You can't be married. You sound dim and immature. The wedding isn't about just where to have the party. But, a lot of baby brides get caught up in the party and forge the rest and soon find themselves divorced. Good luck OP! |
Well if husband to be was religious that would be a different story. He is being pressured by his parents to have the wedding in a church. Op and her fiance should have the wedding they want! |
Yes, the fiancé is Catholic. The point you’re ignoring is the first pp said one should be Catholic. There’s no should about it with the Catholic church. That’s a must. |
Then why doesn't fiancé speak up? Anyone can see where this is going. Next OP will be on the Family forum crying about her MIL and how her husband doesn't stand up to her and everyone will tell her she has a DH problem. As she plans the baptism of their first baby. |
I said that. Then I clarified. I said "should" because most people getting married in the Church are there because they want to be, they are in good standing. The fiancé is Catholic, being born and raised, but seems now to be lapsed. If you're lapsed should you still consider yourself Catholic? |
You are making zero sense. There is no should about it with a Catholic wedding. It’s a must or there’s no Catholic wedding. |
You’re debating irrelevancies. He’s baptized Catholic. As far as the Church is concerned, that makes him Catholic. But “merely” being Catholic doesn’t translate to “properly disposed,” as discussed in an earlier post. It doesn’t matter if a baptized Catholic “thinks” or “feels” or “believes” they’re Catholic. As far as the Church is concerned they are. |
He is a Catholic in the eyes of the church. We know this. But, how he identifies is another thing. Which goes back to OP's point that should they just go along with it for appeasement or is it a mockery? They can have the Catholic wedding, but should they? |
Nope. I’m pointing to the factual inaccuracy in your original post that you tried to pretend didn’t matter in your follow up post. And you don’t like it so now you’re pretending it’s “irrelevant”. Facts are never irrelevant. |
That’s all that matters if he wants to be married in a Catholic church. What’s a mockery is OP’s suggestion of lying. |
The non-Catholic spouse lying about agreeing to raise your kids to be Catholic is grounds for an invalid marriage. If he marries outside of the church at your beautiful venue without a dispensation, that too would be an invalid marriage. Either way you do it, you guys will not be married in the eyes of the Catholic church. This might not mean anything to you right now, but it is a guarantee that there will be problems in the future. Especially as children start showing up.
You should really, really reconsider getting married to each other. You might think you are in love, but you are not a good fit at all. |
Your boyfriend is Catholic, practicing or not; this is the church he will feel most comfortable in for a wedding service. Many lapsed/Cafeteria Catholics find the ritual of the mass to be sacred and soothing- even if it’s a mainly secular appreciation. It’s tradition and people mentioning baptism are absolutely correct, this will be an expectation for your future children. It sounds like you would just prefer to skip the hassle and don’t have a strong aversion to being married in the church. I would just go along- there is nothing wrong with raising any future children with an understanding of Theology, Art and History- you can provide the context and your own Humanist perspective. |
I don't think that really matters. Op's fiance isn't practicing and OP isn't Catholic. |
You’re not responding to anything I wrote. If nobody’s Catholic then there’s not going to be a Catholic ceremony. No “should” or “ought to” about it. If one party is Catholic by the Church’s measure, there can be a Catholic ceremony but the requirements go beyond mere Baptism. |
Op, does your fiance want to raise kids to be Catholic? |