Why do so many Americans seem to dislike children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I must be American because I hate the experience of a culture where kids are everywhere all the time, at all hours of the night.

Then don't go to Wal-mart.

I've had the unfortunate experience to be so desparate enough to HAVE to go to a walmart at 11PM when nothing else was open and the amount of cranky, everly exhausted children that parents had dragged in there was pitiful.

What? I don't care if a kid is at Walmart at any hour. I'm not there for an adult experience.

Some cultures think you should take your small kids out to restaurants very late in the evening and just let them tizzy themselves to exhaustion. I don't care to be there for the tizzy.

If they are at wal-mart at 11, they were probably at Ruth Chris at 8.

We bring my daughter to Ruths Chris twice a month (she's 3), but we go at 5:30.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Let's face it: its not just Americans or any one culture. Irresponsible parents who want to make something "all about them" or "isn't Johnny especially special".....No, actually he's not, neither are you. You were invited as a guest, so act accordingly. Flying or going to a wedding or going to a gorgeous restaurant is not a national event free for all. It involves other people. SURPRISE.

I always find it odd that people think their every dining experience is so special and can't be spoiled in any manner. Is it because you can't really afford it and it is really that special?

It's not the money, it's the time. I have small kids too. My husband and I don't go to romantic, expensive dinners every week so when we do, we want to be able to have a night without squealing and running around. That's why we left the kids at home with grandpa.

So go to dinner at 8 when there won't be kids around, and go to places that aren't kid friendly. If you go at 5:30, my husband and I (who go out to eat often with our 3 year old) will be there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And, by the way, I'm about as American as you get and had babies, toddlers, kids of all ages running around at my wedding. Most of my friends have done this as well.. and I won't be vulgar with a price tag, but very nice weddings.

YOU may have thought it was nice, PP.

But trust me when I say that once your guests leave, the gossip begins. And I am certain that people were commenting on the chaos that results from "child-friendly" weddings.

It WAS nice - and if you re-read, I wasn't just referring to my own wedding - but those of many of my friends as well. Most guests opted not to bring their kids and got sitters, but we ended up with about 10 kids - including our adorable little ring bearer and flower girls. They all hung out together and played on the lawn through the reception. We had an outdoor wedding and you barely even noticed the kids, except for how cute they were all dressed up. Parents of the youngest either left early with them or took them back to their rooms for a sitter when the night got later. It's wonderful!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And, by the way, I'm about as American as you get and had babies, toddlers, kids of all ages running around at my wedding. Most of my friends have done this as well.. and I won't be vulgar with a price tag, but very nice weddings.

YOU may have thought it was nice, PP.

But trust me when I say that once your guests leave, the gossip begins. And I am certain that people were commenting on the chaos that results from "child-friendly" weddings.

By the way, you sound very uptight. Who "gossips" about kids being at a wedding??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Let's face it: its not just Americans or any one culture. Irresponsible parents who want to make something "all about them" or "isn't Johnny especially special".....No, actually he's not, neither are you. You were invited as a guest, so act accordingly. Flying or going to a wedding or going to a gorgeous restaurant is not a national event free for all. It involves other people. SURPRISE.



I always find it odd that people think their every dining experience is so special and can't be spoiled in any manner. Is it because you can't really afford it and it is really that special?



It's not the money, it's the time. I have small kids too. My husband and I don't go to romantic, expensive dinners every week so when we do, we want to be able to have a night without squealing and running around. That's why we left the kids at home with grandpa.



So go to dinner at 8 when there won't be kids around, and go to places that aren't kid friendly. If you go at 5:30, my husband and I (who go out to eat often with our 3 year old) will be there.

NP here and not the person you are quoting but, I agree with you! I'm happy to leave the 5:30pm dining hour to you and your young child (I agree that children learn how to behave in public by having the chance to experience dining in public) if you leave the 8pm dining hour to me when I choose to dine in an adult place without my child.

The problem I have is when I choose to go out at 8 or 9pm and there are overtired, cranky, loud kids with parents who seem oblivious to the irritation they are causing for other people.

[Anonymous]

Maybe I'm so self-centered or perhaps sympathetic or whatever, but children just don't really bother me unless they are my own and acting up. On an airplane if I am travelling without mine, I might put on headphones if there are children being loud. In a restaurant on a date-night with DH, I am so into my husband, I probably wouldn't notice any children. I had a very formal and expensive wedding ($80k sounds cheap to me), and I know there were plenty of children there (my little cousins, family friends, a bridesmaid who brought her newborn, etc.), but honestly, I don't really remember anyone being bothered by them in the least. By the way, I am American so it may just be a personality thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I'm so self-centered or perhaps sympathetic or whatever, but children just don't really bother me unless they are my own and acting up. On an airplane if I am travelling without mine, I might put on headphones if there are children being loud. In a restaurant on a date-night with DH, I am so into my husband, I probably wouldn't notice any children. I had a very formal and expensive wedding ($80k sounds cheap to me), and I know there were plenty of children there (my little cousins, family friends, a bridesmaid who brought her newborn, etc.), but honestly, I don't really remember anyone being bothered by them in the least. By the way, I am American so it may just be a personality thing.

I'm with you. I don't even notice kids when I'm out. They don't even register. Maybe because I have three WILD boys that I'm used to just tuning out the screaming, squealing, and occasional object flying through the air. Come to think of it I can't recall one single incident where a child annoyed me in a public space.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And, by the way, I'm about as American as you get and had babies, toddlers, kids of all ages running around at my wedding. Most of my friends have done this as well.. and I won't be vulgar with a price tag, but very nice weddings.

YOU may have thought it was nice, PP.

But trust me when I say that once your guests leave, the gossip begins. And I am certain that people were commenting on the chaos that results from "child-friendly" weddings.

And of course the drunk drama queen NEVER causes any problems ... come on, drunk 20-somethings or underaged LAX bros in Clarendon are 10x more annoying than some 5 y/o who's enjoying her/himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I must be American because I hate the experience of a culture where kids are everywhere all the time, at all hours of the night.

Me too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I'm so self-centered or perhaps sympathetic or whatever, but children just don't really bother me unless they are my own and acting up. On an airplane if I am travelling without mine, I might put on headphones if there are children being loud. In a restaurant on a date-night with DH, I am so into my husband, I probably wouldn't notice any children. I had a very formal and expensive wedding ($80k sounds cheap to me), and I know there were plenty of children there (my little cousins, family friends, a bridesmaid who brought her newborn, etc.), but honestly, I don't really remember anyone being bothered by them in the least. By the way, I am American so it may just be a personality thing.

I'm with you. I don't even notice kids when I'm out. They don't even register. Maybe because I have three WILD boys that I'm used to just tuning out the screaming, squealing, and occasional object flying through the air. Come to think of it I can't recall one single incident where a child annoyed me in a public space.

Ah. You're one of those moms whose children annoy others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read all the replies, but I am an American, and I agree with you. I will say this attitude varies regionally and probably with social class. The posts I read on DCUM are far far more hostile towards children's mere presence than I experienced growing up in a fairly small southern town.
I don't understand the need to constantly partition off children from the rest of life. I'm not talking about badly behaved children-- just children period. Sure, there are some events that are not child friendly, but many people on DCUM act like traveling with small kids or having them present at baby showers/funerals/etc is at best highly inconvenient and at worst unacceptable. I just don't get it, and I felt the same way long before I was a parent. Kids are people, too.

In a "fairly small southern town," your reception was probably an afternoon one with punch and desserts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there's something to the OP's point and that's it not all just about children going berserk. I think it's more common in American culture than some others for there to be more segregation between generations in general. I'm Hispanic, and where I come from most events are multigenerational. For example, holiday parties are always full-family events, even NYEve celebrations, with everybody from grandparents to grandkids partying past midnight, even if it's a more formal party. We have quinceanera parties where 3 or 4 generations are on the dance floor together. I grew up dancing salsa and merengue with dad, uncles, cousins. My husband always spends some time dancing with my mom at Christmas parties. Parents were even invited and partying the night away at my senior prom!

In cultures like mine, there is just a lot more socializing between the generations and therefore a greater tolerance for having kids around. As a result, you're less likely to get the evil eye if your kid acts up; people seem more inclined to give it a pass and not feel like your kid is a personal insult to your "adult time."

4 generations of one family are alive at the same time? There are at least 35 years between generations in my family. Who disciplines the kids who act up? Anyone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe I'm so self-centered or perhaps sympathetic or whatever, but children just don't really bother me unless they are my own and acting up. On an airplane if I am travelling without mine, I might put on headphones if there are children being loud. In a restaurant on a date-night with DH, I am so into my husband, I probably wouldn't notice any children. I had a very formal and expensive wedding ($80k sounds cheap to me), and I know there were plenty of children there (my little cousins, family friends, a bridesmaid who brought her newborn, etc.), but honestly, I don't really remember anyone being bothered by them in the least. By the way, I am American so it may just be a personality thing.

I'm with you. I don't even notice kids when I'm out. They don't even register. Maybe because I have three WILD boys that I'm used to just tuning out the screaming, squealing, and occasional object flying through the air. Come to think of it I can't recall one single incident where a child annoyed me in a public space.

I can guarantee yours are annoying plenty of others, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Let's face it: its not just Americans or any one culture. Irresponsible parents who want to make something "all about them" or "isn't Johnny especially special".....No, actually he's not, neither are you. You were invited as a guest, so act accordingly. Flying or going to a wedding or going to a gorgeous restaurant is not a national event free for all. It involves other people. SURPRISE.

I always find it odd that people think their every dining experience is so special and can't be spoiled in any manner. Is it because you can't really afford it and it is really that special?

It's not the money, it's the time. I have small kids too. My husband and I don't go to romantic, expensive dinners every week so when we do, we want to be able to have a night without squealing and running around. That's why we left the kids at home with grandpa.

So go to dinner at 8 when there won't be kids around, and go to places that aren't kid friendly. If you go at 5:30, my husband and I (who go out to eat often with our 3 year old) will be there.

I promise we don't go to romantic dinners at 5:30. If you were still there at 7:30, you'd see kids, depending on the place.

[Anonymous]

I agree that many cultures are more welcoming to children than Americans, though I think there are regional/ethnic variations. My experience in India in particular was that people were wonderfully welcoming to children. I'm normally pretty rah rah USA, but it does make me ashamed that Americans are less welcoming to children. I just don't get it - if you live in a busy urban area like DC there are lots of more serious issues that are constant issues - metro gropers, muggers, dangerous drivers, drunks - I just cannot comprehend how children in public places even make the list for so many people.