If your teen is sexually active...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, they are having sex already. Teens always figure it out.

Honest question. What was going through your head when you typed and posted this? Was it "my kid deceives me and so OP is likewise deceived"? Was it "OP forgot to ask "is my kid having sex" so I will just answer the question I thought she should have asked"?

I am seriously dying to know what is behind these dumb pointless responses!

I think it's just the naive confidence of OP, some things teens keep private and getting a play by play from your teen isnt healthy either. Even if they haven't done the big IT, they're having some form of sex, oral sex, HJs, etc. And where is that occurring? If they've figured that out, they'll figure out where to have the big IT.

DP.

The responses here indicate there are MANY naive parents of teens out there.

Your little children are teens now. Yes, teens think about SEX. Many try it before they get to college.

That’s just a fact. Sorry, not sorry.

And it’s a FACT that many don’t.

Sorry, not sorry.

Many parents who claim: “my child would never do THAT! Nooo - not my daughter; she will wait until her wedding night,”

- have teenage children who are having s*x.

You don’t know what you don’t know.

Nobody is denying the existence of bad kids.

Why are they bad kids for having sex?? This puritanical nonsense drives me crazy.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't necessarily call them bad, but kids shouldn't be having sex.

[Anonymous]

Not long ago, teens were getting married and started having babies because the average life expectancy wasn't much more than 40. My great grandmother was 15 when she married a 30yo in 1915. He was dead by 1925. I wouldn't be here if she hadn't been a teen mother.

Not saying that justifies anything but to expect teens not to be sexually active is to ignore most of human history.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, she isn't to my knowledge, but she did ask me if I could buy her a vibrator. I did, so of course I know she has one.

WTF? When in the history of ever has a child asked their mother to buy her a vibrator!??!

WTF? How is it the majority of moms in my peer/friends group have bought their daughter one? I thought most progressive moms were doing this! How is this strange??

I’m still processing this. My kids are in elementary. 😦

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At age 17 I used to lie to my parents about spending the night with a best friend when I was really alone with my boyfriend while his mom (single mom) travelled for work.

However we never had intercourse. We messed around in other ways (oral, making out). I just wasn't ready and I felt really strongly about it.

So I bristle when people say that every normal teen is horny and having sex at the first opportunity. Many of us did not and we had healthy sex drives and ultimately had plenty of fun in college and 20s and beyond.

That said, I have no idea what my own teens have done (or not done) in terms of sex. I mean, I would guess that my 17 year old daughter has not not sex as she attends a girls' school and has not had a boyfriend and tells me she has not kissed anyone but who the heck knows! She's been out of my sight on many weekend nights. She's gone to parties. She could be giving blow jobs in the bathroom at all of them. I truly have no way of knowing!

Oral s*x IS s*x.

Agree. We should normalize teaching girls this isn’t “starter sex” because it is really the most intimate sex act you can perform. I have a friend I have to bring food to when he gets his herpes breakouts because his whole face is a mess and he can’t go outside.

[Anonymous]

Yes my kid is bad if she has sex. I don’t care what you think of me. If I find out she is doing anything like that I will lose my SH!T completely and fine the kid she is doing with and kill him. Go ahead and judge me!!! and no I will not be buyingvibrators!!!

[Anonymous]

I have four young adult DDs and none of them ever asked me to buy a vibrator snd none of the moms I know has ever mentioned this.

And there are plenty of young women who don’t have sex in high school, even when they are in relationships. Each of my DDs talked to me after they first had sex and all of them were in college when they became sexually active. Studies show that waiting is emotionally healthier for most teens and they end up having fewer partners (which is sexually healthier, among other things, because less risk of STDs, etc.).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have four young adult DDs and none of them ever asked me to buy a vibrator snd none of the moms I know has ever mentioned this.

And there are plenty of young women who don’t have sex in high school, even when they are in relationships. Each of my DDs talked to me after they first had sex and all of them were in college when they became sexually active. Studies show that waiting is emotionally healthier for most teens and they end up having fewer partners (which is sexually healthier, among other things, because less risk of STDs, etc.).

I haven't told any of my friends that my DD asked me for a vibrator. . .because. . .that's my DD's privacy. Here it's anonymous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes my kid is bad if she has sex. I don’t care what you think of me. If I find out she is doing anything like that I will lose my SH!T completely and fine the kid she is doing with and kill him. Go ahead and judge me!!! and no I will not be buyingvibrators!!!

Sure you will...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not long ago, teens were getting married and started having babies because the average life expectancy wasn't much more than 40. My great grandmother was 15 when she married a 30yo in 1915. He was dead by 1925. I wouldn't be here if she hadn't been a teen mother.

Not saying that justifies anything but to expect teens not to be sexually active is to ignore most of human history.

+1

It also ignores the biology of puberty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes my kid is bad if she has sex. I don’t care what you think of me. If I find out she is doing anything like that I will lose my SH!T completely and fine the kid she is doing with and kill him. Go ahead and judge me!!! and no I will not be buyingvibrators!!!

So are you going to fine the kid (I guess just make them compensate your daughter for the pleasure) or kill the kid…or the greater of $250,000 or execution.

[Anonymous]

Kids shouldn't be having sex, I can't believe ppl disagree with this. There's just no reason to, especially so young. At 18, sure, even 17, but sooner than that no way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If they’ve been together for a year, they are already doing it.

Did you wait over a year as a teen?

Also most teens that have sex aren’t even in relationships.

BCP and condoms.

Times have changed but my closest friend and I both waited over a year to have PIV sex with our college boyfriends (and both ended up marrying our college boyfriends). Neither of us came from particularly conservative households and I do think we were outliers, but some people chose to wait for intercourse. For me the stress of pregnancy scares while in college didn’t seem worthwhile at first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't necessarily call them bad, but kids shouldn't be having sex.

Newsflash: once puberty hits they are biologically adults.

Less than a century ago most woman were moms before age 20. A century before that, before 17.

Fertility sure doesn’t peak when current woman now want to have kids, hence all the infertility issues.

Teens are horny. Sex feels good. There are so many forms of contraceptions and plan B if other things fail.

So stop clutching your pearls grandmas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't necessarily call them bad, but kids shouldn't be having sex.

Newsflash: once puberty hits they are biologically adults.

Less than a century ago most woman were moms before age 20. A century before that, before 17.

Fertility sure doesn’t peak when current woman now want to have kids, hence all the infertility issues.

Teens are horny. Sex feels good. There are so many forms of contraceptions and plan B if other things fail.

So stop clutching your pearls grandmas.

Yawn (DP)