Why do so many Americans seem to dislike children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP is sure quiet about what culture she is from....

That being said America isn't unfriendly to kids. It's probably behind Mexico and India, but way ahead of Europe and Japan.

THis statement is just flat out wrong. First of all Europe is a continent with diverse cultures--the Swedes don't have the same views on children as the Greeks. Duh.
I grew up in Japan, and the Japanese are quite child-oriented.

I can speak for the Germans (where I'm from). They certainly don't like children in adult places, but are very accomodating with child-friendly options (like family cars on trains, don't bring your kids onto the business car). Don't mix the two, and make sure your kids are under control. There is little tolerance for brats.

You are right, it depends on your definition of child friendly. I was referring to birth rate which reflects the cultural and economic ability to have more or less kids. By that definition, a populus choosing not to have children, was the basis of my remarks not necessarily the ability to graciously host (Japanese) or tolerate screaming.

[Anonymous]

Most of these posters just seem to be misanthropes. I can't remember the last time I was bothered by other kids when out in public. The story from a PP about the 10-year old in the hardware store though, that was pretty awful.

[Anonymous]

Americans don't dislike children. We dislike the multitude of unruly, obnoxious brats who have invaded society at the hands of permissive child-rearing and entitled parents who are too tired/stupid/cowardly to enforce discipline and instead shrug off every mis or inappropriate behavior as "age appropriate" or cling to it as a deeper psychological issue so they can either blow it off or make a fuss over it and then dare ANYONE to question Snowflake's behavior. I grew up in a time when kids were welcome but also occupied their own sphere. Now everywhere you go, either out to dinner or a movie or a wine tasting or to someone's house for dinner the evening is about what the kids want and need, the rest of us in the public sphere are expected to "deal." Rein in your children and see how much more welcome they become.

+1000!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP this country is not the worst. Many Europeans are just as intolerant.

Agreed -way worse in London, just returned. I actually find Americans really love children and are more tolerant than many other cultures.

[Anonymous]

And, by the way, I'm about as American as you get and had babies, toddlers, kids of all ages running around at my wedding. Most of my friends have done this as well.. and I won't be vulgar with a price tag, but very nice weddings.

[Anonymous]

I haven't read all the replies, but I am an American, and I agree with you. I will say this attitude varies regionally and probably with social class. The posts I read on DCUM are far far more hostile towards children's mere presence than I experienced growing up in a fairly small southern town.
I don't understand the need to constantly partition off children from the rest of life. I'm not talking about badly behaved children-- just children period. Sure, there are some events that are not child friendly, but many people on DCUM act like traveling with small kids or having them present at baby showers/funerals/etc is at best highly inconvenient and at worst unacceptable. I just don't get it, and I felt the same way long before I was a parent. Kids are people, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am American and I agree with you. Kids are sent to the basement and by the time they are teens they are hitting the liquor cabinet and parents wonder why.

I had a party recently and invited somebody with 3 boys. They send a very nice note saying this was the first time since they had children they felt comfortable at a party.

My H is Italian and when we get together there are kid and they are involved. They help cook and clean and they are part of the conversation. The older kids help with the younger kids and it is a community experience.

At my party I had very nice food but I am sure there is food kids will like - not fries and nuggets but maybe some pasta with butter or rolls with a chicken cutlet.

We make sure the kids are part of our environment and then the parents will go outside and be a part of their enjoyment - maybe a game of flag football or something.

Parents often don't want to be bothered. Kids do need to give the parents some time to talk to their friends and not interrupt but if you sit them in the basement with XBox they don't understand how to do that without being banished.

My kids are loud and fun and interesting. They still know how to talk and act in public. They know there is a different way to act at Wing Hub vs. Blacks.

I'm sorry, there is nothing more annoying than having an adult conversation with someone and then to have their teen/tween constantly answer for the mother/father and/or completely derail the conversation at hand. Kids have their place, in the next room with other kids.

They don't interrupt becuase they have learned not to. They learned though practice. Really you have a teen that does not know how to have a conversation and when not to interrupt. Sad.

You are making a statement about your own kids, but not all kids have gotten this lesson. I've been in several situations where tweens were fully engaged in adult conversation and it was really awkward and irritating. Some kids don't know their place and maybe that's why people are annoyed by them.

So you are of the children-should-be-seen-and-not-heard school?

[Anonymous]

Americans don't dislike children. We dislike the multitude of unruly, obnoxious brats who have invaded society at the hands of permissive child-rearing and entitled parents who are too tired/stupid/cowardly to enforce discipline and instead shrug off every mis or inappropriate behavior as "age appropriate" or cling to it as a deeper psychological issue so they can either blow it off or make a fuss over it and then dare ANYONE to question Snowflake's behavior. I grew up in a time when kids were welcome but also occupied their own sphere. Now everywhere you go, either out to dinner or a movie or a wine tasting or to someone's house for dinner the evening is about what the kids want and need, the rest of us in the public sphere are expected to "deal." Rein in your children and see how much more welcome they become.

Totally agree!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a kid, and while I like her, and some/most of her friends, I don't, overall LIKE kids. After my daughter spent a week with her godmothers, I took her out to a nice Italian restaurant (nicer than Olive Garden) Wednesday as a welcome home. She's 9.

We sat, we ate, we talked, she showed me pictures of stuff she did and saw on her trip via her iPod Touch, we had a great time. Except that often we had to stop talking to wait for the kids at the next table to stop screaming/whining "Daaaaddy! Daddy I want chocolate! I want chocolate! DAAADDY!"

When my girl was young, if she started getting loud or screechy or whiney or in any way annoying others I took her outside to pull herself together. I am a single mom and would just alert a waitress or hostess or whoever that we were stepping outside. Now, if she's getting upset or bratty I tell her to go out and she can come back when she's changed her attitude or pulled her shit together. When she was throwing a fit at home over having to get dressed up about a wedding I finally told her I could RSVP that she won't be able to attend and I'll leave her home with a babysitter rather than have her negativity affecting the wedding, which isn't about her.

If on a flight she kicked the seat in front of her, once would be okay, followed by an apology. If she did it a second time and it wasn't an accident, I'd make her stand for the whole flight. I don't tolerate bad behavior, and am irritated by my fellow parents who do.

I'm pretty sure that the flight attendant wouldn't let you make your kid stabs for an entire flight. You know, seatbelt signs and all?

[Anonymous]

*stand, not stabs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:because Americans seem to think their kids can misbehave and call it "kids being kids." I am white american but I am on awe of all of the children I have seen abroad and particularly the asian children I see here- so well behaved. They never have meltdowns. They know when to sit quietly and how to interact with people of all ages. I don't think I am self centered because I don't want to listen to your child scream for no apparent reason, let you child kick my airplane seat, let your child pull my hair when I am waiting for a seat at a restaurant...

Obviously you have not been around many asian children under the age of 5. I am asian and the traditional approach seems to be to let the children grow up unfettered by discipline and rules until they reach school age. Until then they are wild little stinkers. Once they get to school age they seem to settle down.

[Anonymous]

I wonder why the childfree types have more tolerance for some drunk and/or shrieking 20-something in Clarendon than they do with a 3-5 year old being somewhat exuberant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And, by the way, I'm about as American as you get and had babies, toddlers, kids of all ages running around at my wedding. Most of my friends have done this as well.. and I won't be vulgar with a price tag, but very nice weddings.

YOU may have thought it was nice, PP.

But trust me when I say that once your guests leave, the gossip begins. And I am certain that people were commenting on the chaos that results from "child-friendly" weddings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:because Americans seem to think their kids can misbehave and call it "kids being kids." I am white american but I am on awe of all of the children I have seen abroad and particularly the asian children I see here- so well behaved. They never have meltdowns. They know when to sit quietly and how to interact with people of all ages. I don't think I am self centered because I don't want to listen to your child scream for no apparent reason, let you child kick my airplane seat, let your child pull my hair when I am waiting for a seat at a restaurant...

Obviously you have not been around many asian children under the age of 5. I am asian and the traditional approach seems to be to let the children grow up unfettered by discipline and rules until they reach school age. Until then they are wild little stinkers. Once they get to school age they seem to settle down.

Obviously, you seem to think you can speak for ALL Asian cultures.

b/c we all know that Koreans are EXACTLY like the Japanese

[Anonymous]

Of course. They learn from this if their parents are there. I have conversations with adults that are awkward and irritating and I suspect they spent their Tweens in the basement.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am American and I agree with you. Kids are sent to the basement and by the time they are teens they are hitting the liquor cabinet and parents wonder why.

I had a party recently and invited somebody with 3 boys. They send a very nice note saying this was the first time since they had children they felt comfortable at a party.

My H is Italian and when we get together there are kid and they are involved. They help cook and clean and they are part of the conversation. The older kids help with the younger kids and it is a community experience.

At my party I had very nice food but I am sure there is food kids will like - not fries and nuggets but maybe some pasta with butter or rolls with a chicken cutlet.

We make sure the kids are part of our environment and then the parents will go outside and be a part of their enjoyment - maybe a game of flag football or something.

Parents often don't want to be bothered. Kids do need to give the parents some time to talk to their friends and not interrupt but if you sit them in the basement with XBox they don't understand how to do that without being banished.

My kids are loud and fun and interesting. They still know how to talk and act in public. They know there is a different way to act at Wing Hub vs. Blacks.

I'm sorry, there is nothing more annoying than having an adult conversation with someone and then to have their teen/tween constantly answer for the mother/father and/or completely derail the conversation at hand. Kids have their place, in the next room with other kids.

They don't interrupt becuase they have learned not to. They learned though practice. Really you have a teen that does not know how to have a conversation and when not to interrupt. Sad.

You are making a statement about your own kids, but not all kids have gotten this lesson. I've been in several situations where tweens were fully engaged in adult conversation and it was really awkward and irritating. Some kids don't know their place and maybe that's why people are annoyed by them.