, I assume the right thing would be a little hostess gift type thing? Some nice soaps or a picture frame, or something like that? |
Anonymous
| Thing |
Anonymous
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Hanukah is minor Jewish holiday. Jews outside of America do not exchange gifts on Hanukah.
They are not keeping kosher if they come to your home for meals so they most likely are not that into their religion. Why not just give on Xmas as is your custom. They provided hannukah gifts as was their family's custom |
Anonymous
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If you do not give brother in law Hanukkah gifts then it seems odd to give them to his parents. It was very kind of them to include your kids with gifts but I am sure they were happy to do it and also happy that everyone enjoys the Hanukkah candles together.
Confession - I am an adult who just does not get into receiving random trinkets which often do not get used. |
Anonymous
| Jewish person here. If you are so inclined, remember them at Christmas. |
Anonymous
| Hanukkah gifts are usually for children. I don't think adults expect to receive gifts at all. You can probably offer them the same level of hospitality you would for a normal Sunday? |
Anonymous
Or a box of chocolates. Something small, but says “I’m thinking of you.” |
Anonymous
If I was seeing them on Christmas, I would. But opening up the idea that I give gifts to my in laws in laws on holidays they aren’t present for is something I would rather not do. I have a lot of these kind of once or twice removed relatives (SIL’s mother, niece’s boyfriend, caregiver to elderly aunt) who might be at my house one Christmas, in which case they get a gift, but they don’t get a gift mailed for subsequent holidays. They are flying in for out of town for a week son i can’t invite them to Christmas. |
Anonymous
| So you would give a gift to the parents but not the son when they are both there? |
Anonymous
I guess in my mind, if you are an adult you get one holiday gift from me. DH has a cousin who will come to my house on Christmas Eve. He will get a present even though my relatives who come for Christmas Eve and Christmas will wait for the next day to get theirs. I am sort of with you on the gifts but I kind of assume that an adult who has given me multiple gifts in a year is an adult who enjoys gifts? I think I am going to do something small. Not candy because one of her grandchildren has food allergies. |