Boyfriend doesn’t take me on dates anymore

[Anonymous]

Tough love: He doesn't like you anymore.

He probably liked the chase more than he liked you in the first place? Why is he still around? Inertia, probably.

[Anonymous]

[mastodon]

Anonymous wrote:Tough love: He doesn't like you anymore.

He probably liked the chase more than he liked you in the first place? Why is he still around? Inertia, probably.

Yes I think he's trying to get her to break up with him and think it's her idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[mastodon]

Anonymous wrote:Tough love: He doesn't like you anymore.

He probably liked the chase more than he liked you in the first place? Why is he still around? Inertia, probably.

Yes I think he's trying to get her to break up with him and think it's her idea.

OP here. This is definitely not what’s going on. He’s very happy in the relationship and in love. I think he just thinks he “won” me, so now he thinks we can be couch potatoes for life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The honeymoon is over, this is who he really is.

Yup, this.

+1 and he also likely exceeded his dating budget and is cutting back bc he “has you.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s landed the prize, now he thinks he doesn’t have to work anymore.

OP here. I sense this a little bit. But I’d say the way he works for the prize has changed over time. He doesn’t plan the dates but he does do the dishes, is a good listener when I have a bad day, showers me with attentive sex, is kind to my friends and family, etc. He is honestly a great guy. So I’ve been wondering if maybe I’m being high maintenance for wanting the dates back?

How much does he make? This, my friends is a perfect example of dating leverage. Early investment is key. Now though he’s converting acts of service bc they’re more sustainable.

[Anonymous]

Sony you go out at all or is it just no longer lavish dates? Also, any successfully relationship hinges on communication. Have you asked him WHY he doesn't want to go out, even when you offer to pay?

If everything else in your relationship is great and he's kind and considerate elsewhere, part of me wonders if it is finance related plus being the type that doesn't want a woman to pay. Or feels uncomfortable with it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[mastodon]

Anonymous wrote:Tough love: He doesn't like you anymore.

He probably liked the chase more than he liked you in the first place? Why is he still around? Inertia, probably.

Yes I think he's trying to get her to break up with him and think it's her idea.

I disagree, if that were true he wouldn’t still be treating her well in every other domain but planning expensive dates. He’s broke is the problem.

[Anonymous]

This is pretty normal. People don’t have a lifetime of going on lavish dates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m totally in love with my boyfriend. We’ve been together little under a year. We enjoy on another tremendously and just fit well.

In the beginning of dating he had to plan lavish dates on a weekly basis. they were really nice and would pick up on little things I’d mentioned that I like here and there. This lasted for 3-4 months and then ended. He doesn’t really take me out anymore. I still enjoy the time we spend together, but I’d like to go on dates that he plans sometimes (say 1-2 times a month).

I’ve offered to take us out a few times to try and spice it back up but each time he has declined. Would you mention that you want the dates back? Or just let it be? I truly do enjoy our regular day to day time.

Welcome to the real person phase. The honeymoon part of dating is over. Get used to it or find another man to return to the honeymoon phase.

[Anonymous]

Are dates really just for the honeymoon phase? I mean I don’t think you need to have weekly tickets to Kennedy Center events once the relationship is established, but a monthly or bimonthly dinner date is something happily married people do, no?

[Anonymous]

If he’s getting the milk for free…

[Anonymous]

OP here. I’m not sure if he can afford to take me out as frequently and lavishly as he did in the beginning, but I don’t think he is broke. He buys stuff for himself on a regular basis.

[Anonymous]

Start making plans with your girlfriends, like going out of town, spa and dinner days and watch his hunting instincts wake up again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are dates really just for the honeymoon phase? I mean I don’t think you need to have weekly tickets to Kennedy Center events once the relationship is established, but a monthly or bimonthly dinner date is something happily married people do, no?

No, people who like art and culture go out for concerts regularly. If you book in advance, some tickets are as little as $25. I would be bored to hell in such a relationship where we never go out for anything interesting, and my partner is not interested in planning. It doesn't need to be "lavish", but he can still show he cares on a tight budget

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I’m not sure if he can afford to take me out as frequently and lavishly as he did in the beginning, but I don’t think he is broke. He buys stuff for himself on a regular basis.

I think he's cheap, broke/low on cash, doesn't care for you or some combination of these. If he accepts your invites, he would be forced to reciprocate (e.g. pay for something comparable himself). And he doesn't want to, thus he doesn't go when you invite.

I would break up: what future can you have if you have kids, need to plan summer camps, travel together etc.?