She is confused because Orthodox Catholics are not a thing. It is a term some made up recently and it makes zero sense. |
The relevant point is that if you have 4+ kids and 2 WOHPs, people who require sleep don't have time to dedicate to those career and adequately parent. Even Amy Coney Barrett said she couldn't have parented her brood of 7 and had the career she had without help from both her aunt and her husband doing a lot of the childcare/housecare duties. |
I think part of the reason having 4+ is easier is because you give up on having two big careers and you and your spouse just focus on being parents. I think with 2 and even 3, you and your spouse can kind of delude yourselves into thinking you can do everything. |
No that’s not quite right- if you are Catholic and married, you have to be *open* to having children. BC is prohibited, NFP is the standard, but you are supposed to prayerfully discern when and if you have another child. You might discern to have fewer children because of debilitating morning sickness, post partum depression, significant special needs, or because there are two meaningful, demanding careers between you and your spouse. As a mother of 5, my problem with this article is that he describes the “ideal” family size as being a large one. Obviously there are beautiful families of all sizes. Normally I wouldn’t quibble too much with word choice, but I think he should have argued that big families can be wonderful too and that they offer a glimpse into the value of landing the helicopter. |
Lots of parents fulfillment and joy out of seeing their intensive time investment in 1 or 2 children pay off. When they win awards for academics or special skills and get admitted to selective schools or camps, you feel great about all the time you spent together helping them hone those talents and achieve those elite goals.
I know there can be high-achievers from large families, usually the oldest child, but you just can't spend as much time with your golden child when you have 4-5 ankle biters needing this and that. |
This is true for me. I have an only and I find every milestone and achievement and development so rewarding, whether it's learning to read or hearing she had terrific manners at a friend's house. I see the appeal of more kids (I love this one dearly, why not have more kids to love). But I also recognize that with multiple kids, my relationship withy DD would change, and I like our dynamic a lot. There's something very pleasant about her being my only daughter and me being her only mother. I know my DH feels similarly. I also don't find parenting overwhelming. To me, one is just right. |
It's relaxing for me to hang out with my kids, actually. Not snark, |
Same. Youngest of six and none of us had large families. My parents were great people but it was a lot. I was raised a lot by my siblings and that got tiresome. They all knew what was best for me, etc. Important emotional things fell through the cracks. We had plenty of money and wanted for nothing, including education but there just was not enough parenting to go around, my mom was a SAHM too. It’s not the same to get nurturing from siblings. You want your parents more. |
Well NFP doesn’t really work so so much for “discerning.” |
It’s kind of pathetic to look for ROI in your children. Is that all your life is about? Intensely investing in your kids and looking forward to bragging about them when they perform well? |
That’s just not true. I am in a group of higher order multiples, so many of us had 3 plus a sibling in that time frame and a couple had quadruplets. They are well cared for children. |
There is so much wrong with what you’ve just written. What you’ve described isn’t a healthy dynamic either. |
[youtube] Lots of parents fulfillment and joy out of seeing their intensive time investment in 1 or 2 children pay off. When they win awards for academics or special skills and get admitted to selective schools or camps, you feel great about all the time you spent together helping them hone those talents and achieve those elite goals.
I know there can be high-achievers from large families, usually the oldest child, but you just can't spend as much time with your golden child when you have 4-5 ankle biters needing this and that
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I’m pretty sure tim and his wife had all their kids early…they didn’t keep going for an infinite number. Six isn’t sixteen. |